Keebles World

Today was supposed to be the first day of a week long vacation from work, but the phone calls started before I even woke up and I was in the lab by 2:30p. Typical. The ONLY good thing about being on salary is at least I did waste a vacation day with the three hours worth of work I ended up doing, but it's still not officially a vacation (and I'm sure tomorrow will suck just as much). Despite everything though, a very late night last night and tonight, I finished Lilo and Stitch Otherwise, and under my goal of 300 hours...although just barely at 292.73 hrs. Anyhoo, on with the pics! I left off here last weekend: Finished the row just a little after 11p: For a total finish: I got it ironed and ready for mounting (and then off to Hobby Lobby for framing). I am having trouble deciding on how though. I'm not quite sure it's the kind of piece that should be matted. I may wait a few days before I decided for sure (and if anyone has any thoughts, just let me know)...

One of the weirdest things about being an Asper is how much control I give to my emotions despite the screaming of my logical brain at my idiocy...I am quite aware of how I should be reacting to situations, but knowing and doing are always two separate things in my world. Nine times out of ten, this is why I end up with headaches and it's why I've had a headache since last Friday. My work issues aren't because of me or anything I'm doing, it's because I'm allowing another person to expose and manipulate my insecurities...my brain knows this, my emotions see finger-pointing and stares from people who aren't even involved in the situation and, unfortunately, emotions trump logic every single time. Last night, I stopped by the drug store to refill my meds and then to get Chinese food (I'm weird that way too, caffeine, MSG, chocolate, all the things you are not supposed to eat when you have a migraine tend to clear mine up). On the way home, I turned on...

For the first time in a very long time, I spent almost all Christmas weekend living in headache-land and it totally sucked. Unfortunately, I know exactly why...the joy that is my job and some very particular co-workers. Thank goodness I get to go back to work tomorrow and start it all over again (insert sarcastic smirk here). We've also spent most of the weekend without water (except at night). Apparently, the jerks next door were illegal digging and broke a water main. Sick headaches and lack of water do not mix well, so I tried to stay as drugged up and knocked out as possible (which is why I haven't been online all weekend). And what happens when I do get online? I find out that George Michael is gone too. 2016 is the worst year ever. If I knew of a New Year's party, I would actually go just to kick this horrible year out the door! I did get some stitching done, most of which was today, but still. I left off last week here: And at least made it to here to...

Considering that I had a VERY long work week, I still managed to get a chunk of stitching done. I left off here last week: And, although I finished the first page and got a chunk of the second page done, I'm still too far behind to finish by the end of the year: I'm still holding out hope that the extra days around the holidays will give me adequate time to hit my deadline though, even with the extra work time that I'll also be putting in next week. I did go back to therapy this week. I'm trying to be better at recognizing when things are going south and I'm making the effort to head them off first. The therapy itself doesn't help a bit, but I think that talking it out with someone who has no interest in me whatsoever makes it easier to say things out loud that I need to hear so that I can process it better internally. The joys of being an Asper! I'm going to try to get caught up on reading blogs next week. I know I've been horrible about it...

Despite only having a 25% off sale, I couldn't help myself and ended up getting yet another HAED to add to my stash. Jasmine Becket-Griffith, Voodoo in Violet So much for my new cross stitch storage shelves and all my room to "grow". I've already out-grown them!

Almost 20 years ago, a cheap dog toy that was included in a doggie stocking arrived at my house. Zander was its first owner and he loved red ball even though subsequent years saw the introduction of a blue ball, green ball, orange ball, and even a pink one (which mysteriously disappeared into the trash can because I hate pink). Although every single ball was the same (other than the color), red ball was the only one that ever got played with. Then Zachary came along and the red ball wars begun. It wouldn't take them long to start fighting over it, so red ball would get "put away" for a while until they could share it (which only lasted a couple of weeks before it got put up again). Once Zander was gone, red ball became the sole property of Zachary who loved and played with it almost every single day...that is until Bam came along and the red ball wars were renewed in earnest. Red ball stayed "up" until Zachary also passed and it became Bam's favorite ...

I didn't get to stitch the entire week, but I tried as much as I could. I left off here: and on Monday night I finished the row (finally): And I started the final row on Tuesday although I didn't pick it back up again until Friday. After a bit of work on Saturday night and a half day today, I got a chunk of the first page done, although not nearly as much as I needed done. For me to finish by the end of the year, I've got to be finishing more than a page a week. With having to work double shifts for over a week, I don't think that even the extra time over the holidays is going to get this finished by the end of the year. Ugh. I'm still hanging on to hope though. Even if I don't get it finished, I'm still going back to a full rotation again come January. I'm ready to go back to HAED stitching again. Bam's new brother will hopefully be well and ready to be adopted within the next couple of weeks. I'm not sure Bam knows what's co...

Another week down and still I've barely stitched, but I'm still trying. I left off here last week: And I STILL haven't finished the row yet: I really wanted to spend the entire weekend stitching, but I had my work Christmas Party Saturday night. Friday night I wasted trying to find an outfit and most all day Saturday was spent getting ready for the wasted time at the party. I did, however, get up and sing karaoke without being completely drunk (although I did wait until barely anybody was left so not too many people can attest to it). I'm just glad it's over with. Now if I can make it through a week of covering for a co-worker mid-December, then maybe I can finish this project before the end of the year! Thanks to some amazing friends, I got RAK'ed some new HAED patterns this week, Frost Dragonling Max Colors by Jasmine Becket-Griffith: and Mini Clockwork Dragonling by Jasmine Becket-Griffith: Overall, despite the heavy work week, it was the first...

The broken record is still playing because this past week still sucked. I do have to admit that I'm always surprised at how worse things continue to get and how I just put up with it all, day after day. Thank goodness for the Gilmore Girls this weekend. Escapism always works for me. It gives my OCD an outlet to go bat-shit crazy and, for the briefest of moments, I can obsess over Luke and Lorelai instead of my sucky life. When I'm not rewatching the Netflix specials, I'm watching YouTube fan videos (and we all know how much I LOVE fan videos!). Luke and Lorelai videos lead to Veronica and Logan videos, which leads to Austin and Ally, Snow and Charming/Hook and Emma, Joe and Helen, which leads to the cream of the crop, Miranda and Gary videos. Oh how I love them all. Generation after generation of TV show romances that give me the power to get through another sucky week. I wish I understood why I find joy in made-up TV characters having happy lives while mine cont...

Weekly Stitching...the first time I've used that post title for a very long time and it feels good! Last week I had just started on Stitch: I didn't finish him, but I did finish the second page of the row: I'm not sure how much I'll get done next week since I'm pulling double duty again at work next week (I hate holidays), but I fully intend to spend all Thanksgiving day trying to get caught up stitching for the week. I had to redo my hair Friday night...apparently the shelf life of the hair color is two weeks. The blonder areas were still purple, but the rest had faded. Funnily enough, it faded in a way that looked like I had my hair highlighted purple and it was pretty cool, it just wasn't purple enough. This time I went a bit higher and only left the crown my natural color but I kind of wish I had done my entire head. It's a definite in the next two weeks. I figured I would be too insecure having purple hair, but I've really enjoyed it! ...

I had to push myself very hard to keep focus, but I managed to stitch this weekend! I left off here: and made it to here tonight: I am determined to finish this project before the end of the year, but unless I find a way to get my stitch mojo back, I'm not sure how. I REALLY want my stitch mojo back though. When I think all the projects I had planned to finish by the end of this year, it makes me cringe because I failed miserably. This has not been my year all the way 'round. It's still a bit early to think of next year just yet, but I have to make it better...somehow. Happy thoughts, right?

I debated on getting the Jasmine Becket-Griffith HAED chart of Wrath because they had not done any of the other sins, but today Sloth got posted, so I bought yet another one: I'm a bad bad girl. Can't buy a house when I'm spending all my money on cross stitch charts I'll probably never get around to stitching!

I haven't had any stitching progress to show in a couple of weeks, which is surprising considering I've promised myself that I'm going to finish Lilo and Stitch before the end of the year, but I've still been buying stash like crazy and today's HAED sale didn't help. I picked up most all of the items on my Wishlist, most of which were Jasmine Becket-Griffith's stuff: Unseelie Court Wrath: Spring: Summer: Autumn: Winter: As well as two Aimee Stewart's... Supersized Max Color Little Dreamers Tree: and Supersized Max Color A Stitching Shelf without that annoying logo in the middle: I may never ever stitch these, especially considering how I feel about their dithering method of charting now, but I've wanted them forever, so I guess that's all that matters!

Well, I did it...sort of. I didn't do my whole head, only the underside, but I love it! Please forgive these pics...there is a reason why I don't take photos ever. I have a huge Scottish nose and semi-crooked eyes that selfies tend to bring out even worse than in real life. I straightened my hair (something I rarely ever do because my natural curls fall pretty nicely and it takes up too much time), but here is the after: In the sunlight, it's almost a bright bluish-purple which I love even more! I left it on for two hours this time and I really LOVE the results. I think, on the next go, I will go higher up and leave less blonde, but I'm still not sure I'm going to go whole-headed just yet. I only ended up using half a bottle, and since I bought three boxes, I have plenty for future touch-ups. I'm not sure how long this is supposed to last, but I'm not going to go above and beyond to protect it. I wash my hair every other day and pony-tail it on t...

I think, at least by now, I've established that I'm weird (and proud of it). My entire life, I've always wanted purple hair. The older I get, the more I want it but my numerous conditions and my innate desire to "please" everyone else has kept me from it. Besides, once you reach a "certain age", purple hair probably looks stupid. The side joy of zombie meds? Now I don't care what other people think and I WANT PURPLE HAIR! I'm way too scared to go purple the way most do...bleach your hair white, then color. With bleached hair, not only do you have to worry about the damage, but you have to constantly keep it up (which gets expensive). I wanted a method of going purple without the bleaching. At numerous stages of my life, I've tried to go purple, but due to the conservative nature of my hair dresser, the closest I ever got was a burgundy that looked somewhat purple in the sunlight. But with all the natural reds and my hair, as it fad...

I cleaned up my Stitch Stash page because, although I haven't been stitching much, I have been buying Stash like mad, especially from Neni Designs! I figured it would be better to just create albums for each stash versus trying to post all the hundreds of pictures. Each stash can be found here: Neni Designs HAED Charts Etsy and other online charts Kit/Pattern Stash I didn't make a page for my self-made patterns simply because I change my mind too much on those and I haven't ever even considered stitching one yet. Maybe someday I'll post those again, but just not now.

Another week passed and I did stitch...but only twice. I left off here: and made it here: It was pretty nice to see Scrump start to appear, but I did come to a realization...I've always stitched to relax or to get over a bad day and now that I take medicine for that, it almost makes stitching seem like work instead of therapy. I've got to find a way to get back to "normal" stitching self and I've got to find a way to do it on meds. Ugh.

Yep, you read that right, I actually stitched today! Granted, it wasn't much, but at least it was a start. I left off on Lilo and Stitch Otherwise back on July 30th (I can't believe it's been that long!): And I made it here today: I just had to do something other than stare at the "lost house". They warned me that the Ritalin would make my OCD worse, but since I've never seen OCD as crutch, I couldn't imagine how. Now I know. I'm trying really hard to let it go (don't sing it)...all I've been able to do is look at other houses that I could never ever afford and make myself sick trying to figure out a way to get one. The therapist told me I didn't need to come back unless I felt the need, and as much as I hate to admit it, I need. Guess I'll have to make a phone call come Monday morning.

I'd like to say I stitched this week, but I didn't. Despite being on anti-depressants again, certain things can happen to cause me to shrink back into my shell and shut down completely. This week, I received the biggest kick in the teeth I've had so far this year. Last Wednesday was just a regular sucky work day and I decided to stop at the store on my way home. I ended up making a couple more stops and came home a way I rarely ever do. I passed a realty office that had one of those digital displays and, while I was stuck at a red light, I was watching the screen when something amazing happened...a house, on a street directly behind my parents, popped up for $80,000. Houses in that neighborhood usually go for about $150. Keep in mind, we live in Arkansas, so the cost of living is really low and $150,000 is a LOT of house. I got super-excited and called my Mother immediately. She, of course, knew nothing about it, so I decided to check the web the instant I got ho...

In my entire life, there is always certain facts that I can count on...nothing can make me as happy as a Disney trip and nothing can cause me to crash like Post-Disney Depression. Walking into work this morning was one of the hardest things I've had to do in a very long time. I'm trying to remember all the bucket-list items I checked off this year: -- Four parks in one day! -- Staying at the Beach Club -- Not having any Asper breakdowns (only litle episodes) -- Seeing the Main Street Electrical Parade for the final time -- FINALLY stopping at a Florida Citrus Center But there were also important things I didn't get to do: -- See Animal Kingdom at night -- Not get rained on -- Get a hot dog at Casey's -- Walk around without my feet swelling to epic proportions I really didn't notice that the meds affected the trip much and that was what I was most worried about. I also had a really great time with my Brother-In-Law, something I was a bit worried abou...

The dreaded "therapist modification" process has started. Last week, I got the complete lecture on why I should be on meds forever and why the "zombie effect" is a "normal" human function and I should embrace it instead of fighting it. I was miserable as a kid because I was trying so hard to be "normal" and fight who I was and it took me YEARS as an adult to get myself into a place where I was comfortable with myself and I realized that I'm not normal and nor will I ever be. I like who I am now (even if I'm going through a rough time brought on by external sources) and I don't feel the need to be "normal" just to please others. I wasted too many years of my life faking "normal". But, as per usual, the therapist thinks she can "fix me" and make me "normal" by talking to me about it. It's not a chemical imbalance that can be permanently fixed with meds, it's not behavior issues th...

Still counting down the days until Disney. There are SOOO many trip preparations that are still to be made because I'm spending more time at work than home these days. I have to get my oil changed, I need new wiper blades all the way around, and I've still got to get grocery supplies for both me on the road and Mother who will be pup-sitting. Don't even get me started on the map and little planning book printing...I'm not even close to being ready to do that! On the med front, I went back to the shrink for my monthly check-in. She doubled the dose of Trintellix (which I was expecting). Surprisingly, my fear of the itching getting worse with a double dose was unfounded...the itching has almost stopped completely after only a few days (although I still have moments, especially in stressful situations). She also added another drug to the mix...Ritalin. At first, I was kind of put out that she would even mention Ritalin, but after the first dose, I knew it was a ...

I know I tend to be a broken record, but work still sucks, but there is a brief glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. My massive work project is almost finished and it's also almost Disney-time, so meds or not, life is looking up. But knowing my luck, I'm not going to get too optimistic. I finally got all my April A to Z cross stitch projects framed and put them on a wall where there is room to grow: And here they are in order: I still haven't done any stitching, but I have FINALLY finished a massive diamond painting: Granted, it's not the Aaron's Crazy Thinking Putty that the therapist wanted me to do, but at least I managed to keep my hands and my mind occupied in my "down time" instead of focusing on the negative. Don't get me wrong, I still have a head full of negative, but at least I'm managing it better. I really need to say thank you to all my blog friends who encouraged me to make it through. Normally, I'm not big...

Things are FINALLY getting better, at least somewhat. Work is suckier than ever and my attention span is still that of a fly, but at least I feel better. The meds seem to be working even though people keep telling me that I'm speaking like a rabbit on speed...my brain works faster than my mouth, so I speak fast to keep up and I always have, so I'm not sure what the difference is. I guess because I don't do it depressively anymore, I'm a perky rabbit now and that's weird to everyone. They put me on something called Trentillex which has about a million side effects but I only seem to have one...constant itching. When I go back to the shrink at the end of the month, I'm pretty sure she's gonna up the dose, so I'm not sure how much worse the itching will get. I'm already covered in sores from scratching and no amount of baby oil baths or Benadryl seems to be helping. I'm still not entirely sure that it's the right drug because it only see...

Sorry about the lack of a stitching post this past weekend...frankly, I didn't stitch a single lick last week (nor have I this week either). It's still very early in the first med trial, but they put me on Trentillex (a fairly new drug, but definitely new to me). Granted, it hasn't quite been a week yet, but I seem to be less depressed although my anxiety and ADD has gone through the roof and the least little thing sets me off. We are definitely going to have to have a conversation about it. I think she's focused on the wrong bad symptoms...sure, the depression is a worry, but the fact that I can't function properly at work is a bigger problem for me. Trentillex has some pretty nasty side effects too, but so far, mine have been minimal to non-existent (another bad sign it's probably not working right or not strong enough). I just thought I'd give an update so those that are worried about me can feel better. If anyone has any experience with this dru...

This is almost embarrassing, but I haven't been able to focus on anything lately. Here is where I left off last week: And I STILL haven't finished the first page of row 3: At least Just One July is over with now because I think my stitching mojo has died down for a while. I've been even worse at responding to emails and reading everyone's blogs. Maybe this upcoming week will be better (I wonder how long I can keep saying that and still believe it?). I go to the shrink on Wednesday, so things HAVE to get better after that, right? At least, for the past couple of days anyway, I have been able to focus enough to deal with prep work for our upcoming Disney trip. I've started working on our mini books with all our trip information. You'd think, since I've been making them since 2004, I would remember how LONG the entire process takes, but every single year I'm always surprised when I spend days editing old pages with new information. I still have...

Left off here last week: FINALLY finished the row: And barely got started on row three: Considering the week I had, I'm surprised I got any stitching done because my focus is now completely gone. I just want to sit and zone out right now. My shrink appointment isn't until the 3rd and that seems like a lifetime away and then I'll have to wait however long it takes for whichever meds I end up with to work. At least there are five weeks in July, but I still don't think it's going to help me much to even sort-of reach my challenge goals on Lilo and Stitch. Great, looks like I'm a failure all the way across the board now.