I HATE the DisBoards!!

Still haven't heard anybody's ideas for handling my Disney pictures on Flickr...no one has anything?

On another front, I HATE the DisBoards. I've been a member of the Disney online community for as long as there has been a Disney online community and I'm on more boards than I care to admit (although rarely ever post, only read). What better way for an anti-social person to communicate with like-minded people! Granted, I tend to only frequent message boards when I'm planning a trip, but I'm still a card-carrying member. However, for the past several years, the DisBoards have been getting filled with more and more hateful people. You can't post anything without offending anyone and it seems like everyone else's mission is to offend you. And, when you have that many varying opinions and levels of dedication to something, there is bound to be conflict (and, half the DisBoard members have to be under 12, or so they act...they really need to set age limits like most boards do).

On a rare whim today, after reading a particularly desperate plea for help with character interactions by a social anxiety sufferer, I felt the need to chime in...after all, between the SAD, OCD, and Asperger's, I'm a wealth of information on how to handle such things! I took my time composing said post, laying out my details and how I handle said situations, and felt I had the perfect post when I hit the 'submit post' button.

It took all of five minutes for some jerk to make fun of me for my issues (or at least that is how I took it...judge for yourself HERE - I start on page 2). I don't know if they missed the part where I explained why I am the way I am or not, but my Asper-girl self kicked in and posted a response (I wish I could control my temper sometimes). I was more tactile than they were, but I'm still now checking the damn boards every two seconds for a response (which is why I figured I'd post about it here...to whine away from the prying DisBoard eyes, to force myself to do something else than obsess about the stupid idiot, oh, and to get the last word in).

And people wonder why I'm anti-social, because I don't want to deal with people like that EVER! I would normally say "soapbox dismount" at this point, but I'm still teetering on the edge of it and can't quite step off just yet.

Ugh...the internet!

Yes, I know I'm extremely opinionated, often to the point of obsession (you could blame either the Aspergers or OCD for that). That's why I typically don't read comments about things I love because I tend to get quite upset sometimes (and I NEVER post comments anymore because I often get into a cyber war). But, because of the events last night, I've found myself scouring the web more than once today for more information and, since my blog is for my big mouth, I thought it best to post my comment here instead on numerous boards and websites (my anger level is pretty high right now). And it's been a while since I stepped on my very high soapbox, so here I go!

Those that watch Once Upon A Time (the only American show I watch regularly and actually like) got a shock last night, a major character died (and that's all I'm saying because you may not have watched the episode yet). OUAT fans knew it was coming, the creators told us in January a major character was leaving the show, we just didn't know which one. Yet the backlash on the news stories today has been atrocious to say the least, mainly because most people think the creators are pandering to the shippers of the OUAT community by making sure the pathway is clear for two other characters in particular to get together.

I'm not really a shipper fan and the whole concept is weird to me...the story goes where the story goes and changing it in your head or even in writing won't change the original (and, for those that don't know what shipping is, you take your two favorite characters, mush up their names, and create your own love stories based on those characters, aka Rump-Belle, Captain Swan, etc). And I thought I was paranoid and controlling! The shippers of the world take their character mash-ups VERY seriously and get offended if they don't get what they want (remember the whole Harry-Hermoine versus Ron-Hermoine issue? Even JK herself has come out and publicly said Harry and Hermoine should have been together...although I still think it was to appease the shippers...if she didn't like the Ron-Hermoine storyline, she shouldn't have wrote it).

Having said that, I am a huge fan of Jane Austen fan fiction, but I typically go for the modern re-tellings rather than the 'continuations of the stories' or the shipper stories. I have a huge collection of Jane Austen-inspired books and movies, but most of them are all modern day retellings. There are notable exceptions, "Lost In Austen" is one of my favorite mini-series of all time. I refused to buy the "Death Comes To Pemberley" books, but I did break down and watch the mini-series and I'm glad I did because I absolutely loved it (even more than the Austenland movie, which I have the book for and really like it...but the movie was lacking and even JJ Feild, our most recent Mr. Tilney, couldn't save it).

But I've gotten off the path I was trying to take here, so back on track...what angers me about the comments flying around today is the fact that people are focusing so much on the shipping aspect of Once, they seem to be missing a huge part of the Wicked Witch of the West/Oz storyline. What did the Tin Man, the Scarecrow, The Lion, and Dorothy all go to see the Wizard for? A heart, a brain, courage, and to go home. An actor wants to leave the show, what better way to tackle one of those quests than the character's death...and let me explain how.

The new curse has brought everyone back to Storybrooke and away from their home in the Enchanted Forest (or whatever land they are from)...aka Dorothy's Oz quest (although that is arguable because some characters prefer Storybrooke to the Enchanted Forest or wherever, so I'm not sure that is the right direction for the home link yet). We learned last week that the Witch took Charming's/David's courage by stealing his broken sword...aka the Lion's quest. She's made numerous comments about Rumple's brain...aka the Scarecrow quest. It makes sense that the best way to get a heart is to kill someone that is loved, ergo the bereaved loses their heart, and which better heart to take than that of a hero...which ties up the heart, aka Tin Man's quest. There still could be another "home" storyline if I'm wrong about the new curse theory and, since Dorothy's answer came from within, they could take it in that direction (maybe Regina finally finding her "home" with the Charmings or Robin Hood for that matter). Considering we're only 17 episodes down for the season and the way everything seems to occur in the last two episodes, there is still time to deal with that aspect (although they've got some explaining to do about where the memory potion for Emma came from, how Hook got out before the second curse hit, and the whole 'Cora is everybody's baby-mama' issues).

Granted, there was another shocking death on another show last week (which I don't watch) that had the internet all abuzz and my OUAT news is very little compared...but OUAT is MY show, so I'm more focused on it. There was also massive publication about Once Upon A Time In Wonderland getting cancelled (which is hilarious to me since it was only meant as a one season show anyway). I do watch Wonderland, but I honestly don't really care for it and I really only watch for OUAT crossovers (that supplement the storyline for OUAT).

Whether or not Wonderland characters will end up in Storybrooke remains to be seen since this series for regular OUAT is already finished. I figure that maybe they could carry over Jafar's character, but I can't see the others making it over and fitting in, especially since Wonderland is occurring in an entirely different time period. And I hope they don't try to do another spin off show because it was a bad idea from the get-go and that whole Neverland storyline suffered from the writer's pulling double duty (half a season of five characters fighting amongst themselves while trying to get through a forest got old after a while). There is a huge difference in OUAT this second part of series 3 versus the first and it almost feels like the first season all over again!

So shipper-obsessed commenters of the Once Upon A Time world...get a grip! The creators/writers have made it quite clear NUMEROUS times that public opinion won't sway their storylines (they apparently didn't change any Lost storylines for shippers, why start now?). It's over, the character is dead, onward and upward (but this is a fairytale world, so I wouldn't 100% rule out his return)! But, if I wanted to take a shipper's opinion, I'm glad the character died last night...they were in the way of another possible relationship that I kind of like the idea of! Where I differ is I'm willing to accept the decision of the writer's and follow the story accordingly. If I decide I don't like where it's going, I'll stop watching it. I've done it before with other shows (although, I have the feeling OUAT will be over long before I get sick of it...that show was made for this little Asper-Disney freak!).

Soapbox dismount...for now! It's time to start preparing for the April A to Z Blogging Challenge!

Re-introduce Myself Blogfest

Today is the Re-introduce Myself Blogfest, a chance for new followers to discover the madness that is me!

I've told parts of my story a lot, so most of you aren't strangers to it. I started this blog after my withdraw from Facebook, as a way to still be social, but without having to read about the lives of people I went to high school with (who I didn't care about then, much less now). I wanted to share my stitching progress, brag about my pup, mercilessly plug Walt Disney World and pretty much all things Disney, as well as describe what it's like as an adult with Asperger's, OCD, and Social Anxiety Disorder. I think I've pretty much managed to beat all those topics into the ground with vigor, but that's what an Asper-girl does...I don't love much, but what I do love gets 200% of my heart and soul!

Not long after starting my blog, it was discovered I have a left temporal lobe meningioma (a benign brain tumor). I named the tumor after my two least favorite bosses and, upon occasion, you will see mention of Ferg-id and his evil plot to make my brain explode! I've been able to share my experiences with Ferg-id as well as my constant struggle with severe migraines (well, actually, I just whine a lot about not being able to stitch or blog because my head hurts or because I'm doped to the hilt).

I do participate in a couple of different blogging events, most of which are stitch related, but I'm very selective about the kinds of blogging events I join. I am, after all, a social-phobe, and every "public" event I join has consequences with my psyche. I'd like to say that blogging has helped me socially, but it really hasn't. I force social interaction because I know it's "good" for me, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. At least with blogging it's all about me versus Facebook which was all about everyone else. I have, however, made a couple of really good friends who I hope will stick with me long after my blogging career has ended!

I mainly post about stitching, but every once in a while I jump on my extremely high soapbox and mouth until I feel better. I wish I could say I regret a lot of my soapbox rants because I have been known to hurt the occasional friend, but that would be a lie (when the powers that be were giving out empathy and compassion, I must have either been in another line or on a plane to Disney). I have been known to do the occasional review or two about a favorite British television show or a band, but those are typically few and far between.

That's basically all there is to me and my blog! I'm extremely opinionated, offensive at times, self-absorbed, passionate to a fault, but immensely loyal and dedicated to the things that matter most to me as long as they are loyal back. I just realized...I'm a female Mr. Darcy (well, without the fortune, I'm as poor as a mouse). "My good opinion once lost is lost forever" pretty much sums me up in a nutshell!

The importance of a backup

First off, I'd like to say this will be a short post, but when have my soapboxes ever been short! Some things just need length to get your point across (OK, so maybe they don't, but I gotta get it out somehow, Zachary didn't have too much sympathy for me when I tried to explain the situation to him this weekend, but he is, afterall, a puppy). But alas, on with the show...

We take a lot of things for granted when it comes to computers; they will never get viruses, they will always do what their told, they will always work correctly until we decide to replace them, etc (hey, am I talking about computers or humans here?). We all have a love/hate relationship with our computers most times leaning heavily toward one of the spectrum or the other.

Most of us (and I'm probably being kind here) take care of our computers with virus software, anti-malware and anti-spyware programs, and we run cleanup programs occasionally with deep cleaning once every quarter or so (if you're not, don't tell me, or I'll jump on another soapbox). But it always surprises me the number of people who don't perform routine backups (or even random ones).

One of my bosses got his rude awakening last week. His Macbook Pro crashed completely and, as per usual, it comes to me with the explicit instruction of "fix it". "Fixing it" is not always possible. Sometimes you can repair an operating system and all will be well again. Sometimes you just have to reformat the entire puppy and restore their files from their backup. Sometimes the hard drive has to be replaced, but again, files can be retrieved from a backup. The worst possible scenario is that you'll just have to get a new computer, in which case, having your files backed up means you can just transfer them to your new one.

The first question I asked was, "Is your backup handy?". He didn't have one, never had done one. He knew he should have been doing one, but just hadn't gotten around to it yet (the laptop is two years old). Ugh.

I first explained he might want to take it to the Apple store to see if they can retrieve his files. He didn't want to do that since the store is about an hour away. So I explained that there is a good possibility that I would have to reformat his computer which basically means it will be restored back to the original factory settings and he would loose everything, but I would try my best to get what I could off, no promises. I also explained the importance of backups in situations such as these and the simple act of doing one could have saved his files. "Just do what you have to do"...never trust your boss when he says this.

The more I dinked with it, the worse it got. It definitely wasn't a hard drive issue, but the OS repair wasn't working and it was becoming more and more apparent the only option available was reformatting and factory restore. Since I'm relatively new to Macs, I did call Apple Care and had them talk me through a couple of additional steps, but they soon came to the same conclusion as me, it was a lost cause and nothing could be done. Even they couldn't get me to the files so I could maybe pull them off a different way and the tech assured me the store could do no better.

I reformatted the computer. It is a heck of a lot easier to do with Mac than a PC, that's for sure (it also helped that he had Snow Leopard, so he had his disks - I hate the fact that computer manufacturers no longer ship disks, easier for them maybe, but a heck of a lot harder on us - but that's another soapbox for another day). So, within an hour, he had a base system all up and completely updated (which I did out of the kindness of my little black heart, I could have left that for him to do).

Since I had the all-clear from the get-go (remember "just do what you have to do"?, Yeah, this is where it bites me in the butt). I called the boss, told him the bad news and what I had to do, to which I get "Well can you still get my files off?, Can you still save my emails?, What about my music?". Dude, seriously? Look up screwed in the dictionary and there is your pic (OK, I didn't say this to him, but if looks could talk and be seen through a phone line...).

The moral of this little story is this: go to Amazon or Wal-Mart or wherever and buy a backup hard drive. It might cost you $100, but how much are your family photos worth? Or your entire music library you spent months creating from your CD's? Or that email from a friend you've saved for years because she died not long after sending it?

There are plenty of free software programs out there and the newer version of Windows comes with its own backup program (as well as the fact that most new hard drives come with their own software-even though they mainly all suck).

I go one step beyond (well several actually), I have an actual copy of Picture, Music, Document, and Video files dragged and dropped to my backup drive (I actually have two separate backup drives and alternate them as well, the power of OCD), just in case the backup fails. I have actually had this happen, so all I had to do was reformat and dragged and dropped the files back into their proper location. Plus, if you had a virus, chances are your backup was infected as well and all you would be doing is restoring your infected files back on and you could end up going through the whole process again.

It's also always easier to transfer specific files you know you want to a new computer versus transferring from machine to machine or from an old backup. With transfer or backup you are just dumping junk over as well, clogging up your new machine.

If you have a PC, most backup hard drives will accommodate them just fine, Macs need a drive that is Mac compatible (some drives will handle both on the same drive, but don't count on this). And don't worry about how much room they take up on your already overcrowded desk, they are not the external drives of old and can be quite small now.

Make sure you get one several sizes larger than the actual used space on your computer (i.e., if you've used 200GB, a 1TB hard drive would be a good size, whereas, if you've used about 30GB, a 250GB would be more than enough, but allow room for growth since the size of your used hard drive space will grow over the life of your computer. Don't splurge on a 3TB drive because your computer might have a 1TB drive in it unless you are using every bit of that 1TB (which the general population doesn't).

You don't have backup constantly unless you are doing important work 24/7 (and not doing it constantly prevents infections getting embedded in the backups). I only do one every month, or sooner if I do a major project. Plus, I also use USB Flash Drives for short-term storage (since these aren't reliable). Some programs do incremental backups every day (meaning it only alters the files that changed from the last backup). I'm not a big fan of this since incrementals can be corrupted easily. I just do a full manual backup whenever I feel the need. Some people may need the structure of "scheduled backups" and that's fine, just make sure you actually let them run when scheduled.

You'll also want to remember that, depending on the amount of used space you have on your computers, backups could take quite a while. I use about 500GB of my home drive and a full backup takes about 4 hours with another few hours for verification (I use EaseUS at home, it's free and easy). So make the time to let it run without bother. And you will also want to temporarily disable sleep mode or hard drive shut down after a certain amount of time (and I also stop the screen saver because it slows down the backup). Most backups will stop when the computer goes into sleep mode or will slow down considerably due to a screensaver. The problem with this is you come back after 8 hours expecting it to be done only to discover it's barely started because it went to sleep.

Backups are as important as running virus scans, in my opinion. Most of us can't afford to go out and buy a new computer because we got a virus, or because our hard drive crashes. So why not take that little extra step of backing up? Think of it as life insurance for your personal files! Don't whine or cry about what you lost to the techs trying to help you, after all, it is YOUR fault you didn't do backups even if it may not be your fault your computer isn't working. Their job is to try to get your files back, but if it can't be done, their job is to get you running again. Be thankful if they can achieve that much!

Soapbox dismount.

The Suddenly Kate Show-A Blog Response

I only have two besties in the world...one of which is Kate over at The Suddenly Kate Show and Momuboocrea Island. On her Suddenly blog today, she wrote an essay on blogging here. Her post today threw me back a bit. I felt guilty (an almost unheard of emotion for me) for not commenting more since I'm there all the time. I also felt angry that such an amazing talent is questioning her stories over the lack of comments she is getting. I started to respond with a comment, but soon realized that it was getting way too long, so I decided to post a blog response instead. So, sorry Katy, this won't be pleasant for either of us, but has to be done. You ARE loved immensely and must be told in the harshest terms possible since I know no other way. If I misunderstood the meaning of your post, forgive me and cease reading any further.

Most of you are aware of my social issues and my Asperger's, I am selfish, self-centered, egotistical, extremely opinionated, yet clinically shy and extremely social-phobic at the same time...basically, there is no gray in my world, only black and white speckles of mush. I like few and love even less.

I started blogging from a disillusionment with Facebook. I didn't want to read random bible verses from people who I knew didn't have a religious bone in their body and I sure as heck didn't care that so-and-so is eating breakfast. After Facebook tried to steal my credit card info, I dropped it and haven't looked back since.

My friend Vickie at Reading and Stitching had a blog and I liked the thought of spilling my guts in my own personal world. On a blog you can give your opinion freely, anonymously if you so choose, without having to listen to that of others. You want another opinion, go to another blog and read one, it's not forced into your world unless you want it to be. When it's no longer fun, you can stop. If you don't want to post, then don't. Your blog will still be there (even if your followers aren't) whenever you're ready to return.

I've had followers come and go, some only come to look at my stitching progress, some come out of a sense of duty (which is totally not necessary), others come out of sheer curiosity at what rant I'm blubbering this week. Few people comment, most don't. Sometimes I comment back, sometimes I don't. It's that simple.

One would never know I grew up as a graphic artist. Artists are generally the worlds worst at needing validation and praise. After all, a true artist puts their heart and soul into their work. They ARE their work and therefore validation is not only praising the work, but the artist themselves. People need validation and I often forget that, since I'm not built that way. My heart and soul lives on my outsides, no need for me to rip them out, they are there for all to see (even if they are covered with an impenetrable shell of pure adamantium).

Enough about me ('bout time, right?)...Katy is my polar opposite. She's kind and caring, goes to extremes to not offend and writes to make others happy, not just herself. She is the type of person that gets noticed when she enters a room and makes a point to leave a smile on every face she passes. It causes her distress to upset others and she often suppresses her opinion because of it. People don't impress me in general, but she impresses the hell out of me and probably always will! I want to be her when I grow up (except stitching, and sorry Kate, that privilege is reserved for Joysze).

Kate's post today kicked my teeth in and made me realize that I suck as a friend because I know that I should be commenting on her stories. I take it for granted that she doesn't know I'm on her blog(s) all the time and reading every little inch. Most times I read her stories on the fly, get pulled away, and never make it back to comment, or I'm basically just too lazy to comment. Besides, how many times can you say, "great job!", "loved it!" without looking like a total knob-head? Saying it too many times just makes it seem like I'm not really paying attention or doing it out of loyalty (aka, her mum point).

But at the same time, I seriously wanted to slap her silly for caring about the opinions of others in the first place! Have I taught you nothing, my dearest? Write for the love of writing, write because you have something to say, write because you simply need to get it out, write because you are extremely talented! The opinion of others means nothing in the overall scheme of "you" and your artistry. Who cares if someone likes or doesn't like your stories, what matters is that you have stories to tell and your blog is your way to get them out(and thank goodness for the rest of us that you choose to bless us with them!).

Maybe there are others like me (*gasp*) who read and love you, but who just as lazy and self-centered? Is it my fault you can't see the ginormous smile on my face after being swept away to your world through my monitor screen? Maybe I should be pissed that you don't think you should be writing for MY sheer enjoyment!

So no more questioning your amazing talent Katy...don't make me come across the pond and slap you...I'll do it!! Even worse, I'll bring Zachary with me and have him give you the four paw slap! Merge your blogs, keep them separate, start a new one, just don't stop because you can't feel the love, it's there, trust me!

Love Ya Katy, Mean It. Soapbox dismount.

Decision made

Well, all my work on the redo of the Breast Cancer project was in vain. I gave the person it was made for the choice between the two, the first simple version and the second linen and silk version, and she chose the first version. I'm still gonna give her both of them, but only get the first one framed for her (since framing cost a fortune...if this wasn't such a weird shape, I'd just frame it myself like I always have before, but this will require the professional touch).

I'm not too terribly bummed, because, like I said in previous posts, it was a learning experience with the linen and the silk thread, but at the same time, ugh. It cost an absolute fortune getting the thread and the material together (as well as the time it took ordering it from different vendors because the color wasn't right). The money spent on the redo would more than pay for the framing. I've spent months avoiding this puppy like the plaque because I didn't want to work on it, putting me majorly behind on my "real" projects, and when I did work on it, I ended up frogging more than I ever have in my whole life because I wasn't paying close enough attention.

So why do I keep doing projects for others? Every time I finish one I say "never again", but I always end up doing it again. Yes, I know I didn't have to redo the Breast Cancer project in the first place and I could have left it the way it was. I was so unhappy with the original, it wasn't up to my standards and I knew I could do better, and in the end, I did do much better, but apparently, the recipient disagreed. Should I be offended at that, or am I just looking for excuses to be mad? (which is not out of character for me...I like something and I expect the rest of the world to agree). Maybe I'm a lot more bummed than I thought I was.

This reminds me of the projects I did for people when they got married/had a kid, which is now probably sitting in most of their attics (or worse, "got lost in a move"...yeah, I've actually been told that...at least lie to me and say you preserved it as a treasured family heirloom!). One project in particular always causes the burr in my side to act up - I was actually asked to stitch a Noah's Ark project (because their baby's room was Noah themed). I spend forever picking the right design, spent her entire pregnancy working on it, framed it for her, the works (besides the fact I'm not really religious and I always seem to get wrangled into doing religious projects). Her daughter is now 13 or 14 and I asked her about a year ago what ever happened to that project. Her answer? "Oh, I have no clue what we did with that thing". Yes, those were her exact words. After I managed to pick my jaw off the floor (which doesn't happen to me often), my exact words back can't be repeated in polite company!

I think I need to say "never again" and mean it. No matter who asks or how important it may be to them...I'm going to just give into my Asper side and say it will be all about me from now on!!

Soapbox dismount...but not without a bit of hurt pride this time 'round!

Updates (or lack thereof)

I am a horrible blogger, a horrible stitcher, and a horrible friend (or at least it seems that way lately!). I have been holed up in my house just vegging. Post-Disney Depression still lives large in me.

But I do have a major rant. Since starting my new position, I've been super busy with cleaning up everything and getting everything back on track (my predecessors didn't have the time and very important things got left on the side of the road, some for several years). Plus, the added "bonus" (torture is more like it) of covering my old job when the transcriptionist is off (my punishment this week and part of next) on top of my real duties.

One of my big new projects has been setting up the billing office with new computers (10 in all). The process started out very smoothly, until I hit the first major snag, one computer was infected with a virus that copied over to the new computer. Easily enough fixed, but I started being more careful and started scanning the old ones first (which I probably should have been doing in the first place).

Everyone else turned out pretty much ok (well fixable), but one old computer was so infected, I have no clue how it was still running! I have NEVER seen a computer so infected and I've been working on computers for family and friends for a very long time (even more infected than the person who regularly surfs porn, and theirs is usually pretty bad). 17 virus, 56 trojans and more pups and tracking cookies than I care to mention (although they are usually side effects of browsing anyway, but they should be cleaned upon occasion...well over 15,000 is just too friggin much!).

How do you manage to get into such nasty stuff at work? I have regularly throughout the years removed toolbar after toolbar and "coupon-this" and "coupon-that" from this particular terminal, but they always get put back on, no matter how much this person gets told to stop it. I have no power in that arena, it's up to the billing manager.

Why don't people who spend their entire workday working on computers know more about them than they do? They can do enough to get through their job, but other than that, they are computer illiterate. It should be a requirement that anyone who works on a computer at least has the basic knowledge to know what is safe and what is not and what to download and what to not and when to open and email and when to not and even how to clean up their own machine. You don't drive a car without a license, why not have to take a "computer test" to make sure you're computer literate enough to operate one?

Granted, even the most diligent of people sometimes get viruses (I haven't ever, but it is a possibility and I'm always prepared for it). I personally have had my email hacked a couple times throughout the years, but again, that happens to the best of us. I don't limit my internet browsing at work...I don't do anything at work that I don't do at home and I'm always safe, so again I ask, what in Hades could this person have been doing to get so infected? Are they secretly coming up on the weekends to surf porn?

We have new virus software that has a control panel, and my answer was to jack up the security settings so high, they can't do any damage. But after the first day and receiving dozens of calls because they can't get here or do this, I dropped it back down until I can put in a list of safe sites, but until that moment comes, how much damage will be done? At the same time, these are adults...they shouldn't have to have their computers "child-proofed"!! And the person in question is managerial level as it is (which means they should know better than anybody).

I've actually stepped away from that particular computer for the past couple of days...I just can't bring myself to face it. Those computers are old (running XP) and slower than Christmas (one person's takes a full 17 minutes to go from boot to a fully loaded user). It took over 6 hours just to run one scan and one scan is never enough to remove all the viruses. I will probably just end up copying their files over one at a time instead of transferring them all to prevent further infection (yet another reason I can't face it).

The person in question isn't too worried that they are so infected...I saw this person Christmas shopping online just yesterday (yeah, on a computer loaded with viruses, let's put in our credit card numbers, shall we? Stupid much?).

OK, I'm gonna soapbox dismount now...but this issue is not over, not by a long shot! If I have it my way, no one (well, no one but me...it is a Woot-off this week after all) will be doing anything on their computers but working!! Nor will their be no phone charging, iPod playing, USB drive usage...basically, my inner Grinch is about to be all up in this place!!

Just a quick note

I've had to up my comment security settings due to the high quantity of spam comments. I originally lowered it when Blogger changed to word verification (just because it's so bloody annoying) and because of the A to Z Challenge. At first, it really wasn't a problem, but now, it's just getting too bad. I've got it on the lowest setting, just for registered users, but since I don't see what you guys see on my comment section, I hope it's not too terrible! Sorry guys!

A letter to my 14 year-old self

I don't know if you guys have been watching The Conversation with Amanda de Cadenet, but you should! Amanda (who just happens to be John Taylor from Duran Duran's ex-wife and mother of his oldest daughter, Atlanta) basically just sits in the living rooms of famous women and interviews them. It's very personal and honest and women I never really liked, I have a better understanding of (even if I still don't like them, i.e. Gwyneth Paltrow). But, at the end of the interview, she asks a couple of rapid fire questions (one of which being what is your favorite sexual position...and trust me, some people give away too much information, i.e. Jane Fonda saying that doggie doesn't work for her anymore because of her knee replacement!). The question that always intrigues me most is "what would you tell your 14 year-old self?".

I've pondered this question a bit, but not nearly as seriously as I did today when Darren Hayes (one of the loves of my life), posted a letter on his Facebook page to his 15 year-old self in celebration of his 40th Birthday, and in typical Darren fashion, it's bloody brilliant!

Darren's letter

So, I've decided to write myself a letter...I actually haven't thought about the wording of this, so what's about to happen is freestyle and pretty unpredictable, so there is no telling how it's gonna turn out!

Dear 14 year-old Keebs
(and yes, as 41 year-old woman, people still refer to you by your nickname),

I know I shouldn't give you clues about the future, but I'm going to anyway...just in case the altering time theory is true, I'd love a little (or even a lot) of alteration, or at least be able to learn sooner about myself so that I can spare myself numerous years of struggle!

First off, I know it's easy to say and harder to put into practice, but please stop thinking that you are alone in the world. I know you feel like the world is against you and the very thought of it is eating away at you, but it's because people don't understand you (and most never will). The condition you have hasn't really got a name yet, but don't worry, you're not crazy (and neither is the rest of the world), there is a medical reason why you are the way you are and you will learn to deal with it, better than most people actually, once you start trusting yourself.

I promise that you will learn that the opinion of others is completely irrelevant in the overall scheme of your existence, and trying so hard to gain acceptance is what is doing your head in! You're not meant to be part of society, at least not the society you currently find yourself trapped in. The struggles you face with dealing with your weirdness, aren't really struggles at all...embrace the weird! It will be your making! But do keep learning how to control your ticks in public, that will be an invaluable trait when you are older and keeps you slightly ahead of the others with your condition (yes, I told you you're not crazy, there are others like you, believe it or not!).

Which brings up another point...stop treating Am so badly! She'll be the only person you can count on in your future! It was never her fault that Mother and Gary stopped looking at you the same way...Mother can't see past pleasing the men in her life and your step-dad only cares about the bloodline, blame the sources, not the catalyst of the change in their treatment of you. Yes, I know you ceased to exist the day she arrived and you've been acting out ever since, but look at it more as you can finally start living in your head, which you so desperately need to do for your sanity instead of throwing tantrums to get the attention drawn away from her. You're head is a wonderful magical place and you're going to be spending a lot of time in it!

Your tantrums never work, by the way (or BTW as we say now), and I wish I could say that you eventually stop them, but I can't...you still have your moments. You will eventually learn that Am will always be prettier, smarter, and just plain cooler than you. If you have moments where you still feel jealous as hell about it, that's OK because she has made a life for herself worthy of being jealous over, and I don't THINK she holds it against you!

You've got a tremendous sense of reading people...frickin use it! Stop trying to please certain friends (and you know the ones I mean) because it's useless and they are long gone to you now...one will be gone sooner than you think and you'll realize what a waste of space she was!

The boy who you think you have a crush on (OK, I know, you totally LOVE him), well, to put it bluntly, get over the rat! He never holds down a job and eventually becomes a preacher with fifteen or so kids (or so the rumor mill goes), and he really was never good enough for you anyway (even if you think you're the one not good enough for him)! The other boy you kind of have a crush on (and you know who I mean, the ones you're so-called friends make fun of you for talking to) IS worth your time and becomes a really decent bloke...eventually! Tell your "friends" to hang and like who you wanna like!

Besides, in a couple more years, you're gonna become friends with someone you never thought you would, and you will still be friends to this day (if only through email occasionally, but she still holds a special place in your heart and when you look back on your high school life, her friendship is the only good memory you have). The others will no longer even be on your radar!

And speaking of preachers, it's time to put your foot down and refuse to go to church if you don't want to. Mother forcing you is just making you hate the church altogether, so get out now and start exploring other options (which you will do later in life, but not when you're in a good place spiritually, so it's useless). You can be spiritual without being religious, they are two completely separate demons (so to speak). Read about all the religions and make your own mind up, don't listen to what they are forcing down your throat...there are options out there and the years you spend without your spirituality are some of your darkest!

But moving on, what a very different life you've had compared to what you are expecting. You're not a rich recluse living on your own private island or in the English Countryside, you're a poor recluse stuck not 20 miles from the town you hate so much. The energy you wasted hating your surroundings only ended up hurting you in the end by keeping you trapped in the very place you so despise. I know you feel like you don't belong where you are, and you're right, you never did, but you are there, so focus on getting out instead of dwelling on the fact that you're there! Study harder, focus more on school, realize what you love and focus on that! And go to college away...one of your biggest makes is going to A State.

Yes, I know you spend countless hours drawing and you think that's all your good at (and for), but ask yourself, "does it make you happy?". You already know the answer...no it doesn't. Keep it as a hobby, but don't try to use it to gain the tiny bit of admiration and attention you might get from it. It won't last and it ruins any future you had in it. Your father will not care one iota when you switch majors to Art, in fact, he'll ridicule you for it, even though it was his idea. He's just jealous because he didn't get to finish his architecture degree.

Which leads me on to the next point, the hardest one I'm gonna try make because I know you won't listen...don't try so hard to impress your father, because he won't be there when you need him (and realize he never has been and kick his ass off that pedestal you have him on). And all those promises he's making you, ignore them because he will never come through. He's got his own life and his own family which you ceased to be a part of the second they came into being. I know you think that your step-mom is your friend and you worship the ground she walks on, but look closer at her, you'll see the truth, and the same with your other sisters...you only exist to them when you are in their face and your step-mom will always make sure that her kids come first over you, even if you were there first.

You will spend your entire life pining for your daddy, even after you realize that he's lost to you, and I wish I could make that particular hurt go away, but I can't because I still feel it today as acutely as you do then. It's been five years since I've spoken to him, and not a day goes by that he doesn't pop into my head at least a million times. I haven't yet found the off switch for him in my brain, but one day I will, and maybe if you start looking now, I might be able to find it when I get to 42!

In a couple of years you are gonna start a job at a lab that, even though you leave for a while, you will end up working at, probably for the rest of your life! Know that the people you can't stand will become really good friends and the people you really like will be the most hurtful to you. Again, open your eyes...it's written all over their faces!

Oh, and I really shouldn't tell you this, but someone will briefly come to work there that is really hyper because she drinks coffee like a fish and smokes like a chimney, but she will have kids that you will babysit, albeit again briefly...hug one of them a little bit tighter because she will die a very violent death in a school shooting when she's in middle school.

You are beautiful (no matter how big or small you get), you are funny (even if your sense of humor is a bit dark), and you've got an amazing mind (when you choose to use it), no matter what people are gonna tell you (and I know what they say, particularly your step-dad), but don't worry, eventually people will believe how badly he treated you because when you are no longer around, he turns it on them. You won't be able to help the fact that you feel vindicated, but embrace it, it will give you a nice chuckle now and again!

Oh, and stop carving on your wrists with your fingernails in class! People don't care that you're suicidal and we both know you'll never go through with it! Trust me, the problems you have in your twenties and early thirties are far worse than anything you are going through now and the scars of all that carving have practically faded away now. Don't take that bottle of pills you are thinking about taking, because all you're going to do is sleep through the weekend, pee the bed, and wake up bright and early Monday morning just in time to get ready for school! No one noticed you didn't come out of your room for two days anyway!

One other thing, when you are in your late teens, you will start going to a psychic and she will warn you against getting involved with a certain man (even though she'll tell you that you won't listen)...bloody listen to her! You don't need to marry him just for the sake of being married! He will ruin a big chunk of your life and even to this day he will still stalk you! She tells you exactly when he's due to come into your life and you'll only have two weeks from your first visit to her to find another job (because you work with him)...DO IT!! Get away as far and as fast as you can!!

That's about it! I know you won't listen to a thing I've told you, and you might even just do the opposite out of spite, but hey, if you do, then we won't disrupt the universe because things will be exactly the same for me! Just know that even though you think no one loves you...remember that I do and, trust me, I'm enough to get you through a hell of a lot!! To thine own self be true!

xxxooo

PS, when the time comes to do your senior paper...don't let your teacher talk you out of Persuasion and into Wuthering Heights...you'll end up hating it! And definitely have her double check your grammar before you turn it in! She will gladly help you and it will be why you don't get an A++ on content and a D- on your bad grammar. Believe it or not, even at 41 you still regret doing your senior paper on Wuthering Heights!

Well, that's it! I'm not gonna read over this because I may feel too inclined to change things and disrupt the purity of it, but I do issue a challenge for all my fellow bloggers to do the same...write a letter to your 14 year-old self and see what happens!

Oh, and soapbox dismount for today!

What to say when...rants glore!

I got asked a question today that I have been asked before and I'm always reluctant to answer it because people are all different (and boy is that true in my case!)..."we have never been to Disney World, but want to go, can you help?". First off, for the average person, explaining to a complete novice how to do Disney right, would be daunting, but add my Asperger's, OCD, and just general Disney obsessiveness, and it's a monstrous feat! It's incredibly difficult for me to express in layman's terms anyway, but add to that something that I'm incredibly passionate about and it can be (and has been) a recipe for disaster (at least for my practically non-existent social life, I'm isolated enough, no need to scare people off)!

But, being the typical sap that I am, of course I offered to help (well, to be honest, it was more of a chance to show off my Disney knowledge and not really caring a rat's ass for helping, but that's the Asper-girl for ya! At least I'm aware of it!). First question out of my mouth, "when were you thinking about going?". "Maybe next month" was the answer I got. If I could have picked my jaw up off the floor, I would have said "you stupid idiot! Even season veterans have trouble booking trips that soon, especially during the start of the busy season! Where do you think you're going, Six Flags?". Luckily, the time it took me to pick my jaw up allowed me time enough to compose myself just a bit, or at least enough to get out, "that's not possible". Then my Asper-brain takes over and panic sets in...why? Who knows! But I feel it's my moral obligation to set this chick straight!

I just said, "let's get back to that" and went on with the next question, "what's your budget like?". You'll never guess the answer that actually escaped her lips...come on...take a guess..."maybe about $500 for a family of four". It would cost more than than to drive to the beach and stay and do nothing! If I could have hit her, I would, but instead, I sat her down and gave her the Disney planning facts according to Keebs:

1) If at all possible, give yourself at least 8 to 12 months to plan - a resort has to be chosen, schedules have to be planned out, dining reservations are made at the 180 day mark, money has to be saved up, and the most important thing, research must be done (and if at all possible, before the other items can be taken care of)...especially for the person who has never been there before in their life.

I always recommend to people to either order the free Disney planning DVD, or watch videos on YouTube for different reasons...to learn the lay of the land so you don't end up lost, to get an idea of the sheer size, see which resort appeals to you, but for those with kids...you'd be surprised how many little ones completely FREAK out over the sight of a 5ft tall mouse! They have it in their little heads that Mickey is their size. If you acclimate your kids to seeing Mickey 5ft tall and playing with other kids, maybe they won't be so scared and those in line behind you don't have to miss their chance because your kid took up tons of time throwing a fit at the sight of Mickey! The characters are only out for a brief amount of time when they come out, so get in, get your pic and/or autograph and GET OUT!

I know I say this ad-nauseum, but Disney World is NOT Six Flags! The acreage used to be 47 square miles (but this has changed a bit since they sold off some conservation land), which is roughly twice the size of Manhattan! It has four theme parks, two water parks, four championship golf courses (used to be five, but the fifth is where the new rich-people subdivision is going - Golden Oak), two miniature golf courses, a Wide World of Sports complex, a Nascar racing area, a Downtown shopping district, and last, but definitely not least, eight Deluxe Resorts (as well as their DVC counterparts and not counting the Swan and Dolphin), three moderate resorts (depending on whether or not you count Port Orleans as one, if you count it as two, then make that four moderates), five values (if you add the new Art of Animation and count the All Stars separately), there are seven (about to be eight) DVC resorts (Disney's version of a time share, a campground, then you have the Swan and Dolphin, which is on property, but not run by Disney, Shades of Green (the military family resort), seven good neighbor hotels, and they are building a Four Seasons in the middle of Golden Oak. To make a long story short (too late!), Disney World is HUGE! Now, why on earth would you want to figure out what to see and do in a month?

2) I've discussed the on-site, off-site debate before, but since I'm in a mood because of this, I'm gonna do it again anyway. People look at prices of Disney resorts and go, "I'm not paying that! We'll just stay off-site". Yeah...save a buck on your room (unless you own property or have a time share, which BTW, can be exchanged for DVC points). Now that you've saved yourself money, add to that the hour to and from everyday that you'll loose, the $14 per day parking fee, and the lack of access to Disney transport (don't make me go into THAT again). You can't go back to your room for a midday break without wasting two hours in transport time, you can't take advantage of the Extra Magic Hours because that's for resort guests, you can't have your packages shipped back to your resort so you don't have to carry them around all day...need I go on? Yes, you pay more for a Disney resort, but you get more, and the higher the level (i.e. deluxe), the more benefits you get!! It has been proven, that in the long run with time and money, it actually costs more to stay off-site, you just don't feel it because you are paying it over time instead of upfront.

3) Save, save, save! It ain't cheap to go to WDW, and I wouldn't be able to go like I do without my benefactor, aka sissy extraordinaire, Am! But, having said that, Disney is one of the few places that means it when they say, "you get what you pay for"! Sure, a burger might cost you $10, but it's usually a bacon-double cheeseburger with a generous side of fries, a drink and most places have fixin' bars, so you can pile it as high as you'd like! And yes, you pay $2.50 for a bottle of water, but you gotta have a rock-gut to drink the water in central Florida...to an outsider, it smells like sewer water that has been over-chlorinated!

4) Plan, plan, plan! If you don't plan, don't get pissed off because you end up in the middle of Pop Warner, or the cheerleaders, or Gay Days (which I would think would be no big deal, but I've already discussed this as well, some people equate it to Sodom and Gomorrah), or the parks are closing early for special parties you didn't buy tickets for, or it's so crowded the parks are closed for capacity issues (another great on-site perk, you will be allowed entry (although maybe not to the park of your choice), even if it's at capacity), it's the middle of hurricane season, you can't get into a restaurant because you didn't make reservations, your stuck in one park all day because you didn't get a park hopper option added to your ticket...or my absolute favorite idiot non-planning snafu...you only went to the Magic Kingdom because you didn't know there were three other parks (yes, I know someone who actually did that!).

Which brings up a rant...Magic Kingdom is NOT Disney World...yes, in 1980 it was because it was all that was there, but times have changed and it drives me biszonker nuts to hear someone call the Magic Kingdom Disney World (or worse, Disneyland...that's in California). "Where did you go today?", I ask, "well, we went to the giant golf ball place and Wild Kingdom and Disney Studios (the only one they ever get right), and then Disney World"...UGH! Prepare to get a lecture if you say that to my face!! You were just there! Surely you noticed the multitude of signs and maps telling you exactly where you were!

5) And the final Keebs tip, reach out to others who have been there and can give your their tips! You may think it won't be helpful, but there will always come a time in Disney where you wish you knew more than you did (I still get that sometimes) and it's always better to learn from someone else's mistake rather than make the mistake yourself. But I do have to warn you, don't reach out to me unless you're serious, are willing to listen to everything I tell you, and follow my advice!

So, back to today's idiot, I give her my spiel, I could tell she was half listening anyway, and this point got reiterated when she said the following after I asked, "how long were you thinking about going for?"...prepare yourself..."four days, but we also want to go to Sea World, Universal, and Cape Canaveral, that should be plenty of time, right?" (her words, not mine). Ugh...re paragraph 3 under heading 1. She really didn't take it well when I said, "even for a Disney vet, minimum 2 days Magic Kingdom, 2 days Epcot, 1 day a piece for Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom, and 1 day for Downtown...not including anything extra you might want to do on property. Add another 2 days for Universal, 1 day minimum for Sea World, and an extra day to drive to Cape and that's a minimum of 11 days and you still won't come CLOSE to seeing everything. You could spend a month in Disney World and not see everything there is to see there alone. In my opinion, save Univeral, Sea World and Cape for another time or do it instead of Disney". Finally I could see the Six Flags veil disappearing from the whites of her eyes!

After explaining all this stuff, of course I get the usual reaction "well, if it's that much trouble, we won't go!". This is where a normal person would probably answer, "oh no, you HAVE to go! It's the most magical place on earth!", which is completely true. There is no place in the world like it. But that's not the answer I gave..."well, if your not gonna put in the time, you probably shouldn't, because you won't have fun, and might ruin someone else's time". Yep, I said it! I wish everyone who didn't really want to be there or wasn't enjoying themselves were suddenly magically whisked away to "away from me land" so I can enjoy my trip without listening to the person next to me bitch about how much it costs, or what they didn't get to do, blaa, blaa, blaa.

In the end, she decided she needed to discuss it with her husband more (especially since they have already told their kids they are going...BAD move!). I told her I'd still help her, but she needed to be serious and put it off a bit. Then she proceeds to tell me, "we could go in October like you! Someone told my husband about a really cool and scary Halloween Party", and here I thought she was gonna say Mickey's Not So Scary since she has two young children, but instead she goes, "at Universal". Now my blood pressure is rising..."Halloween Horror Nights is for 18 years and older, no children allowed because of the serious and scary nature of the scenes...hell, we're too scared to go!" (scared wasn't the right word, because Am and I are both into horror, but I have this bad habit of punching first and asking questions later when someone jumps out at me, it's just my natural reaction, my defense mechanism if you will). She then goes off on a rant that they can't bar her children if they go, she has rights...I just walked off.

She is a hopeless, lost case and I for one, hope she doesn't go anywhere near Disney World! I have this message on my bulletin board at work..."Walt Disney World - for those that get it, no explanation necessary, for those that don't, no explanation possible". Words to live by. And the first thing out of my mouth when someone says they didn't like WDW is, "well, if you have a bad time at Disney, it's probably your fault and not theirs", and once they tell me their story (for some unknown reason they think I care), it just adds merit to my motto!

Soapbox dismount.

I'm in love with Mark Owen!!

Ok, so that's not new news...but what has brought on this resurgence? My eBay habit, that's what! I troll eBay for not just Disney stuff, but particular items from my past, or items I've always wanted, one of them being the DVD of Mark's concert, Live At The Academy. I've had the YouTube clips all pasted together in "concert form" for years just to satiate my craving for this show, but it has never been good enough...I wanted the real thing! But it was a limited edition DVD released pretty much right before the reformation of Take That, and once TT became huge again, Mark's solo career was all but forgotten (yes, I'm partial, but his solo career made him the singer/songwriter he is today which is amazing and very underrated), so, the few times it did appear on eBay, it was someone's private issue and they were asking the cost of a small car for it, and I'd pretty much given up hope.

But anyway, low and behold, guess what I found on eBay last week en masse?

I jumped on it like my life depended on it and it arrived today! Now, I did half expect it to be some crappy dub, and I was OK with that (sad but true), but, it's absolutely perfect!  They've released it, so it's real and official and even has additional content!  My Markie obsession gene is totally salivating right now!

What makes this such wonderful news? Well, I'm a Mark Owen fan that lives in bum-fudge Arkansas. No one around me even knows who Take That is, let alone Mark...heck, for that matter, you'd be surprised how many people around here don't even know who Robbie Williams is, and considering he's one of the biggest stars in the world, that's just friggin sad! We tend to live in a bubble and don't experience anything outside of the music we are "given", i.e. radio airplay (which overall is pretty much terrible, IMO). The internet should have changed that for a lot of people, but it didn't, and that's even sadder. Some of my favorite bands I discovered due to the internet! (And don't even get me started on not being able to download music from iTunes UK...I tend to jump on a very giant soapbox about that - you should be able to download anything you want if you are willing to pay for it, it shouldn't be divided by countries...no wonder music is so segregated!  Even Amazon UK won't let me download - I can (and unfortunately do) buy DVD's left and right, but alas, no music unless it's in CD form).

Growing up where I did, being a Duranie, listening to Depeche Mode, screaming from the mountain tops that Robert Smith was gorgeous (and I still think so, BTW), well, let's just say it's amazing I didn't get shot!! I was a "weirdo", and "outsider" plus add to that my mental issues and I was a downright freak of nature! But, considering the masses I was surrounded by, it didn't hurt my feelings at all and I needed to be left alone for my own sanity (my school years were very Breakfast Club and I was Ally Sheedy's character just without my Emilio). Every blue moon a new kid would move to town from another state and they typically shared my passion for Duran (one ended up being my best friend through most of high school until we had a nasty split another was from California and she was ostracized just for that reason...rednecks, ugh, but she only stayed two years, I think I miss her more than my the ex-best friend, she was the only person in school weirder than me and I worshiped her for it - so Carrie Vanemark, if you're out there - big shout out!).

But my "boy-band" fascination has also been a lifelong passion (or problem, if you ask my sister!). Name a boy-band and I guarantee that at one time or another I was into them, so Take That was a natural progression, especially given my Anglophilia (even Duran were considered a "boy band" to some, although why I'll never know). I do regret my New Kids phase though (especially since I was in my late teens, early twenties, but hey, in my defense, only Jordan and Joe are younger than me, Donnie was my crush and he is older than me, but I guess that still doesn't excuse the comforter set and walls completely covered in NK posters). Heck, I've even gone through a Jonas Brothers phase (but in my defense on that one...seeing them live caused that...but I was at a Miley Cyrus concert, so I guess it's a pretty shotty defense! Can I claim the Disney defense?).

I've done a blog about Take That in detail, I think it was one of my first few blogs. But they are one of the only boy bands that have turned into a man-band. What they are today is a far cry from a boy-band of the past and that's why they are my favorite band (and yes, you can call them a band now since they play instruments).  The Duranie in me will never go away, but the Take That force is uber strong and more in tune with the person I am today...it just fits me better and has for years now.  And maybe since they've progressed into a man-band, maybe I've finally progressed out of the boy-band phase (although I still listen to the old stuff as well as the new)...maybe they grew me up (yeah...I doubt it too...but that's OK, I'm happy to be me...now...I wasn't allowed a childhood so I'm due one).

But back on topic, here are a few clips from Mark's show, which also happen to be some of my favorites of Mark's solo stuff (which is a far cry from TT, it's a lot more indie-so if you know Take That but not Mark's solo stuff, don't expect "Babe" here).







As an aside, congrats to Mark and Emma for the upcoming arrival of their third child (which means I also need to give a proper shout out to Gary and Dawn and Robbie and Ayda who are also expecting!).  It's a virtual Take That baby bonanza!!  Let's just hope Howard kept his in his pants!   All he needs is another baby-mamma and the drama he seems to conjure with it!!  I don't think about Jason much, but last I heard he broke up with Catherine Tate, but hey, considering they never confirmed they were dating in the first place, who knows....he's my "least favorite", so I don't keep up with him much.

Mark's again working on a new solo album during this Take That break, and since he's been under the influence of being back in TT in an entirely different capacity than before (again, see previous blog if you don't know the history of TT) and I'm really anxious to see how it's changed him musically.

So, anyway, just wanted to tell my exciting news and I think I'll watch it again because I was typing this blog as it was running and I wasn't paying close attention (although I've seen it a million times).  And, as per usual, I rambled on way too much (but hey, if we were talking in person, you wouldn't be able to get a word out of me.  I don't blog for readers, I blog just to speak, whether or not people listen is irrelevant because they don't in real life either, so I'm used to it...I just want to be able to voice my opinions and share my loves and if someone else agrees or gets turned onto something new, yea me!).  I'm an Asper attempting social interaction in the only way I can (or at least the most comfortable)...without actual human contact.

And since I did a bit of ranting as well, then I must do my usual....

Soapbox dismount.

Happy make single people feel inferior day!

I'm happy to be single...after my marriage, I'm lucky I didn't end up in a convent (only with my religious views they'd kick me out in about 2 seconds!).

But watching the worst of the office people get roses and flowers and bears and balloons all day can really make even the most content single person feel worthless!

T took me out for dinner on Sunday and we spent the day shopping as a Valentine's treat, but T is my best friend and I love him...like family (which, in my case, means my Sister since she's the only real family I got), doesn't really count in the romance department!

Normally I don't care, but must there be a holiday that shoves it in our face?  I'd like to get a dozen purple roses just because someone loves me and not because it was my birthday one year and my aunt got them on sale (and it was only a half dozen).

This must be the work of Ferg-id, making me feel things I normally wouldn't care crap about!  I've made it through dozens of Valentine's Days and haven't cared before!  Either that or it's the meds!

Setting the record straight...

OK folks, look...I haven't had any probs from my cyber friends because I think that ya'll read my blog and apparently understand me better than my apparent "real" friends and the people I'm around everyday.  But for the others, the ones who have taken my last post in a completely offensive vain...in the simplest terms...screw you!  I'm not going to get upset about something I have no control over and play the martyr, and if you knew me at all, you'd know that!  If one more person comes up to me and tells me I really shouldn't joke about my condition, I'm gonna punch them!

With everything I've been through in my life, one more log on the so-called funeral pyre isn't gonna cause me to scream louder! Christ-all-mighty!  Get a grip people!  I'm not a whiner or a wailer and I'm not about to start now!  So I have a mass in my head...I can't fix it, and crying 24/7 won't make it better, so why not make myself feel better by telling a joke or two?  Where is the harm in laughing about it?  It's my mass to laugh at, not yours!  It's my life being affected, not yours!  It's my cross to bear and if I choose to decorate it with sequins and glitter and Mickey Mouse heads, then by God, then so I shall!

Trust me, I am taking this situation very seriously...but I can't control it, so why make myself even sicker worrying about it?  And to those (you know who you are) who are planning my funeral as we speak...THIS IS ABOUT ME, NOT YOU!!!  For once, the world doesn't revolve around you!

Soapbox dismount...but my temper is still flared and if I get a headache because I'm pissed about this...well, that IS on your head!!

Here's what I know...

absolutely nothing...say it again...WAR!  Sorry...couldn't help myself!  Spoke with the doctor's nurse this morning and as of now, we are in watch the mass grow mode.  I feel like my head should be a clear glass dome so everyone can get a look!  If it grows quickly, then we'll discuss Delta team extraction methods, but otherwise, watch the enemy and report to headquarters any activity...do not engage, repeat, do not engage!

I go back to the neuro in March and we'll see what he says then (plus, I'm taking Delta team leader Am in to light a fire under the general's arse so that extraction can occur sooner rather than later...there might have to be a black op mission in my future!).

The mass more than likely has been there most of my life and has just now decided that it is time to grow up and be a big-boy meningioma, so I though it should have a big-boy meningioma name, Ferg-id Quinn, after the three doctors at work that have caused me the most stress - they most likely are the ones injecting Ferg-id with his steroid shots...Ferg and id daily! 

Besides, Ferg-id has opened up a whole new line of jokes!  I've spent most of the day rambling on about the battle between Ferg-id and Clan Blair (that's me since I'm Scottish)...the big bad meningioma attacking the little (ok, big) Highland girl inside her protective fortress (that being my head)!   Ferg-id may be winning this battle, but he won't win the war!  You don't mess with a Scottish lass!

On the med front, wow, are the new ones scary!  People have gone to rehab for less than what I'm carrying in my purse!  I'm scared to take them!  I don't see the point in medicating me to the point of near death, while I still sit around waiting for the next headache (which is just around the corner), constantly have a completely numb face and mouth, periodically loose vision in my left eye, and now I'm starting to loose feeling in my limbs during headaches, when all could be fixed with just some quick sword-play by a surgeon!  I absolutely REFUSE to get the point where I'm having seizures before they do anything!  There are few things in life I'm scared of medical wise, seizures are one of them!  I spend most of my time alone which is bad for seizure sufferers and, although I'm not scared of dying, I don't want to be found like that (of course I would be worried about how I would look to the cute paramedics carrying me off to the morgue, after that point I'm not too worried, since I'm in the pathology business, it's all family from there...but then again, the real Ferg and Id will get their peek-a-boo's in...hmm, nope, not too thrilled about that either).

On a good note though (there is one?), T is taking me out this weekend for dinner and shopping (to buy a certain Brit an American care package that I've been promising!), so maybe Ferg-id will not puff up this weekend and ruin things like he has been lately!

DOWN WITH THE FERG-ID!  LONG LIVE CLAN BLAIR!

Disney - A way of life

I wanted to do a blog about Disney people and non-Disney people, because in my world, other than my family, I am pretty much the only "Disney" person I know.

I have a note card on my bulletin board at work that says "Disney World, for those that get it, no explanation needed, for those that don't, no explanation possible". This is the truest statement if there ever was one. Disney, for me, is a spiritual journey. Having Asperger's I don't feel much. But at Disney, I laugh, I cry, I feel happy, I feel mucho pain (mainly in my feet!), but, the point is, I FEEL. That's major for me.

I've known people who have gone to Disney and come back totally not impressed, complaining that the food was too expensive, couldn't get into any restaurants, the rides weren't thrilling enough, the lines were too long, it was too hot, it rained everyday, everything was just too expensive, the roads were too congested, blaa, blaa, blaa. I'm about to address these points, probably out of order, but bear with me to the bear end (Country Bears reference, told you I'm in the Disney zone!).

My first thought when I hear this? "You obviously didn't plan". You wouldn't take a trip to Europe and not plan would you? And yet you would be surprised how many times when I ask them, "well, did you plan ahead?", I always get the answer back "why no, it's just an amusement park!". First off...Disney World is NOT an amusement park, it's a THEME park...four of them to be precise, spread out over what used to be 47 square miles (but this has changed since the recent land sales, so the current figures are unknown). This means Disney World is twice the size of Manhattan!!

This the official property map from Disney:


And this is a screenshot from Bing of the Wilderness Lodge from the air (a good size itself as you can tell from the cars):


And here is the entire property - the little itty bitty purple arrow points to the Lodge to give you perspective on the property's size:


The best point of reference that I can give is this one - the purple is Disney, the pink is Universal Studios, and the green is Sea World (which are huge parks in and of themselves):


OK, I think I've made my point about the sheer massive size of Disney World, now onto the other points. Point two I think was food and prices. Here again, planning. Every single Disney website, official or fan, screams from it's four mountain tops...Splash, Space, Big Thunder, and Everest (ha! inside Disney joke!), to MAKE DINING RESERVATIONS! There are also numerous sites that not only have current menus, but also have menu pricing! Yes, you may pay $10 for a burger at Cosmic Rays in Tomorrowland In the Magic Kingdom, but the burger is HUGE! You get what you pay for at Disney (just don't drink the water! It smells like swamp water and tastes like pure chlorine! I'll happily pay $2.50 for a bottle of water!). Disney dining reservations are made at 120 days before your trip and some restaurants book fast. For my time zone, I have to be online at 3 am at the 120 point and still can't manage to get into certain restaurants. But you can keep trying and trying and hopefully someone will cancel and you can get in.

And while I'm on the subject of dining...luckily this is a mute point now because the new booking system doesn't allow double-booking (but some people still do it under different reservations if they are traveling with others), I do want to address the subject. When people double-book a restaurant, usually because they don't know where they will want to eat on a particular night, it keeps other people from being able to book that restaurant...it's selfish and rude and I'm glad they fixed it where not only will it cancel your second booking, but it will also cancel your first booking as well so you loose both reservations! I've always thought of it as, "on Wednesday we're eating Le Cellier" and I gear myself up to eat it", not, "hmmm, wonder if I'll want steak tonight?". You can't think like that in WDW. Off rant (for now).

Next point...weather. Come on! It's central Florida! It's hot and muggy and it rains! Duh! There are certain times of the year you can go, however, when it has it's cooler days and doesn't rain as much. Here again...PLAN! And a lot of these softer weather times have the best entertainment...Flower and Garden Festival in March and April, Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party in Sept/Oct (my personal fave), and Mickey's Very Merry Christmas Party in Nov/Dec.

Nowadays, people take their children out of school to go on vacation instead of waiting until the summer time (a sore spot with me, but apparently Am and I disagree on this point...I think education is more important, she thinks family time is...you say tomato). That argument is as mute as religion, it's a matter of personal preference, but needless to say, no matter what time of year you go, there are kids there, so for those (like me) who don't particularly care for the little ones, be prepared, they are always there! Plus, other countries have different school let out times, so, depending when you go, there might be an influx of foreigners (which I mind less, unless it's tour groups and that's a whole other ballgame...stay far far away when they are there!).

OK, moving on...rides not being thrilling...Disney is a family park, not a teen park or an adult park or a kid park. It's made for all ages! I'm a roller coaster person and have been on a "real" roller coaster and Disney's coasters aren't the "real" thing, but some come close. The point is, all rides can be ridden with all family members (well, most rides providing you meet the height requirement - another sore spot with me - if you kid isn't tall enough, don't force it, it's a safety issue! I wish I had a dime for everytime I saw a parent fighting with a CM over their kid not being tall enough to ride a ride! Would you want your kid to get hurt because they were too small for the safety equipment to adequately contain them? Idiots! Which brings up another idiot parent move - forcing your child to ride something they don't want to...ugh! It's bad enough having to watch the episode play out, but to have to sit in a car behind a screaming child ruins the ride for other people! Then, having to listen to the kid go, "that wasn't so bad, can we do it again?" and the parent going "I told you so!", only my ride was completely ruined listening to the the entire scream-fest! Off topic again, sorry!).

Another side note, as a "large" person, or "pooh-sized" as we are referred to via Disney speak, Disney World is the first park I have ever been to that caters to pooh-sized people!! There is not a ride I can't ride or a place I can't go! Back when I was married and quite a bit larger than I am now, I had a very embarrassing episode at Six Flags St. Louis where I was asked to leave a ride because the safety bar wouldn't go down over my stomach! Can you imagine how horrible that was?! It was a long time before I went to another park after that (as a matter of fact, Disney was the next park I went to). I can't go to Universal Studios because most rides there I can't fit into (plus, I wouldn't go anyway as a matter of loyalty to Disney, but I would like to see the Harry Potter stuff, but I'm not going until I can fit on the rides, which will probably be never).

I'm not even gonna get into the roads being too congested discussion because I've already made my point about that in a previous blog...stay on property! That way you can use Disney transportation (don't use it if you're not staying on property BTW...see aforementioned blog) and get around without having to drive and you don't worry about the road congestion! Yes, there are times where you get a bad bus driver who doesn't know where he's going and end up trapped on a bus with a bunch of drunks from Downtown Disney at 1 am for over an hour, but that's only happened once and hopefully never again! But if you have to stay off property, prepare for the toll roads! Florida doesn't have state taxes, so they have to collect money somehow! And living in a state that has taxes, I'd much rather have toll roads instead! Plus, if you have reservations at Animal Kingdom and you are staying in a Magic Kingdom resort, don't wait until 20 minutes before your reservations to get a bus! It might take an hour to get there since they are all the way across property from one another! Plan appropriately!

And finally, the money issue. I only go to Disney once a year because it takes an entire year to save up enough money to go. And, if Am didn't pay for the actual trip, I probably wouldn't be able to do that! Why, you ask? My Disney obsession stems from my love for the duck! Remember the infamous duck room I keep mentioning? Here's a teaser of it's contents:





And I wish I could say that was all I had...that's only part of the room and a wide shot. I also have a Mickey bathroom, my bedroom is princesses and villains and there are numerous other thing spread throughout the house. If it wasn't so cool, it would be just sad! I'm what one would call an "organized hoarder"! A hoarder with OCD might be better?

But anyhoo...just because I shop like a total maniac, doesn't mean you have to too! Donald merchandise is rare, so I buy it up like crazy! Even Aurora merch is limited. I always choose the least liked characters, I guess! And yes, everytime you exit a ride, you are pretty much gonna exit through a gift shop, but hey, if it wasn't that way, then when you left Mickey's Philharmagic (which should be called Donald's Philharmagic, BTW), there wouldn't be a completely Donald themed gift shop, so there you go! Here's a pic of it:

Oh, and before you ask, no, there is nothing I won't take a picture of in WDW. Don't believe me? One of my favorite tile designs, can you guess where it's at?

Did you guess? It's the bathroom outside of Lights Motor Action at the end of Streets Of America in the Disney Hollywood Studios! Yep, that's right folks, a bathroom! But hey, it's a rarely used bathroom, so good tip there!

As another side note, our favorite thing to take pictures of? People that dress like total idiots! So be careful what you wear to Disney, or you just might end up in our collection! You'd be surprised what people will wear in public! Off topic again, I know!

Let me just shut up here because I have pics to work on, but in conclusion, I don't get the non-getters of Disney. I think it says a lot about a person's character if Disney doesn't affect you. If it can take a closed off person like me and open me up, even if only for a little while, than what kind of person must they be that have no reaction whatsoever? I know people who have been and didn't like it, and I do group them into two categories: those who didn't plan but could have a good time; and those who are hopeless. The hopeless people I stay away from because, like I said, it says a lot about their character, at least from my point of view. They have a distinct type of aura anyway and I can tell those people from a mile off. They wouldn't be the type I would associate with anyway. I'm an excellent judge of character (a few notable exceptions excluding) and Disney is definitely a good measure of character!

I've helped a lot of people plan their Disney trips and I'm always surprised when people first tell me that they are going to WDW and ask me questions, how little they know, and would not have known had they not have asked me! I do tend to overwhelm them at first, but once I load them up with the necessary tools, I haven't had one unsatisfied customer yet!

My Disney motto is: "If you have a bad time at Walt Disney World, it's your fault, not theirs!". It's one I stand by!

Soapbox dismount!

Resorts past - the Contemporary

I'm going to be doing a series of reviews of resorts past that we have stayed at. This one is dedicated to AbbyBeth!

Before I do these though, there is some business I've got to get out of the way first, for those who are Disney vets so maybe you'll understand me a bit better and those who aren't so you'll know what the crap I'm talking about!

Now, let me start off by saying, for those in the Disney know and who frequent the DisBoards, (and this is going to be controversial, so prepare yourself), we are Deluxe Snobs...there, I've said it! Whew! What a load off! Hi, I'm Keebs, and I'm a Deluxe Snob! Now that I've done that, what are the other 11 steps? Yes, I'm a poor person who lives in a mobile home, so how can I possibly be a DS? We started off staying off property in '81 (which was terrible, I would never recommend it), in '99 we stayed at Caribbean Beach Resort (which was OK, but 30 minutes to breakfast and 30 minutes back to the room was just too much walking!), in '04, Caribbean Beach again, and I believe I've established how "fun" the '04 trip was! '05 was my first stay at Wilderness Lodge and my first venture into Deluxe Snobbery, '06 solo to the Lodge, '07 Contemporary, '08 solo back to the Lodge, '09 back to Moderate land at Port Orleans French Quarter (further solidifying my DS-ness, once you've gone DS, you can never go back), and '10 The Polynesian.

OK, the off property discussion first. Disney offers a million perks to staying on property, some of which I have already discussed, but some of which I haven't...discounted and combined ticket perks, free transportation (which means you don't have to rent a car - total money saver right there) (and for those that stay off property and take the buses anyway, be warned, I know 99% of the time you can get away with it, but have seen bus drivers ask for resort keys before boarding and I have also seen them embarrass the crap out of someone for not having a resort key and trying to use Disney buses - there is barely enough room for resort guests as it is! DISNEY BUSES ARE FOR RESORT GUESTS ONLY - YOU CAN USE THE MONORAIL, HOWEVER (JUST NOT THE RESORT MONORAIL)! (sorry, pet peeve of mine), free parking (and the current parking fee for non-resort guests is $14 per day and that can really add up!), free park to resort gift shop package service (which I have already discussed), using your room key to charge purchases, Extra Magic Hours (which means the parks stay open later or open early for resort guests on specific days), you don't have to commute an hour every morning and every night into and out of the resort because you're already there, you are guaranteed admittance to the parks when they are full to capacity (although you may not get entrance to the park you are trying to get into), and tons of other things that are escaping my migraine-hungover brain at the moment!

For those of you not in the Disney know, there are basically three levels of Disney resorts: value (not even when hell freezes over - sensory overload! I know some people love them, but we ain't them people - we got stuck at the bus stop at a value in '04 and I thought we were all going to have panic attacks!), moderate, and deluxes (well four levels if you add DVC's - Disney Vacation Club - Disney's version of time shares, or five levels if you count the camp grounds)...moving on. Values and Moderates are like motels, several levels, rooms accessible from the outside, both have food courts, moderates have a restaurant, pools, etc. Values are geared more towards families with children...they have over the top theming. Moderates do have their fair share of children, but the theming is much more subdued and adult. Deluxes are like hotels, rooms accessible from the inside, food courts, several restaurants, pools, etc, higher level of quality and although there is children as well, the quantity is even less and the theming is also more adult.

Why do I keep mentioning children? Another controversial statement: we don't have any in our family and frankly, I'm not a fan. Just stay with me for a minute and let me get it all out. How in the world can I go to WDW and not like children? Well, that's a very easy one to answer...having Asperger's, I'm an observer of people more than a participator in things and the main thing I've noticed about the kids at WDW is, yes, a larger than normal quantity of them are ill-mannered and badly behaved, but it's not there fault. I notice that the parents are the ones that don't control their children or encourage their bad behavior. I can't imagine acting like those kids do in public when I was little and if I did, I can't imagine my Mother's reaction! We'd probably would have been packed up and taken home right then, money spent on trip be damned! My Mother would have died if I hauled off and kicked a total stranger for no reason (and yes that has happened to me and I think Am as well - and the parents did NOTHING and even ignored me when I tried to acknowledge it!). Who lets their child behave like that!?!?

But, having said that, only in WDW, do I have any sort of normal reaction to children. By normal, I mean when I see a child's eyes light up when they see Donald or Aurora for the first time, it actually puts a smile on my face, and trust me, that's huge for me! I was 16 when I got the reiteration that my "feeler" was dead (now I know that was the Asperger's), first time being when my Father's Dad died (which I've already discussed way back). I was with my Mother in Wal-Mart and she ran into some she knew who had just had a baby and everyone was cooing and cawing all over it and I felt nothing, nada, zip, zilch. That wasn't normal and I knew it and it freaked me out! From that moment on, my reaction to children was to just shun them away (which in kids speak means, "Keebs is in the room, quick go hug her, she hates it!")-I'm still a kid magnet BTW, it's like they sense I don't like them so they come running! WDW allows me to feel at least somewhat "normal" even if it's only for a week, if it wasn't for the stupid parents and their bad parenting skills ruining it all!

Boy, could I have gotten more off topic? But the good news is, we won't have to go through all this next review (I don't think)...anyhoo, on with the show:

This is a review of a WDW Resort (BTW, I will use WDW alot, it stands for Walt Disney World for those that don't know) we stayed at in Oct 2007, Disney's Contemporary Resort.

This is a Dec 2006 shot coming up from Bay Lake from The Wilderness Lodge (I was sight-seeing Christmas decorations):

This would be my favorite, if it had just a touch of Disney theming!  It's perfect as far as location goes...in fact, it's got the best location in the whole complex, right next to the Magic Kingdom!  Don't believe me?  This was the view from our balcony in 2007:

and here's a zoomed shot of Cinderella Castle:

Need I say more? You can either take the elevator down directly to the monorail that runs right through the middle of the resort (this was from our interior balcony):

It's one of only three monorail resorts (the other being the Polynesian (which we have also stayed at) and the Indian Burial Ground Resort (or as most refer to it, the Grand Floridian Resort - which I refuse to stay at, but will take tea at).

And it is the only resort you can walk to the Magic Kingdom from (sorry about the fuzz, the lens always fogs up in the mornings in Florida):

Am always gets mad because her butt is always in my pics, but if she wouldn't walk so damn fast, it wouldn't be!

But the entire place is just cold! Yes, there is a giant painting by Mary Blair (original Disney artist who created the artwork for It's A Small World - but don't hate her for that, it's the Sherman Brothers you want to hate, they wrote that bloody song!) in the center of the Tower Building and there is a Mickey statue in the lobby and there are Mickey themed shops and restaurants, but the overall theme of the rooms and resort in general is "Contemporary". They had just done a rehab when we were there, so it had lost it's 70's mod look at least. This was our room:

See? Not very Disney-fied. If I'm staying at Disney, I want to feel it (although all I had to do was look out the window, but trust me, it cost a huge penny! - Thanks Am's Matt for footing that bill!!). It is currently going through yet another rehab (I think it gets more rehabs than any other resort! But if you want location, location, location, and have extra dough burning a hole in your pocket, this is definitely the place to stay! What I wouldn't give to have Wilderness Lodge on this spot!

As an aside, the California Grill, the restaurant that sits atop the resort, is one of my favorites on property and is the one that introduced me to Moscato, which is now my favorite wine (although that night I drank too much of it and it made me sick - sweet wine in moderation with Florida heat - lesson learned). And if you don't have the moolah to stay at the Contemporary, eat at the Cali Grill...it offers the same views we got from our room and SPECTACULAR fireworks viewing. I will be reviewing it at another time.

But that's it! Next resort review I think will be The Polynesian...my third favorite (and the last deluxe we stayed in).