School and Stitching, Stitching and School

Well, I went to classes, and they actually weren't so bad. Technically, they went pretty well, but then again, it WAS only the first week. I settled into to Precalculus a bit TOO well, which either means I'm gonna ace that class, or I'm going to get TOO comfortable and stop trying and then my grades will drop.

Programming, at least so far, has been a bit rough, but I knew that was coming. She started on Monday with assigning us 45 vocabulary definitions to memorize by Wednesday, only 5 of which was on the quiz. Not nice. Same this week and, apparently, same every week. She likes her vocab. And C++ is a strange programming language. I don't get seven lines of code and two lines of execution just to say "Hello World!" when, in Python, it was just one line and run. The logic of all of that extra crap will be hard for me to deal with. I was a nervous wreck by the end of lab, but that's nothing new. I had that same issue last semester.

But what didn't go well was the fact that my daily annoying little dull headaches have started back...the ones that started way before I got diagnosed with my migraines. I stopped by my doctor's office and, like everyone else, they think it's just because I'm not used to getting up early and they will fade as I get adjusted, but I think they are wrong. I am NOT a morning person, never have been, never will be. This is now week 2 and the headaches are still here.

I should have studied and done my homework this weekend, but instead, when my head wasn't pounding, I stitched. I kept saying I would only stitch for a few hours, then work on homework, but I do have control issues and when I start something, it's hard for me to stop. I said I would only stitch on Saturday, but the first thing I started Sunday morning with Snow and Charming again with the intention of homework come Sunday night, but again, it was an all-day event and by Sunday night, by head was hurting bad enough, I even had to stop stitching. Thank goodness Monday is a school holiday, so at least I can get my homework done tonight (hopefully). I left off here last week on the Charmings:

And obviously, with an all-weekend headache and only two days of stitching, I didn't get very far, but I figure every little bit counts, so here's where I ended up:

If I can manage some self control (somehow) and some weekend stitching (with some homework built in), maybe I can finish the Charmings come the end of the semester. We'll see.

But this whole headache thing has got me wondering again why I'm putting myself through all this. If I would have had a working printer at home Sunday night, I would have just printed off the University Withdrawal form, filled it out and emailed it back it in one whack. Luckily, I got a text from my school friend and she talked me out of it (temporarily), but I'm still considering it today. I have to make my decision soon before my loan money hits my account (I guess that's the ONLY good thing about the government shut down...it's delayed financial aid payments, but still, this whole situation is BEYOND ridiculous, all over a bloody wall...let it go Biff!).

I also had a couple conversations with my advisor about changing majors...she doesn't want me to. She thinks I'm where I'm supposed to be. My disability officer agrees and she even thinks that I'm just scared with doing things outside of my comfort zone, even though I usually always succeed and she gave me the "lecture" about how stepping outside that zone is worth it because it proves my abilities are strong when I do succeed. But what I had to explain to her is yes, that is true, but the discomfort and sometimes physical and mental torment that it takes for me to get through it to that success is often not worth the benefits of the reward and I often don't even want to deal with the reward afterwards because it was such an ordeal to obtain. For me, at least, the benefits don't outweigh the struggle. I'm not sure she understood that.

So right now, I'm not sure what to do. I guess I'll go home, do homework, go to class tomorrow, and see how it goes. Get up Wednesday and do the same. Maybe, before I know it, it will be May and I'll have the summer off to REALLY think about what I want to do. But then again, an entire summer off might not be a good idea, but since I have to pay for summer classes out of pocket, and I need new tires and possibly new brakes...classes are out of the question. Here's hoping this doesn't end up another semester of whiny blog posts, but rather good school news and still cross stitch posts, eh?