Hook's progress

For someone not stitching much (pretty much only on the weekends), I'm making pretty good progress, especially on the projects I claim to hate so much! I left off on Hook here last week:

And, as much as I was dreading the white, I couldn't stop once I started! I was only going to do two rows this week and move back to his head, but two rows turned into two more, which turned into "well, I'm already halfway down", which turned into, "well, there's only a couple more rows left" and, before I knew it, I had all the left side of the white done!

It also meant that, instead of the two days I had "planned" for the white, I ended up spending almost the entire holiday on it, which also meant that there was barely any time left for his head. Plus, by the time I got to his head, I was just tired of him, so I'm thinking it's time to move on again, but that will depend on how I feel when I get home tonight. Because of all the white, my arm is also incredibly sore. Those side bars are long, so I have to reach in weird ways to get to both the top and, the deeper I go to the inside, to the middle of the canvas. I think I need to switch just to give my arm a break (and not to break my arm!).

I also had to buy a new iPad this week. The one I had was several years old, was owned by the lab, and was giving out on me really quickly. I didn't want to get in a situation where I lost it because I have a LOT of important cross stitch (and game) information on there. My boss told me over a year ago to get a new one, but I didn't and, now that things aren't in a good place for us, I don't want to ask for a new one, I only use it for personal reasons anyway (unlike my laptop), and I really don't like feeling guilty that I only use it for personal reasons, so I splurged. "Supposedly", once this whole mess is over with and the grant money we got clears an expiration hurtle, I'm going to get that so-called bonus I was promised all those months ago for doing all that work on building that new computer system, so I dipped into my savings with that potential (I'll believe it when I see it) bonus money in mind. In true "me" fashion, of course I went for the best, but I'm starting to want to get into digital art myself (if I can't find good art to turn into cross stitch patterns, I'll just learn to create my own!), so I need the tools to do so! But also, since it was so last minute, I don't have a case (and they are incredibly hard to find for the new models...took me forever and it's going to take a while to come in) and I had to order a pencil online because they didn't have one in the stores. Normally, with a purchase like this, I have the case and even the screen protector before I even start talking to AT&T. For now, I'm still carrying it around in the box to keep it safe. It also means it will be on my phone bill now instead of the company's...that will take some getting used to!

I wish it was the only "bad" thing I did this week, but it wasn't. I've already ordered more masks than one person will ever need (I just think it will be a way of life from now on, especially in the medical field), which isn't cheap if you're ordering specialized Disney masks, but because food is going up exponentially in price as well, instead of buying less of it, I seem to be buying more (and eating more as well). I'm not sure why. To make matters worse, I also broke down and bought my "Regina bowls"...for anyone that has watched Once Upon A Time, you probably know what I'm talking about, the coral white bowls that Regina ALWAYS kept apples in. She had one in her office and one in her house and you would be hard-pressed to find a single screen shot of Regina's office where you don't see that apple bowl. I've wanted those bowls for-ev-ah...they will go with the decor of my new house (you know, the house I'll NEVER be able to afford because I keep buying things to go in it and charging up my credit cards so I can never afford said house?). This particular decor I'm calling "Once Upon A Time Chic"....subtle nods to the show without being overt, little touches here and there, but the piece-de-resistance has ALWAYS been those apple bowls. For a long time, Amazon has been out of stock and I thought I'd lost the chance to get them, but they got more in and, although they went rather quickly, I got the very last one. I wish I could say they were cheap (they weren't), but oh well. At least they aren't the version Pier One used to carry! Bloody hell, they were proud of those! Maybe someday, my bowls will sit on the desk/table/whatever of the room I decide to make Regina-themed (or maybe they will stay in the box with all the other "future house" decorations that seem to now be cluttering up my Duck Room more than it's already cluttered!).

This is also a HUGE week because, not only is it the final season premiere of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., but we are also going to launch Americans into space this week from American soil for the first time in almost 10 years! That's pretty frickin cool! I'm not sure what I'm more worried about, Shield killing off Fitz, or how the Dragon capsule will perform with real humans aboard (I'm only half kidding about the Fitz versus real humans there, fyi). I think the Falcon 9 has already proven itself as a stable rocket, but the capsule itself...ugh. I am old enough to remember the Challenger disaster as well as numerous other launch failures and I know what a delicate procedure it is, but I also know the future of space flight depends on them nailing this. I've watched every launch that SpaceX has done so far and watched the progression of each iteration of the Falcon line, so I'm pretty excited about it and I think it will be OK, but you never know. If we ever want to get to the Moon again or even to Mars, we have to get this this first trial right (if not perfect). Coincidentally, both the launch and Shield happen on the same day. I'm going to be useless on Wednesday (which I just realized is TOMORROW)!

Which reminds me of another rant...why aren't there any good (or just ANY) Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. cross stitch patterns out there? Granted, there isn't even a lot of good fan art out there, but still. You got promo posters, there is actual comic material to pull from, Disney itself sells fan art, so I know there is some material out there that someone could make a cross stitch pattern from! Is it because it's mainly considered a "guy's show" and it's hard to find patterns for the guy genre of stuff? But it's also Marvel, so that should count as any gender, right? I've had a lot of people tell me they are surprised that someone like me (aka, a girl), likes AOS. There is nothing masculine about Shield to me, it's all about the characters and it has one of the best couple ships on TV...that is totally a girl thing, right? Or do guys ship too? I choose reactioners on YouTube first by a) if you're a guy, I want to see you watch Once and b) if you're a girl, I want to see you watch Shield. I might cross those paths if I really like the reactor on what brought me to their channel, but I come for the gender mashup...I like seeing guys enjoy Once and girls enjoying Shield just because I think both of those shows are often stereotyped and I don't think they should be.

But anyway, have a good week, watch the sky on Wednesday, and keep your fingers crossed for my beloved Fitz! He only has to make it for 13 episodes (and I guess Jemma needs to make it with him, there is no Fitz without Simmons). Stay safe everyone!

It's Hook's turn

I decided to give up on Sleepy Hollow because it was just too much trouble and I was getting bored. Maybe by next go-round, I will be in a better head space with it. Since I only have three more of my "bottom of the barrel" projects, Hook was next in line. He's my first monochrome pattern ever (I have four in the set BTWs, Hook, Graham, August and Jefferson, all from Tilton Crafts, which I thank immensely for creating)...I just didn't think ahead about the difficulties of a black and white pattern, I was only thinking "ONCE PATTERNS!". For you pattern makers out there, there are still fans of Once Upon A Time out there (I can't be the only one, there are too many YouTube videos for Once, so I know it's not just me), but we Once stitchers go NUTS for patterns and there just aren't enough quality ones out there! I have seen some on Etsy that just aren't that great, but when I do run across a good one, I suck it right up in a heartbeat! My access is limited to pretty much just Etsy and the stores like Tilton or others who rely on artists that created Once fan art, so it's kind of sad pickins' folks.

And I think I've mentioned my interaction with the artist that created these black and white monstrosities (as well as several other pieces of Once artwork that Tilton has turned to patterns, which, I do happen to own almost all of...I'm a glutton for punishment, but at least the others are colored!), so I'm not particularly a fan of him personally, but I am a huge fan of his work, even if, while claiming to be a Oncer too, was EXTREMELY rude to me about why he didn't draw Charming (although it STILL drives me insane that there is no Charming to complete this set). I can't wrap my head around the fact that he didn't complete the male lead character set without THE main character (which, at the time the other three were "active", Charming was still the lead character...Hook technically doesn't belong in a series with Jefferson, Graham and August for reasons that fans will know, he should be in a second series with maybe Neal, Robin and possibly Dr. Whale, or a case could be made for Peter Pan). I think that's probably why I don't usually tag his name like I do all the other artists who make the charts I stitch. It's a constant reminder of how rude he was to me in that email. I have a sneaky suspicion that he did actually tried to draw David/Prince Charming and it turned out bad, so he didn't include it. Happens to the best of us. If that was the case (and I'm not saying it was, I just kind of feel that way), I wish he would have said that instead of what he did say, I would respect him more for it. Some people just have features that are just hard to draw. I used to be an artist too, so I know that's a fact (and I also know it's hard to admit it sometimes). But I also know that a character study is a character study, and whether you like characters or not, if they are part of the canon, you draw them, personal feelings aside. I don't particularly care for Emma or Belle, but if I were doing a female version of these, I would draw both of them, whether I enjoyed it or not, because they BELONG in the group. I have a few other non-Once drawings that Tilton turned into stitches of his, so every time I see his name, all I'm going to think of is that rude email that I interpreted as "Josh Dallas sucks, now f'off". Never meet (or email) your idols people. Lesson learned. His work is so good, it even got me to buy the Once version of Sleeping Beauty, who is my FAVORITE princess, but I HATED that interpretation of her on the show (in their defense, it was a very high bar to reach in the first place, so it was doubtful they could have done better...don't get me started on Phillip, my favorite Prince)! But it's a nice piece of artwork, it's purple, and it reminds me of the show...I couldn't help myself! I guess I can play Snow and hold out "hope" of a Charming someday (considering his response, I SERIOUSLY doubt it). Oh well, that's old news and I'm getting off track here (shock).

Granted, I could just buy stitching software and make my own Once patterns, but I've had some of that software the past and it never worked out well for me, and then there is the whole copyright issue that I don't even want to think about tackling. Nowadays, spending that kind of money on cross stitch software seems frivolous (but apparently buying the equivalent in patterns doesn't?). I'm not on Facebook, so all those patterns in the cool groups I don't have access to, aren't enough to lure me back into the hell that was Facebook for me, although I still have to thank my amazing friend who gifted me Snow and Charming from there...that is my absolute favorite of all my Once patterns (and why I whipped it out in four months!). I can never remember if she wanted to be named, so I don't name her, but that project hangs in my office, so I will be eternally grateful (and she knows who she is)! Despite my hatred for Jennifer Morrison, I still want an Emma and Hook pattern that matches Snow and Charming, which, I have "technically found" where the Snow and Charming picture originated and therefore "can get" an Emma and Hook that matches, but I would have to make it into a pattern myself and again, we are talking copyright issues. Ugh!

Okay, dismounting soapbox and back to the topic at hand, Killian Jones...I did debate doing them on white fabric and just not stitching the white, but I felt like that would be "cheating" since white is in the pattern. I'm just the type that follows the pattern. I can't help it! I wish I was the type that could modify or change patterns to suit my will or to make it look better, but I'm a) not that creative, b) a total chicken and c) too OCD to mess with a set pattern anyway. I'm still debating on restarting it on white fabric, even now (I'm only 25 hrs in, so it's not a big loss, but I need to make a decision soon before I get too much further), but I seriously doubt I will (again, not to beat a dead horse, but it's probably why I think a character study should contain ALL the main characters, I like rules...it's probably why Captain America is my favorite superhero, I like his code of honor).

Anyhoo...here's what he'll look like done:

But once I got him remounted with the American Dream tape versus the "supposed" super-strong velcro I bought from Amazon (and then had to resupport with the tape I used to use on projects back in the day that STILL wouldn't hold him to the scroll rods...I guess he hated being strung up, typical Hook!), he's been a lot easier to work with than I remembered. I'm still not enjoying the continuous (and monotonous) massive count of white, but I've decided to just do a row at a time and then move on to the top of his head and surrounding areas to break up the time. Here's where I left off back in March of 2018 (bad me!) and you can tell how bad he's sagging there...it was a constant struggle to keep him attached to the rods:

And, I didn't stitch a lot this week, but there is some movement:

You can't tell because a lot of the colors are close to the fabric color, but I got a LOT filled in on his head and the surrounding area, so here's a close up (although, since I didn't do a close up before, I guess it's moot, but oh well, here you go anyway):

Since I'm still not in hatesville with him, I think I might keep on going this week, starting with another row of white (since it's getting shorter with every row...although I do have to do the right side too...ugh). Once I get the third row done, I'll move back to the head. Then I'll reassess next weekend. I don't want to finish the head and surrounding "swish" though, because that leaves only white, and that puts me in Night Wish moon territory. I may have to do two or three rows of white as they get shorter. It's really only long at the very top.

Another ironic thing about Hook is his needle minder. When I started him, I had the Once storybook which I moved to Snow and Charming while I was doing them, so I had to get a new one for Hook. I went with a white swan (obviously...those who have seen the show will get it), but on the fabric, that swan does not look white at all! If I take it off...snow white, but on the fabric, it's dull and almost yellow (not just in photos, but to the naked eye as well)! Go figure! I guess, now that I'm done with Snow and Charming, I could put the storybook back, but I like the idea of the swan. Oh well, I'll just keep in the back of my mind that I know it's white and hopefully that will be enough (but I keep getting distracted by it). Or, I could get a black swan (again, if you've seen the show you'll get that too), but that's not my favorite season, which is why I went with white in the first place. Besides, if I finish another one, my actual storybook patterns are next up, so I will need the storybook bookmark for them.

Oh well, enough rambling and ranting (and I was a bit ranty on this one, sorry!). Hope everyone is staying safe and happy stitching!

Weekly Stitching

Snow and Charming are coming along nicely, despite the fact that I didn't really have a good stitch week. But still, if all goes according to plan and I do OK this week, I should have them finished by the end of this week. I left off here last week:

And, despite the pain that Flickr has now become since the change-over to their new management (but I have WAY too many photos in there to switch to anything else, so I'm kind of stuck), I FINALLY managed to find where the new ones I put this week ended up and here is where I stopped Sunday night:

I'm excited to finish it and scared at the same time. Plus, I think I might, if I finish early, go around the border a couple of times with the outside color, just to have a little extra "padding" for framing. I just wish I had another Once realistic project to go to next! I guess I could technically make one, but then there is the whole copyright issue and I'm not sure I want to tackle that. I have LOVED every second of this project and I am eternally grateful to the wonderful person who gifted it to me, but finishing it means I have to make some serious decisions about rotations and how to redo Hook, or even if I want to...still on the fence about that one. Logic (and you guys) tell me that it would be best to switch to white fabric, but then I think about the edges of the project and when to know what is the edge white and what is fill-in background white and that's a lot of thinking. My whole thing with cross stitching is that I don't want to think about what I'm actually physically doing, that's the time my mind goes "elsewhere". As it is now, just filling in the white means there wouldn't be any thinking involved, but my goodness, how boring it would be just stitching all that white! I guess I could always see if I could cut down the background a bit:

But it would be cutting it close down by his right arm area:

I swear Hook didn't look white at all, which is why I picked the fabric I did so it would make it easier to stitch the white on. I had such a hard time with Night Wish's moon on that first row because I was stitching white-on-white and I had to stitch a little moon and then switch to something else because I kept getting bored. This is SOOO much more white than that!

I guess I can only focus on finishing Snow and Charming now and THEN see where I stand. I'm still in such a massive Once Upon A Time mood, I'm not sure I can go into a normal rotation without going directly to Hook or another Once project in my stash.

But speaking of stash, I did actually buy a new chart this week. It's from UnconventionalX on Etsy, who I've followed for a long time, but never actually bought anything from. It's called "The Blue Marble is So Fragile" by Borda Danut Adrian and it's very moi!

There is so much detail in this picture, it's amazing! There are actually a few more of that artist's patterns in their shop, but none fit me as well (and I've got to stop buying every single chart by an artist just because I have one and I like style but maybe not necessarily the piece).

Oh, and I failed to mention it, but quite a while ago, I bought another chart from MandarinksDesigns, Rumplestiltskin's dagger. It's not the typical type of pattern I would buy because I HATE it when the outlines go over half the stitches, but I couldn't help it considering the pattern (and the fact that Once charts are EXTREMELY rare). They really have some great patterns, but it's that whole "outline over stitches" thing that gets me. Typically, I fix those as I stitch, but it's such a struggle because then you are creating half or quarter stitches, I just don't like to bother (thinking+stitching=annoying). Besides, I think HAED's have spoiled me to just full stitches and I can't seem to do anything else anymore. But anyhoo, here is the pattern and I love how Belle's rose comes out the top of it:

There are a lot of great artists in DeviantArt (if you can muddle through all the semi-porn or bad stuff) who have done some amazing Once artwork and, if I hadn't gotten such a dismissive response from the Hook artist about Charming, I probably would send a message to a few of them and ask them to license out their work to Tilton or HAED or someone because they would make excellent stitch projects, but now I'm too chicken. There is a great series of holding hand pics of the Once couples from Sarah Mac Illustration that would make great cross stitch projects...here's the Hook and Emma one from her RedBubble store and then another great one is Svenja Gosen, who sells her stuff on Etsy too as well as RedBubble...it's just easier to find their RedBubble stores than find them on Etsy or DeviantArt for some reason (these are watermarked, so I think it's OK to post them, but if not, please let me know...friggin copyright laws!). Then again, I guess I could just learn digital art and do one myself and then turn it into a cross stitch project, but that's SOOO much work! It's much easier for someone else to let their work be commissioned out, especially when it's probably better than anything I could ever do anyway!

Weekly Stitching (I just LOVE typing those words!)

I did quite a bit of stitching this week. This was a very heavy confetti row, but I FINALLY made it through! I left off here last week:

And finally finished the row late Friday night for a total of 215.49 hrs so far which, ironically enough, about 150 or more of those hours were done in the month of January:

And here they are in their completeness up through row 3:

Saturday and Sunday were dedicated to starting and working on the final row, which isn't a full one, and doesn't have a lot of confetti (except for the far right side), so it should (hopefully) go quickly. I did, late Saturday night, start seeing Hidden Mickey's in there, which turned to Hidden Minnie's, and even spotted a Hidden Daisy next to the Hidden Minnie, but you decide for yourself if I was just getting delirious or actually seeing them...Daisy is on the left facing Minnie (or Mickey with two Mickeys between his ears) on the right:

But anyhow, despite the delirium of Saturday, I didn't take my Ritalin Sunday (which I often don't do on the weekends), and had a hard time focusing on Sunday. I spent the entire day trying to force myself to stitch, and as the day turned to night and the night wore on, it got harder and harder to keep stitching. My contacts started getting glazed over, I couldn't focus, but I just kept repeating to myself that I quit school for this, so I wasn't stopping. When I finally did quit because I was just too tired, I FINALLY figured out why...it was 11:45 pm! I have an alarm that reminds me to take my meds at 9:30 (if I take them any later, it makes it EXTREMELY difficult to get up the next morning and they still don't even kick in until midnight or so) and, at some point, I must have turned off the alarm, but I surely don't remember doing that, let alone it going off in the first place. My contacts are gas perms and hard, so that explains the haze I was trying to see through. No frickin wonder I was tired! Looks like I got my stitching mojo back in spades when I stitch through alarms and hazy vision!

I ended Sunday night here:

I tried yet another way to break my Once habit, by listening to a Once podcast that was created as the show was running. It's funny and frustrating at the same time because they are sometimes so far off base with their theories, but again, they are watching technically in "real time". But even back then, I think I could figure things out better than these guys did! I do like how they take screen shots and over-analyze every single scene so they are pointing things out that even I've never noticed, but then again, they fail to notice what is right in front of them (like the fact that there is a Hidden Mickey in every single episode as well as other characters...I'm personally still trying to find all those Hidden Mickey's myself). I stopped listening on Saturday because they pissed me off too much by calling Graham "he who must not be named" because they don't like him (who hates Jamie Dornan?) and they hate Hook too. Granted, Hook started out bad, but they haven't ever mentioned the chemistry between Emma and Hook. Granted, as Hook would say, his intentions were less than noble, but still, sparks were flying left and right between those two and these podcast guys can't even see it. I also wonder who these podcast people are, because there are a lot of pop culture references that they are completely missing in the show (that their "live" callers and forum members point out for them but they still don't understand them) and they pull out a lot of Biblical references (which is so NOT a Once type thing, despite the overall positive notes of hope throughout the show), so I think it's probably good I don't continue on. So, in the end, all it did was push me back into watching Once, OCD unbroken. Oh well, maybe I'll find something else that will distract me. I still have the reaction videos on YouTube (although those only come out every couple of weeks). At least for now, watching Once Upon A Time over and over is my zen at the end of a rough day until another show comes along.

Weekly Stitching (a regular stitching post...yea!!)

This was one of those weeks that I stitched like crazy (other than the two days I had a migraine), but I seemed to get no where. It's the reason why I'm glad I take pictures every night, or else I could never see the progress sometimes! Last week I left off here:

This has been a rough row...lots of confetti, but I still hope to finish it this week and move on to the final (and short) row next week and hopefully be finished in a couple of weeks. And, despite all the work I put in this week, I only made it to here last night:

I want to finish this project before I start back into a normal stitching rotation. I'm not really sure why, I just feel like it's what I need to do. And I'm also still not sure I don't want to finish DoNa's Rapunzel before moving on to a rotation...that WAS the plan back when I left off on her last July (when I tried so desperately to force myself to stitch). I left off on her just beginning row 2:

But, then again, I'm also still completely obsessed with Once Upon A Time, so there is always Hook which I barely got started on. And I still have to make a decision on whether to continue with the same fabric or switch over to white so I don't have to actually stitch all the white background...that was either ambitious on my part, or stupid. I guess right now I'm still deciding. It would look better stitched, but I am lazy (and have more WIPs and stash than lifetimes, so it might be better to switch now before I get too far in):

Decisions, decisions...I seem to be riddled with them lately! But Hook might be better served in a rotation anyway, so there is that.

But I have managed, at least for a few days, to break my Once viewing habits. I started watching MI-5 again over on Hulu (Spooks for all my Brit friends) and it's amazing how that show has held up over the years, despite it's age, and how socially relevant it still is! I missed my beloved Adam Carter and, although I haven't gotten to the Lucas North years yet, I'm prepared for that heartbreak (I am too much like Tom to get emotionally attached to him). For anyone who hasn't ever watched the show, I highly recommend it, although, I feel I should warn you, don't get attached to anyone...they often die horrible, painful, brutal, gut-wrenchingly, sob-worthy deaths. But just about every single British actor has been on that show at some point, and you might even see someone you didn't remember being on there (an Avenger or two maybe and definitely an Austen man, maybe a Hobbit or Potter alum, even a Oncer or two...just trust me, you will recognize someone!).

School and Stitching, Stitching and School

Well, I went to classes, and they actually weren't so bad. Technically, they went pretty well, but then again, it WAS only the first week. I settled into to Precalculus a bit TOO well, which either means I'm gonna ace that class, or I'm going to get TOO comfortable and stop trying and then my grades will drop.

Programming, at least so far, has been a bit rough, but I knew that was coming. She started on Monday with assigning us 45 vocabulary definitions to memorize by Wednesday, only 5 of which was on the quiz. Not nice. Same this week and, apparently, same every week. She likes her vocab. And C++ is a strange programming language. I don't get seven lines of code and two lines of execution just to say "Hello World!" when, in Python, it was just one line and run. The logic of all of that extra crap will be hard for me to deal with. I was a nervous wreck by the end of lab, but that's nothing new. I had that same issue last semester.

But what didn't go well was the fact that my daily annoying little dull headaches have started back...the ones that started way before I got diagnosed with my migraines. I stopped by my doctor's office and, like everyone else, they think it's just because I'm not used to getting up early and they will fade as I get adjusted, but I think they are wrong. I am NOT a morning person, never have been, never will be. This is now week 2 and the headaches are still here.

I should have studied and done my homework this weekend, but instead, when my head wasn't pounding, I stitched. I kept saying I would only stitch for a few hours, then work on homework, but I do have control issues and when I start something, it's hard for me to stop. I said I would only stitch on Saturday, but the first thing I started Sunday morning with Snow and Charming again with the intention of homework come Sunday night, but again, it was an all-day event and by Sunday night, by head was hurting bad enough, I even had to stop stitching. Thank goodness Monday is a school holiday, so at least I can get my homework done tonight (hopefully). I left off here last week on the Charmings:

And obviously, with an all-weekend headache and only two days of stitching, I didn't get very far, but I figure every little bit counts, so here's where I ended up:

If I can manage some self control (somehow) and some weekend stitching (with some homework built in), maybe I can finish the Charmings come the end of the semester. We'll see.

But this whole headache thing has got me wondering again why I'm putting myself through all this. If I would have had a working printer at home Sunday night, I would have just printed off the University Withdrawal form, filled it out and emailed it back it in one whack. Luckily, I got a text from my school friend and she talked me out of it (temporarily), but I'm still considering it today. I have to make my decision soon before my loan money hits my account (I guess that's the ONLY good thing about the government shut down...it's delayed financial aid payments, but still, this whole situation is BEYOND ridiculous, all over a bloody wall...let it go Biff!).

I also had a couple conversations with my advisor about changing majors...she doesn't want me to. She thinks I'm where I'm supposed to be. My disability officer agrees and she even thinks that I'm just scared with doing things outside of my comfort zone, even though I usually always succeed and she gave me the "lecture" about how stepping outside that zone is worth it because it proves my abilities are strong when I do succeed. But what I had to explain to her is yes, that is true, but the discomfort and sometimes physical and mental torment that it takes for me to get through it to that success is often not worth the benefits of the reward and I often don't even want to deal with the reward afterwards because it was such an ordeal to obtain. For me, at least, the benefits don't outweigh the struggle. I'm not sure she understood that.

So right now, I'm not sure what to do. I guess I'll go home, do homework, go to class tomorrow, and see how it goes. Get up Wednesday and do the same. Maybe, before I know it, it will be May and I'll have the summer off to REALLY think about what I want to do. But then again, an entire summer off might not be a good idea, but since I have to pay for summer classes out of pocket, and I need new tires and possibly new brakes...classes are out of the question. Here's hoping this doesn't end up another semester of whiny blog posts, but rather good school news and still cross stitch posts, eh?

Row 2 finish!!!

First off, thank you to everyone for your support as always. I did make a pros and cons list, but what it all boils down to is what I want and what I need. I don't want to go through the struggle of this education, but I need it. I can't ever make a pros list for things I "need". There is just no motivation for needs, but if this was something I wanted, I could write and epic novel's length list. Which is why, despite all the odds, I'm going to at least give school a few weeks. Worse comes to worse, I'm only out a couple of hundred bucks and have struggled through a couple weeks of extreme stress (it wouldn't be the first time). If I make it, then I'll be the better for it and I guess I'll go through the same discussion come next semester, and the one after that, and the one after that and maybe, if I keep it up, I'll eventually graduate and I'll won't have to do this anymore!

But, on the stitching front, I'm hoping I will still be able to manage to stitch this semester, although I'm not counting on it...I sure as heck didn't have time last semester and this one will probably have more work to it, so we'll just have to see. I left off here last week:

And I worked my butt off this week to finish the second row, which I managed to do late Saturday night at 142.78 hrs in:

And both pages together:

Obviously, the bottom two pages are going to be boring as sin because there is no faces or fun parts, but I still started on row 3 anyway, just to avoid dealing with all the things I needed to do to prepare for Monday morning (which, as of 7:39 pm on Sunday night, I still haven't obviously done). But alas I stopped here:

Again, since I'm leaving off at a weird place, maybe that will be enough to keep me going on this project during the semester. I have a bad habit of only being able to focus on one thing at a time, so either I'll make time for stitching in my free non-homework time, I'll not work on school stuff because I'll be stitching (like I ended up doing at the end of last semester with watching Once...which I'm still doing by the way), or I'll continue my bad Once habit and do nothing but sit and stare at the TV. Who knows how this early morning school schedule will affect me. I'm not the typical person that, if I get up earlier, I'll go to bed earlier. Wake time matters not in my world. I could still stay up all night given the chance and could sleep all day given equal opportunity. Wake time only affects my mood (as work shall soon experience...HA!).

Oh well, guess I'd better start doing all the prep work I've been delaying...or I'll continue to watch Once. Not sure yet!

Weekly Stitching

This is almost sad, but I'm going to post it anyway. In my defense, I had a REALLY bad week (as you guys know) and, on top of that, I've been having major contact issues. I can't stitch on 28ct without my contacts and readers. With my eye condition, glasses don't correct the problem...I'm not allowed to drive with them, I can't read with them by themselves (you wouldn't believe how big I have my screen blown up right now), and my eyes constantly water without my contacts in. But my contacts are also gas perms, which means they are tiny, but hard. So I can't sleep in them, and when they irritate, they REALLY irritate, so I'm taking a weekend break from them while they soak in the "heavy" juice. I had exactly one stitching day last week so I went from nada:

To a hair past nada:

Remember when I said that stitching all that white background wouldn't bother me? I think I might have lied. I also now know where the crappy fabric for Snow White came from...it's that tubed Charles Craft Monaco (because this is the same). Before I go any further, I need to decide (once my eyeballs get settled), whether or not I start again on a better piece of white Monaco (so I don't have to do the background), buy a better piece and start over, or just keep on keepin' on. It's not a heavily confetti'ed project like Snow, so maybe it won't be as bad. It's also a lot smaller than Snow, so that's a factor. Part of me considered just going back to Rapunzel (since I can see it with my glasses doubled up), but I guess with everything else going on this past week, maybe I just needed a break and some zone-out time with Sam and Dean.

I had a hard time picking a needle minder for this puppy too. I looked at swans (for Emma) and anything else related to Once, but in the end, I just went with the Once book that really doesn't look like THE book. I still kind of like it although I had to put a MUCH bigger magnet on the back, it came with the tiniest little heart one that wouldn't hold a needle, let alone the minder on the project.

And since I may have just offended the seller by criticizing their choice of magnets, I won't post a link to their store. They were great to deal with, I just don't think they build a strong enough needle minder.

I said I was going to ignore the 50% off HAED sale this week, but when I don't stitch, apparently I get bored very fast and I tend to spend money on stupid stuff, tax money that I was so proud I used to pay down on my credit cards (that didn't last long). Don't get me started on the crap I bought for my new laptop (like decals, a hard case, and little neat toys that I DON'T need). I like pimped out laptops, after all, I am a geek. I also have to break down and buy a new phone this week (the tax money is almost gone, so I'd better hurry), so I had to have swag for it too.

But back to the HAED sale. I wasn't too bad, I only bought two, but I think they are very aprapo for the way things have been going lately:
Despair by Rebecca Sinz:

And Hope, also by Rebecca Sinz:

I figure since I'm a walking symbol of both despair and hope, I will do these together and they will be a reminder of this time, even if I don't do them until years down the road. It was kind of the whole lesson in Once Upon A Time...to always have hope no matter how bad things get. They are not very Once'y, they are probably more Supernatural'y with the whole Angels thing, but I'm kind of trapped between the two worlds now anyway...loosing Once while binge watching SN for the third time in a row.

As far as school goes, I did manage a pretty in depth look at the Undergrad Bulletin on Friday and I still think I might be over my head with the BS in Computer Science. If I take well to the Physics though, I may add Physics as a minor which will help with my Astronomy aspirations. If I can't cut the CS but do good with Physics, I may just switch to either Computer I.T. or Physics by itself. I.T. is no different than what I do day to day now, I will just know more (and have that little piece of paper that will make sure I get the pay I deserve). Astronomy is still the goal (at least for now), but it will all be determined by my adeptness at physics...if I can't cut it, then dream over anyway. My school has two Astronomy courses...Intro to Space Science and Astronomy (which is a Physics class course, but doesn't count toward a physics degree for some reason, doesn't even count as a physics elective). But I do have options for the first time in my entire life. If all else fails, I still have all those "rotting" art classes that can go towards a computer design degree too. Yet more options.

Monday is "shot" day, and once that is sorted, then I've got to get an advisor and get the disabilities office to get me a tour of the campus (it has changed SOOO much since the last time I was there, I couldn't find my way to a bathroom!). Then the real planning for my future can begin! I should be a lot more scared than I am. I still think reality hasn't sunk in yet. Shots first and, since my GP is a total dick and I have like three major work meetings throughout the day too, I have the feeling tomorrow isn't going to be a good day either. But hey, in typical me fashion, here's hoping Tuesday works out!

Ugh...the internet!

Yes, I know I'm extremely opinionated, often to the point of obsession (you could blame either the Aspergers or OCD for that). That's why I typically don't read comments about things I love because I tend to get quite upset sometimes (and I NEVER post comments anymore because I often get into a cyber war). But, because of the events last night, I've found myself scouring the web more than once today for more information and, since my blog is for my big mouth, I thought it best to post my comment here instead on numerous boards and websites (my anger level is pretty high right now). And it's been a while since I stepped on my very high soapbox, so here I go!

Those that watch Once Upon A Time (the only American show I watch regularly and actually like) got a shock last night, a major character died (and that's all I'm saying because you may not have watched the episode yet). OUAT fans knew it was coming, the creators told us in January a major character was leaving the show, we just didn't know which one. Yet the backlash on the news stories today has been atrocious to say the least, mainly because most people think the creators are pandering to the shippers of the OUAT community by making sure the pathway is clear for two other characters in particular to get together.

I'm not really a shipper fan and the whole concept is weird to me...the story goes where the story goes and changing it in your head or even in writing won't change the original (and, for those that don't know what shipping is, you take your two favorite characters, mush up their names, and create your own love stories based on those characters, aka Rump-Belle, Captain Swan, etc). And I thought I was paranoid and controlling! The shippers of the world take their character mash-ups VERY seriously and get offended if they don't get what they want (remember the whole Harry-Hermoine versus Ron-Hermoine issue? Even JK herself has come out and publicly said Harry and Hermoine should have been together...although I still think it was to appease the shippers...if she didn't like the Ron-Hermoine storyline, she shouldn't have wrote it).

Having said that, I am a huge fan of Jane Austen fan fiction, but I typically go for the modern re-tellings rather than the 'continuations of the stories' or the shipper stories. I have a huge collection of Jane Austen-inspired books and movies, but most of them are all modern day retellings. There are notable exceptions, "Lost In Austen" is one of my favorite mini-series of all time. I refused to buy the "Death Comes To Pemberley" books, but I did break down and watch the mini-series and I'm glad I did because I absolutely loved it (even more than the Austenland movie, which I have the book for and really like it...but the movie was lacking and even JJ Feild, our most recent Mr. Tilney, couldn't save it).

But I've gotten off the path I was trying to take here, so back on track...what angers me about the comments flying around today is the fact that people are focusing so much on the shipping aspect of Once, they seem to be missing a huge part of the Wicked Witch of the West/Oz storyline. What did the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, The Lion, and Dorothy all go to see the Wizard for? A heart, a brain, courage, and to go home. An actor wants to leave the show, what better way to tackle one of those quests than the character's death...and let me explain how.

The new curse has brought everyone back to Storybrooke and away from their home in the Enchanted Forest (or whatever land they are from)...aka Dorothy's Oz quest (although that is arguable because some characters prefer Storybrooke to the Enchanted Forest or wherever, so I'm not sure that is the right direction for the home link yet). We learned last week that the Witch took Charming's/David's courage by stealing his broken sword...aka the Lion's quest. She's made numerous comments about Rumple's brain...aka the Scarecrow quest. It makes sense that the best way to get a heart is to kill someone that is loved, ergo the bereaved loses their heart, and which better heart to take than that of a hero...which ties up the heart, aka Tin Man's quest. There still could be another "home" storyline if I'm wrong about the new curse theory and, since Dorothy's answer came from within, they could take it in that direction (maybe Regina finally finding her "home" with the Charmings or Robin Hood for that matter). Considering we're only 17 episodes down for the season and the way everything seems to occur in the last two episodes, there is still time to deal with that aspect (although they've got some explaining to do about where the memory potion for Emma came from, how Hook got out before the second curse hit, and the whole 'Cora is everybody's baby-mama' issues).

Granted, there was another shocking death on another show last week (which I don't watch) that had the internet all abuzz and my OUAT news is very little compared...but OUAT is MY show, so I'm more focused on it. There was also massive publication about Once Upon A Time In Wonderland getting cancelled (which is hilarious to me since it was only meant as a one season show anyway). I do watch Wonderland, but I honestly don't really care for it and I really only watch for OUAT crossovers (that supplement the storyline for OUAT).

Whether or not Wonderland characters will end up in Storybrooke remains to be seen since this series for regular OUAT is already finished. I figure that maybe they could carry over Jafar's character, but I can't see the others making it over and fitting in, especially since Wonderland is occurring in an entirely different time period. And I hope they don't try to do another spin off show because it was a bad idea from the get-go and that whole Neverland storyline suffered from the writer's pulling double duty (half a season of five characters fighting amongst themselves while trying to get through a forest got old after a while). There is a huge difference in OUAT this second part of series 3 versus the first and it almost feels like the first season all over again!

So shipper-obsessed commenters of the Once Upon A Time world...get a grip! The creators/writers have made it quite clear NUMEROUS times that public opinion won't sway their storylines (they apparently didn't change any Lost storylines for shippers, why start now?). It's over, the character is dead, onward and upward (but this is a fairytale world, so I wouldn't 100% rule out his return)! But, if I wanted to take a shipper's opinion, I'm glad the character died last night...they were in the way of another possible relationship that I kind of like the idea of! Where I differ is I'm willing to accept the decision of the writer's and follow the story accordingly. If I decide I don't like where it's going, I'll stop watching it. I've done it before with other shows (although, I have the feeling OUAT will be over long before I get sick of it...that show was made for this little Asper-Disney freak!).

Soapbox dismount...for now! It's time to start preparing for the April A to Z Blogging Challenge!

Once Upon A Time - Once 101

Keeping in theme with my current blog series, I thought it apropos to share with you this YouTube clip. This Sunday starts the new series of Once Upon A Time, and I, for one, can not wait! It's been a very long time since an American show has gotten (and kept) my attention, but this one certainly has because Once was practically made for me - the perfect combination of romance and drama and most importantly, Disney!

ABC.com has a great introduction to the first series with a few major exclusions(for those that haven't seen the first series...it's out on Blu-Ray and DVD now, go get it!). There is no mention of August/Pinocchio, Ruby/Red Riding Hood, Jefferson/The Mad Hatter, Ashley/Cinderella, asylum patient/Belle, or even the dragon/Maleficent (although Red, Belle, and Maleficent in dragon form do show up in the clip). Considering they are an integral part of the storyline, they definitely could have gotten their appropriate screen time if the narrator didn't ramble so much (or even spoke faster).

But without further ado, for those that don't know (and were maybe curious), I give you Once 101, the first series recap:



Series 2 will bring the introduction of my favorite princess, Sleeping Beauty, as well as my favorite prince, Phillip (although Charming is giving him a run for his money after 42 years of Phillip worship-Josh Dallas is a total hottie and you can't deny his chemistry with Ginnifer Goodwin, it's so obvious these two were gonna end up together in real life too!). But, back to the Sleeping Beauty plot, Phil's travelling companion on his quest to find Aurora happens to be none other than Mulan. Possible love triangle there maybe? They better not screw with my princess and her man!! It's been hard enough dealing with the whole Kathryn/Abigail, daughter of Midas, triangle! But the good news with this storyline is that Maleficent is coming back and more Maleficent is always good! Plus, I'd love to see her Storybrooke counterpart!

On other character fronts, Captain Hook arrives to put a kink in Mr. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin's plans (as well as a love/hate interest for Regina/The Evil Queen-and a possible intro to Peter maybe?), but old Rumple might just be too distracted to care now that he has his Belle back! Jefferson/The Mad Hatter is back for a little Emma interaction (I'm still waiting for the promised return of Graham/The Huntsman, but considering Jennifer Morrison and Sebastian Stan are a rumored real life couple as well, bet we see that relationship blossom, if she can get past his loony side that is!).

Then there will be the introduction of other fairy tale characters like Jack and the Giant, Sir Lancelot, and promised others. And finally, toward the end of the series we are promised Ariel and Jasmine (which also means Jafar and considering how much they kept showing the genie lamp in Mr. Gold's shop, it was apparent that it had more of an importance than Sidney/the Genie/Magic Mirror guy's home away from home!). I've also heard rumors of Chernabog! Wonder what he'd look like in human form!

Supposedly we are gonna learn who Henry's biological dad is (anyone want to put money on Baelfire, Rumple's son?), or maybe it's another character (maybe Peter Pan?), but you can almost bet, it will be a fairy tale character. And speaking of Rumple and Bael, we might just find out who/where Bael is (which makes him the perfect candidate for Henry's dad...he arrived in some world - probably ours - before the curse was even created, so he should be able to leave Storybrooke like August/Pinocchio and Emma, ergo, Emma could have met him anywhere else she ever lived). But then again, she described Henry's dad as immature and fickle...perfect Peter Pan territory...could the secret wife of her baby-daddy be Wendy?).

I'm really hoping for more villains (OK, I'm REALLY hoping for more Maleficent), but I'd like to see Regina/The Evil Queen not be so prevalent, give someone else a chance to be bad! Disney has an enormous bulk of villains to choose from (Hades, Hades, Hades, did I mention Hades?)!

I don't mind the mixing of other fairy tales, but the whole Lancelot storyline bugs me and I'm not sure why yet. Probably like the whole Midas and Siren storylines. For some reason Ruby/Red fits in, but Kathryn/Abigail was always the odd man out. We'll just have to see on that one.

There were storylines left hanging, namely the whole what happened to Ashley/Cinderella's prince/Sean? Who took him by the wishing well? Is he in Regina/The Evil Queen's asylum/dungeon as well? Has the Blue Fairy/Mother Superior known all along who she was, and if so, why didn't she help? Who is Dr. Whale? What happened to Jefferson/The Mad Hatter after Mary Margaret/Snow White pushed him out the window? Did the hat work, and if it did, does that mean that Emma is magical? Will Belle really be able to love Mr. Gold/Rumple or when he does finally find Baelfire, will she fall for Bael instead? Will Kathryn/Abigail get together with her true love now that everyone is awake? How did Snow and Charming overthrow King George and the Evil Queen back in fairy tale land? Now that magic is back, what about August/Pinocchio? Will he go back to being a hunk of live man, a living puppet or is he still a "hunk" of wood in his room at Granny's Inn?

But the biggest question/twist of all...how will Emma deal with the fact that Snow White and Prince Charming are her parents? Will her friendship with Mary Margaret and David be enough to make her forget her horrible parentless upbringing in foster care? And what about Mary Margaret and David? They not only have a daughter the same age they are, but also a 10 year old grandson! And will Emma be able to forgive August/Pinocchio for leaving her in the orphanage in the first place instead of keeping his promise to take care of her?

Confused yet? Trust me, if you've never seen it, the pieces won't start to fall together until the final few episodes, so be prepared for a wild ride and the occasional amazing kiss between Mary Margaret/Snow and David/Charming (Charming sounds so much better than James! Who came up with the prince's names anyway? James for Charming and Thomas for Ella's? Seriously?).

But I do have one major suggestion, bring in Rapunzel and Flynn, but just make sure Zachary Levi plays the Storybrooke Flynn...how cool will that be! And please, oh please, give me some Hades (have I mentioned Hades yet?)!!! Maybe even a touch of Meg (my second favorite Disney "princess") and Hercules! And what about some sidekicks? Almost every villain had a sidekick! Give us Pain and Panic and Iago and Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed!!

Enough for now, I stayed up too late and tomorrow/today is my B-day and I'm gonna do squat all day long! Besides, I could obsess about this show forever! Maybe another Once Upon A Time marathon is in order! Who's with me?