Keebles World

Being in the healthcare industry, although low down on the "essential healthcare workers totem pole", it made me eligible for the vaccine waiting list. I figured it would be a couple of weeks, if not a month or two before I would be called up, but I literally got a call within 20 minutes of signing up! Apparently, the essential, essential workers are all either too scared of the vaccine, or have political beliefs that make them (and yes, I'm going here, this is, after all, a very dominant red state), too stupid to take it. Oh well, better for us further down the lines and it keeps the current batches from expiring without being used. Today was my day. I made sure to let them know I was allergic to the flu shot, had asthma, etc, etc. They kept me an extra amount of time to watch me, but I had no reaction whatsoever! It was a VERY tiny needle, didn't hurt at all and, at least so far, I have no reactions other than I feel a bit sleepy (and almost feel a bit drunk...

Yes, I actually stitched yesterday! And not just for two hours either, almost ALL day! Granted, it was very slow going, but at least it was something. Now, my "brain" says that I'm going to go home early every day this week and continue on, but I know my "body" probably will leave late and sit on the couch and do nothing. I will fight that urge though and see how far she goes before the end of the year. I did switch out Alice and the B's, because I definitely wasn't feeling them, so I picked up Snow White, my least favorite fabric'ed project in my entire collection, but one of my favorite (and oldest) patterns in rotation. I left off on her here last January (damn!): And, on Sunday, like I said, didn't get very far, but at least this far with some more hair and outside work: If I can continue on, the goal is to get more into her face before the end of the year. I need to do a final tally at my paultry work for the year, and then put ...

I'm not going to TTT this one because it's not directly therapy-related but, in case I don't have a chance before the new year, I just wanted to look back a bit at the crap-show that was 2020 as briefly as I can and hopefully put out good vibes for 2021 (damn that useless hope gene of mine). I didn't stitch as much as I wanted to (obviously). There were days at work it was all I thought about, but by the time I got home, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Before Hotel Calfornia, my brain would go silent when I stitched. I could have the TV on in the background and just focus on the pattern and my hand movements while I watched the TV. But this year more than the past three, my brain just won't shut the hell up! I have stitched, but rarely ever, and usually only for a couple of hours at a time. I hope to do better next year, but no promises. I told the therapist this is a priority for me. I need my stitchy mojo back. I didn't make a gingerbrea...

Firstly, I'm obviously still going to post cross stitch stuff (whenever I stitch, which seems to be getting less and less...I'm TRYING to work on that too with the therapist), but I've kind of decided to take my blog in a bit of a different direction, at least for a while. I've decided to share some of my trauma therapy tidbits with you guys. Obviously, I get it if you don't want to read or comment, you don't have to. Some of this might be too personal for the faint of heart, or you just might not care (and god forbid if the people mentioned below read this, I'll never hear the end of it!). I'm not going to share everything we deal with (that would be Harry Potter-esque), but when important area of interest comes up, I think this could be cathardic. Besides, you guys know me, there isn't much of my life I haven't blurted out over the years here, so I don't have many secrets left anyway. I will start each post with a TTT (Trauma Therapy ...

Today at work, my phone went off for the umptenth time with a spam call. As per usual, I just stopped the ringer, but this location caught my eye...Osawatomie, Kansas. I was all like, "Seriously? Is that a real place?". So, I Google mapped the town and it WAS! Not only that, but it's where John Brown is from! Being from the South (and being old), there was a VERY racist song that was, for some reason, very acceptable to teach kids in the 70's, so that song IMMEDIATELY popped in my head when I saw the words "John Brown" and I could NOT get it out. I was mad at myself then. I just had to remind myself that Osawatomie sounds like Pasamaquadie from Pete's Dragon and remember that song, and I was good (although typing it now, here we go again). But I glanced up to the top of the town and I saw Asylum Bridge and my brain suddenly got all excited! I have seen this on YouTube hundreds of times! Urban explorers LOVE that place, but they don't talk...

Seriously, the WORST therapy I have ever done and, unfortunately, now I'm so screwed up, I have to keep doing it now! UGH! Next time I even mention the idea of therapy, one of you guys drive to my house and just shoot me!! Thankfully, my insurance is going to cover more of it than I thought, so I might get more sessions than I thought I would. Now I have to decide whether to continue on with the Asper girl, or let that one go. She has made a massive mess after all. My brain is just so fried from that trauma session. This girl at least read my previous notes and was prepared, but the only thing I really got out of it was, "well, you have been so high functioning your entire life when you are NOT a high-functioning Asper, and technically, you need to get used to calling yourself Autistic, since that is what you technically are, so if you're unable to keep up the facade of normalcy anymore, then that's OK because you shouldn't be able to do 90% of what you are...

Last night, when I left work super early (because everyone and everything was pissing me off to the point I couldn't function), my car took a while to start. That's new. After I got home, I waited about four hours, went outside and it started right up, so I just figured maybe my keys were just buried too deep in my numerous coat pockets (because it's 30 degrees here and I HATE the cold!). But this morning, same thing, only worse. So, despite the fact that I already had one doctor texting me from the hospital (that I can't go to because of my personal issues that very few are aware of) that he's having issues and he wants me to go over there first (and today is my intern's day off, so I couldn't send him), I decided, instead, to drive my vehicle to the dealership. My rationale (purely self-serving) was that, if I did go to that hospital, I could get stuck in the parking lot and it wouldn't start at all, and then I would have to get a tow truck, whic...

Oh yeah, DON'T DO IT, DUMB-ASS!! Well, apparently, that's exactly what I've done. Most of you guys know my story, a little over three years ago now I was a bit "too" honest with a strange therapist (mine was on vacation) when I when in for a med check (because mine were BAD ju-ju and I wanted off them) and I ended up with a four-day, three-night stay in the Hotel California (as I like to call it). Granted, I wasn't in the best headspace BEFORE that little "incident", but since then, I've been on a personal lockdown ever since. By lockdown, I mean I only left the house to go to work and the barest of necesssities. It was over a year before I could take my road trips again and they were sparse. I haven't been to Disney since 2016. And, because of events that happened in said "hotel", I've slept on the couch ever since, despite numerous attempts to return to sleeping in the bed. It had been three years of a very quarantine...

First, the IMPORTANT news...my Sister and Brother-In-Law aren't any better, but they aren't any sicker either (although I can't confirm that). So, I'm not sure if that's good news or bad. But my BIL's Mother, has been battling Alzheimer's for like 15+ years (maybe more), finally passed away on Friday, so one more punch to the gut. Then, this weekend, they lost another good friend to Covid. It's wearing them both down during a time when they don't need it. Thanks to everyone for your well-wishes though. We aren't really a video-chat family, I couldn't do that myself, let alone get someone else to do that too! Sometimes I have to do it for work, but I always turn the camera AWAY from my face (that might be an issue for someone considering starting a YouTube Channel, right?). On my front, Friday's therapy session went worse than the first, and I was told that, although she was still willing to work with me, she felt that my trauma ...

This week I had "planned" to share my therapy experience and that whole path with you guys, but life kicked me in the tail in ways I didn't see coming. Literally 20 minutes of me getting to work after my therapy appointment, we got a call that a Covid-positive co-worker's wife (he was sick too), literally dropped dead! She was just 55 years old. Their daughter has it too, but she was infected elsewhere, so she hadn't been in the house. His nurse of a sister stepped in to help him do CPR on his wife, so now she has it too. But here is where I start to get angry...within hours of her passing, there were pictures on Facebook of him hugging various members of his immediate family, including a negative son (which now isn't) and many others (a lot of which are also now positive) because of all of the outpouring of grief. I would be terrified of infecting someone else, a lot more than worrying about getting a hug from someone. Is that just me? I get that I...

Or, as potentially "normal" as I can be...I stitched ONE day this weekend. I FINALLY slept a good full-night's sleep, so I thought I'd forget about everything and get caught up on Lil's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. watch-a-longs and stitch a bit. For those that don't know, Elizabeth Henstridge, who plays Agent Simmons on AOS, is having watch-a-longs on her YouTube Channel , and she has special guests including other cast members (and a lot of the big ones, not just little guys), directors, VFX people, heads of wardrobe, hair and makeup, props, and a lot of other departments. She has them remembering the episode filming, describing their personal paths into the business and what their jobs entail. It's just very informative for, not only the diehard S.H.I.E.L.D. fans, but for anyone interested in the industry in general. I didn't think I cared that much about the behind-the-scenes stuff, but it turns out, after watching her vids, I do tend to be quite en...

"Admit it, you get a quarter from the hope commission every time you say that word, don't you?". I know I use that word a lot here...and in my everyday speech, or I have in the past...not so much lately. Using that word is the side-effect of being a Disney girl maybe, but it's also a very strange trait to have for an Aspergirl with so many other conditions that, not only contradict that mentality, but that have been so rubbed raw, not only from the events of the past year with Covid, but with the past four years in general. For the past week, I've practically been sequestered in my house when I haven't been at work (but honestly, I've been that way all year, so not THAT big of a difference, but still). I've not sleeping, except for a hour or less per night, because I've been glued to my screen in terror...watching the vote totals go up and down. There has been a lot of commotion outside with people excited thinking tha...

Surprise guys! I risked my ultimate fear of jury duty and registered to vote last month so that I would be eligible for when the time came. And I did it! My long time readers know that one of the top 5 worst experiences of my entire life was being called for jury duty at the ripe age of 18. Back then, I didn't know I was an Asper, so everything I had to deal with and my horrible experience has just grown into this massive monster in my head. It's been an internal struggle of mine for years, because I do follow politics and I do care, but the fear of that monster was just too great and it's kept me from registering to vote all these years. THIS time, however, I can't let it go. I will probably immediately get called up for jury duty, but that monster is for another day (or that's how I convinced myself, anyway, so we'll stick with that story for now). Voter registration and jury duty should NOT be tied together, but they are. The early voting lines have...

Well, I haven't stitched in a couple of weeks...life isn't being very nice. I left off here last time: And, I just started back this weekend, and made it here: Again, not a lot of progress, but I'm trying not to post unless I have something positive to talk about, and lately, positivity hasn't been part of my atmosphere. It's just how it is. I do have a "weird" story...so I keep getting these REALLY annoying emails from my high school graduating class leaders wanting my social media account information so that all my classmates can get in touch with me because "I'm missed" (their words, not mine). Where this is "weird" is because, when I was in high school, I was NOT popular, I did NOT have barely, if any friends, and it was part of the worst part of my life. I have never looked back. I don't go to reunions and I don't see the point in reconnecting with these people who didn't care about me then and, it's pre...

Okay, so I know I said "no negativity", but can I just say that I HATE that Blogger made us switch to their "new" platform? Either I'm forced to use outdated "Compose view" or I'm stuck with semi-writing code "HTML View" just to make a new paragraph! Bad form Google!! Now, on with the good stuff...I left off with Dollmaker here: And, I finished the second row, I'm 217.97 hrs in, and here she is! I spent my B-day watching YouTube. I made myself a roast with all the trimmings and also a Pavlova: It was my first time making a Pavlova, but I think it turned out OK...it certainly tasted amazing, although it didn't keep very well and I had to throw a lot of it out. Miranda, I'm not. My Sister also got me my Disney watch I REALLY wanted, but wouldn't dare spend that much money on myself! I wish she hadn't, but she did. Once I got done with Dollmaker, I went back to Maleficent (I was feeling in the mood to fini...

Well, I guess you guys might have been wondering why I've been silent for so long...I've made myself a promise that I won't be posting anything negative anymore about how "horrible" my life is so, until I have something positive to say, I won't post. Hence, the silence. I've had nothing positive to say! I still don't, but I did actually stitch this weekend for the first time since July, so I thought I'd share that. I'm still not sure what made me decide to stitch, but I guess It doesn't matter! I left off on the Bride Dollmaker here back on July 26th: And, since it has been a while, my hands started cramping pretty bad by yesterday afternoon and I didn't get that far, but I did pretty well for such a long time out, and I made it here: If I keep going this week, I should have the row finished by this weekend! I'll let you guys know if I continue on. Speaking of, Sunday, the 27th, will be my 50th Birthday. (No exclamation p...

I'm getting so behind in life that I can't even keep up with my own Blogoversary! But yesterday was my 9th! Can you believe I've been on Blogger for NINE YEARS? And yet I still have accomplished NOTHING but tons of ranting, a bit of stitching, some self-discovery, but probably more self-destruction (but by no one's hand's but my own), and a lot of trips to various places (but mainly the Gulf Coast and Disney and it's now been FOUR years since I've been on Disney property...even that seems hard to believe). More than anything though, I've "met" some amazing, wonderful, caring, and yes, I'm going to say it, friends , that I cherish more than I do the people I interact with every single day! You guys understand me, support me, and, best of all, "get" me! I can never thank you enough! I haven't been a good blog friend myself, especially in the past couple of years since my trip to the funny farm and all my work issues, b...

Question is...for the good or bad? I took Thursday and Friday off because I figured Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. was going to kill me. Ironically, not only did it not kill me, but made me extraordinarily happy! I wasn't expecting that! So like Once Upon A Time, I now have a show that I can continue to watch for years to come (I would say over and over again, but I've already watched Shield enough times to make that statement null and void, so no need to go there, but at least I can continue on). But rather unexpectedly for both me and my bosses (although it has been discussed ad nauseam for almost a year), a random inquiry of one of our current medical interns came up with a possible I.T. intern for me. I'm personally not a fan of our interns, but I'm kind of desperate, so I figured, "why not?". Everything happened very quickly. They brought him in for an interview and I had to explain everything I'm behind on, what all I do, what all that's ahead,...

No stitching to report...yeah, I suck. I have bought some charts, two from Witchykitt's (which I kind of begged her for, anything Shield or Once, so I was grateful for what I got): And two from someone new (at least for me), Thread Geeks : The ones from Thread Geeks I found by accident when I was just Googling Once patterns (which I do from time to time, trying to find anything I can). I did find a website that had a Once graphgan pattern. I can't crochet at all, but graphgans are fairly similar to cross stitching and I bet I could make it on the plastic stuff and still come out with something. There is a lady at work that does crochet, so maybe I could get her to do the actual crocheted accents. I downloaded the entire pattern (since it was free), but I'm not sure if (or when), I'll ever do anything with it. I'm on the word count kick again. I decided to make a word list first of Once, sorting it alphabetically to edit out duplicates, then I think I...

It's been a couple of weeks since I stitched anything, I left off on The Bride Dollmaker here: Granted, the first few days of that time were spent worrying about Bam, but he's had his teeth cleaned and, although we're still playing the "I'm not going to eat unless you hand-feed me" (a trap which I'm still falling into), he's doing MUCH better. Ever since then though, I think that, between the miserableness of work (which I should be grateful that I still have a job when so many don't) and the horribleness of the world (when I live in the most protective bubble ever), I just feel like doing absolutely nothing but watching YouTube (excluding Wednesday night's Agent's of S.H.I.E.L.D., where I lament over their lack of Fitz, which puts me in an even bigger funk). I just can't bring myself to stitch at all anymore and I have no excuse. If I didn't have such a stupidly cheerful demeanor most times (could that be med related?), I'...

After a weekend of whining and we're still doing the "Mommy, please feed me or I'm not going to eat" mess (which I am going to stop tonight...either eat on your own son, or go hungry, thems the rules from now on), Bam is doing WAY better! It must have been all the good vibes you guys sent our way! I didn't get any stitching done because we did still play this all weekend: I did manage to put my new coffee table together (after it sitting in my duckroom for three weeks). I got tired of looking at this mess (please forgive the carpet and the rugs...27 years of cycles of elderly dogs does a number on carpet, not to mention the time that my ex-husband (then husband) thought it would be a good idea to put bleach in the carpet cleaner...don't ask...and I'm not going to replace the carpet until we move out anyway because it will just get ruined again before then): I had styrofoam ALL over the floor by the time I got done and was vacuuming everywhere, but ...