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Been a while!

I haven't realized it's been since January since I've posted, but life has been taking me in all kinds of directions, although, as per usual, most of them haven't been good, but hey, what else is new! You guys know me though, I just roll with the punches, let the bruises heal, and wait for more hits to come! Lots to catch up on, so this might be a long one!

Yes, you guys know me, I've been right on top of world events, and I'm just heart-sick at what is going on in Ukraine. As a child of the 70's/80's, it feels like I'm living in the Cold War era again, and I can't say it's not giving me nightmares. I'm not going to go too far into politics here, but I literally have not been this scared since I was a kid. What is happening to our world? It's like we're regressing...we need a reset on the entire world, everyone just needs a good slap in the face and a "snap out of it!". And people wonder why I'm scared to leave my house.

But anyway, enough of things I can't control (like I have control of the rest of this post either), I've finally got back in to my neurologist last month and got my meds back after 7 months without them, so I'm sleeping again (as much as I can sleep), and my headaches are starting to wane a bit. I also got the results of my nerve test that they did back in October (you guys remember, the one that I had right after Disney World that was absolutely horrible and I cussed like a sailor all the way through in a busy doctor's office?). Well, turns out I have moderate to severe nerve damage (nothing I didn't already know) in my feet and legs. Again, it's probably why I have a high tolerance for pain. My nerves are shot (in more ways than one!).

They also did an EEG because I had an episode where I completely lost a day of time. I have NEVER done that before and I really can't even explain it, but I'm still terrified over it. But the EEG caused numerous panic attacks as well (although I managed to avoid it during, although I don't know how), so I guess I won't be doing that again either. It was the fact that I was forced to keep my eyes closed in a medical setting that I was unfamiliar with, and I'm pretty sure it probably skewed the results of the test. At one point, I was singing a Duran song, reciting Shakespeare, quoting Wentworth's letter to Anne Elliot from Austen's Persuasion, reciting Snow's hope speech from Once Upon A Time, and walking through Disney World in my head, all, pretty much, at the same time. To say my mind was racing, was the understatement of the century! I literally didn't think I was capable of that much thought processing at one time, but the more upset I got, the more layers I kept adding on to distract myself (none of it worked, FYI). I just kept having flashbacks to that damned psych hospital. The joys of PTSD.

I don't know if any of you guys have ever had an EEG, but they basically put this cap on your head, screw in these little electrodes (and I had sores on my head where she screwed them in a bit too far, although I didn't realize it at the time), and then make you close your eyes while they run a series of tests. They eventually do these series where they blasts these flashing lights in front of your closed eyes. For someone who is a seizure risk, that was pretty stupid. I have to admit, by about the third sequence, I rolled my eyes as far back in my head as I could get them to block out as much light as I could (and yes, they were so bright, closed eyes or not, the lights hurt pretty bad). Yes, I'm sure I ruined the results, but I didn't care. My greatest fear is a seizure and I wasn't willing to risk it. When the test was done, she had to pry my hands off the chair and I had torn it with my nails (although it was a pretty crap chair in the first place). I was crying and shaking and I fell back down in the chair and couldn't get back up for about 10 minutes. She had to just let me sit there until I calmed down. Once I got out, I almost started crying again, but my Sister (who went with me, but they wouldn't let her in the EEG room), does that thing that she does that keeps me in check and I immediately stopped myself and I was able to stay composed until I got home that night (and I totally lost it for the rest of the night...thank god I got my Xanax back!).

I've also got in with an ortho and got my knees MRI'ed (MRI's I have no issue with, although between both knees separately and my head, I've had three MRI's in a two-week time span, so that was a bit much). One knee has a benign tumor (what is it with me and benign tumors? More on that in a mo-mo), and both have torn meniscus, very little to no cartilage left, and severe osteoarthritis. I think, of all that, the arthritis was the most surprising part. I don't know why having arthritis shocked me, but it did. I will say though, I had to call work and put off coming back for about an hour. I drove around town a bit and even stopped at a drive-thru and got something to eat (a rarity for me). I had to process the fact that I had another tumor. I think I took that harder than I did the one in my brain. Seriously? Another tumor? Crap.

Anyhoo, They did give me the steroid shots in my knees, and, as per usual me, I had the opposite reaction to every other person on the planet...they said it would take three weeks for me to feel relief, it took three weeks for me to get back to normal! My knees swelled up, they hurt like the dickens, and my right knee would get red down to my ankles at the end of every day. I was super pissed! Almost everyone in my family gets those shots in their joints and, once you start getting them, they are almost addictive, because you have to keep getting them, eventually, more and more frequently to get relief. We also had two dogs that pretty much died from the weight gain from them. Which is why I always swore I would never get these shots in the first place and I was kind of shocked at myself for going "OK" like a dumbass when the nurse practioner offered them up. My family also always claimed they are the most painful thing ever, but I didn't feel a thing. I literally watched that needle go in one side of my knee and almost come out the other side and then rinse and repeat on the other knee. Thank goodness for that nerve damage, huh?

So the plan, at least now, is that I'm meeting with the doctor next week to discuss extracting some of what little cartilage I have left, sending it off to a lab to grow more, and then putting the newly grown cartilage back in my knees to repad them. Sounds kind of sci-fi for Arkansas (and I'll be surprised if my insurance covers it), but if it works, yea me! I haven't even thought about the pain of having cartilage removed and then replaced, but then again, this is me here, I probably won't feel a thing. My Sister is also going to that appointment with me. I'll let her do all the talking. She went to school with him, so she can handle it. I'm just not good with dealing with things anymore. Maybe that way I won't do anything stupid like agreeing to steroid shots again!

When it comes to the tumors though, they are usually caused by repetitive trauma, so I have a new theory, although I've done some research online and I can't find much about it (other than the typical CTE, or Chronic Trauma Encephalopathy, which the issue a lot of football players get...damage to the brain caused my repeat concussions that affect them later in life). What I'm thinking is that, kids with Autistic Spectrum Disorder have issues with banging their heads, knees, hands, whatever, against walls, bedposts, or again, whatever when they are frustrated or angry or unable to convey their feelings across (I did this ALL the time as a kid, and still have a scar on one knee to this day from banging it on a bedpost when I was mad a the age of 2, but not the tumor knee). I'm wondering how many Autisic kids have these types of tumors and if there have been any studies about it..from my limited research, there hasn't been and I think there should be. I also think that other parts of my body should be MRI'ed, because I beat a lot of myself against a lot of surfaces (and still do upon occasion). I'd bet I'm riddled with these tumors. They can turn cancerous, but they usually just tend to cause irritation in old age. I'm getting old now and they are irritating me in various joints. Again though, there aren't a lot of studies of Autistic kids when they get old in any capacity, and there really should be...we do grow up and still are Autistic, you know?

Changing the subject, on the home front, my poor little trailer is falling apart. The roof has been taking some serious hits with all the storms we've had lately. Every storm has had hail and they scream tornado everytime it rains (although we have had some close calls recently, stupid global warming). My air conditioner has also been costing me a pretty penny lately too. It's on its last legs. And don't get me started on the floors. 30 years of inside dogs have done their damage. I've also WAY outgrown that trailer and my house is starting to look like a hoarder house. I'm also getting to the point where I don't even take new things out of the box, and that's how hoarders get started...buying crap and piling it up...boxes and boxes of junk piled everywhere.

So, I've finally taken the leap and started seriously house hunting so I can have more room (for more stuff). Problem is, this is the absolute WORST time to be house hunting! Houses are outrageously expensive, way overpriced for what they are actually worth and don't get me started on interest rates. And homes in the town I'm looking in (the town I grew up in, not the town I currently live in), sell, on average, in 2 to 7 days after posting...I am not kidding. And, somehow, people are paying cash (where is it coming from?). I had to apply for a mortgage first to prove I could afford the houses I wanted to look at (there were only two available at the time), and by the time I got the approval in literally 6 days time, both houses were gone. As of now, there are none available, although I check several times a day. There are also no lots for building a new home, so I'm in limbo. Maybe by the time I find a house, the market will be better and I can get the mortgage company to refinance at a lower interest rate.

On the plus side (yes, there is one), I only have three credit cards left to pay off, one of those will be paid off by the end of June at the latest. The more cards I get paid off, the more money I can get to buy a house (although, again, I don't want to spend that much on a house). Funnily enough, mortgage lenders are a LOT like car salesmen...pushy and try their hardest to talk you into buying something WAY out of your price range. The more I spend, the more my insurance, property taxes, and overall expenses on electric, water, and gas bills will be. No thanks! I just want something that works for me and my boys. I also have to be careful about how much I talk about buying a house, or I'll start having panic attacks. I'll start thinking about all the things I have to have, like lawnmowers, weed eaters, shovels, a new vacuum, yada, yada, yada. The list is endless. It freaks me out. Where is this money supposed to come from? UGH. And when I think about buying a house that I don't know who has lived in it and how many bad ju-ju vibes it might have, double UGH! I would definitely be better off building a new house, but I don't know if that's feasible right now with how much building supplies cost. I'm still waiting on word about that.

To top all that off, (and this is the petty thing) both Duran Duran and Tears for Fears are starting a tour, and I can't go to either. Although, honestly, I don't think that I could go to a concert right now, even if I could get tickets, but still. The new Duran Duran album is the best one in YEARS (although, don't get me wrong, I love the last few too, just this one is massively different), and I'm totally bummed I won't get to see it live, like sick-bummed. Let alone most shows are sold out and the seats that are left are horrible (and outrageously expensive, in the $400 range for the crap seats). When it comes to the TFF shows, there are tickets available, but the shows are pretty far away (not that driving a bit has ever stopped me before), but I would have to go by myself, and I can't do that right now. I have NEVER been to a concert by myself Maybe I could manage Duran, but not anyone else. Oh well, I can't afford that kind of money right now anyway.

So, I guess that's why I've been absent for a while. There's been no stitching, no new trips anywhere, and I've just been waiting for WWIII, while I try to buy a house that doesn't exist. Anyhoo, this was long enough, and "again" was apparently the keyword of this post, because I used it enough, eh? Thanks for listening guys, and I'll try to keep you informed on the home front. Keep your fingers crossed for me and hope I find the perfect house for me and boys with a nice big fenced-in backyard for them to play in and go OUTSIDE to the bathroom (probably for Bam to avoid since he hates grass, so he'll need a concrete patio...again, another expense, someone to spray for bugs, ugh). My knees and my head are what they are, they will either work themselves out or not. See you guys soon and hope you're all OK and taking care of yourself and staying safe!

Answers and Stash

It seems like it's about a 50/50 split on the COVID cut question...some of you guys like getting stuff early, some prefer to wait. That's interesting to me. I've had a week to think about it, but I haven't really changed my opinion. I guess if they do the 6th season of Outlander justice, I'll be OK, but I just have a feeling...

On to other things though (because, if I get started on Outlander, I won't shut up!). I have been buying cross stitch patterns! I did look for Outlander patterns (yes, here I go again), but I couldn't find any really good ones. I did, however, OBVIOUSLY get a FanGirl Stitches one (because, well, obviously!), and some other quote ones for "Dinna Fash", which I thought would work well at work (obviously), but a proper full coverage one still aludes me at the moment.

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I also got some Celtic ones (because I've been in the mood)

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For the first time ever, I did a request a size from HAED, and had them do a supersize of a max color chart, although there was a bit of a snafu and they did it on the original chart first (so, for everyone who wanted a supersize of the original chart, your welcome!). I finally got it straightened out though, and here is the supersize, max color chart for US Travel Bookshelf (because I am definitely a US Traveler!). I want the World Traveler too, but I haven't done much of that...more on that in a minute.

SS-MC US Travel Shelf_000b

So, speaking of world traveling, obviously, right now that's NOT a good idea, but once everything dies down (if it ever does), I've decided it's finally time to break down, stop all this Disney nonsense (and by that, I mean spending thousands of dollars to do nothin but go to Disney World and nowhere else) and go to Scotland! I've been talking to my Sister about it, although she doesn't seem excited. I may have to find another travel buddy for this trip, which is totally fine! I can do that, or even go on my own (although that may prove exponentially more difficult, but can be done).

I'm thinking I'll need three weeks, about the cost of one Disney trip, and I should be able to traverse about every major city, my family's homeland, and other key areas of interest (yes, I mean Outlander sites). It will take a LOT of planning, but I do tend to excel in that, once I set my mind to it. I would have to do England separately, and even probably in two separate trips, one for London, and one for everywhere else. Same with France, one for Paris, one for Disneyland Paris, and one for everywhere else. But again, I think each trip can be done for the price of a Disney World trip, if not cheaper. The amount of money spent on a Disney trip is outrageous, and I haven't been too happy with the way Disney has been managed as of late. Maybe it's time to step away until they "get their affairs in order", if you know what I mean.

So anyway, thanks to everyone for your votes and your opinions! I appreciate your feedback! I asked around work, but most of these people haven't even noticed it or I ended up starting some stupid political debate about the legitmacy of COVID. Seriously, I'm glad I'm learning Gaelic, I'm speaking it more and more in my daily life and no one can understand me! It's better than French, because, invaribly, someone around here had French in high school and can understand me a bit. NO ONE understands Gaelic! It's magical!

The COVID Cut

Just a quick (yeah, right!), side rant...have you guys noticed the COVID cut? By that, I mean, when your favorite shows come back, but the season is shortened, and, if they are based on a book, they have taken certain "liberties" with the story lines due to time restrictions due to COVID, because they just don't have the time to fit it in like they "normally" would?

This weekend, A Discovery of Witches started back on AMC+/Sundance/Shudder in the States (and I'll stop being lazy and italicize the show titles). We only got episode one, but all seven episodes were posted in the UK (it should have been a ten episode arch, but it was "COVID cut" due to the pandemic...oh, and someone "graciously", depending on your definition of the word, posted all seven eps on YouTube, more on that later). A Discovery of Witches is based on a triology of books, so season 3 was destined to be the final season. And yes, it has been almost two years since the finale of season 2, but again, we've been in a pandemic, so allowances must be given (although there was the same amount of time between season 1 and 2, so that might be questionable for this show).

This show, unlike Outlander, takes a lot more allowances from the books, and knowing it was a shortened season (which also meant budgetary cuts because they wouldn't have the crew due to COVID restraints), I knew the story would veer slightly more left than normal, but geez! Granted, I still loved it, but my early question to you is this: would you rather wait until the pandemic is over for your favorite show to return in all its glory, or have a shortened, possibly compromised season, so you don't have to wait?

Before you answer that, I need to admit that, yes, I went on YouTube and watched the leaked version of the rest of the episodes, so I have seen the entire season. I know I shouldn't give support to people who post videos like that, but I pay for the streaming service to see the show (and will continue to until my season airs in its entirety). I will buy the digital version when it's available, as well as the blu-ray version when it comes out. I pay for YouTube Premium. I buy Funkos, companion books, magazines with dedicated spreads...basically, they get their money back from me, one way or the other. Everyone else, well, that's their conscious, not mine. Granted, A Discovery of Witches doesn't have as much merch as Outlander, but when I get into a show, well, let's just say that a studio will get their money back from me, and then some. If Sony doesn't have enough of my money in just electronics, what I got deliveried today just in Outlander merch, probably paid for some poor sap's xmas bonus.

I need to also add that, I didn't hate season 3 of A Discovery of Witches, but it was my favorite of the three books, so I did have certain expectations in my head, even with the liberties of the show. I have the path of the show separate from the path of the books straight in my head and I was pretty sure the direction it was gonna go (or I thought I did) for season 3, but I was VERY wrong except for one story line (and I'm at least grateful they stuck true there, thank you Gallowglass!). I'm usually pretty spot on with my predictions, especially when I have source material to draw from. The COVID cut just butchered almost every story arc in ADOW (I'm gonna shorten A Discovery of Witches now, it's just too long to type) though...without true spoilers, big fights got dropped down to one-on-one's or cut entirely, major speeches became casual comments, and love scenes, became, well, love scene...singular (although ADOW has NEVER been Outlander).

I am not, by nature, a patient person, but I am used to British television, so two to three years in between series of a show isn't that big of a deal for me. I can get in an obsessive streak of a show, but I can still be pretty patient (considering) for the next series, sometimes just watching it on repeat is enough, no new material is needed. If I was given a choice between waiting another year and getting a potential longer season that could have fulfilled the story arc better, I would have glady waited the extra time for better material. And, I guess I should reitterate that, when I say "better", it wasn't horrible, far from it, I still cried like a baby, I just focused a LOT on the lost potential, more than I enjoyed all the good moments, which you really shouldn't do in the finale of a series, and I watched it four times all the way through, just trying to absorb all the little nuances they tried so hard to add in with what little time they had.

I get where people have to work and other fans might not be as patient, but what do you guys think? Have you noticed this trend? When the new season of Outlander starts in March, it will also be a condensed season, COVID cut, which means a lot of book 6 will have to be edited out due to time constraints. I would rather wait another year than have that happen, but apparently, I'm in the minority. I get that all of the movie/TV industry can't just stop, but maybe slow down a bit? If they have to cut things due to time or lack of people, then make season 6 half of book 6 and season 7 the second half of book 6 (each season pretty much follows the storyline of each book, ADOW did the same). Instead of condensation, lengthen it. They could have done the same thing with ADOW, since there are two very main story arcs in that book, one for Diana and one for Matthew, but now, it's too late and I have a lifetime of season 3 being, well, what it is, good, but with the potential of so much greatness.

I was going to make some comment about how I'm glad I don't watch a lot of television because, if I watched dozens of shows and they all came back like this, I'd be super pissed, but thinking on it, I honestly think it's worse when you only watch a couple of shows that you depend on for such high quality. It's not like I have those "burner" shows that I can say "well, I only watch those because there is nothing else to watch on a Monday night". I watch only one or two shows at a time, sometimes for a year at a time on constant repeat. Right now, it's Outlander, and has been for the past couple of months. Every waking home-life hour (which often means I sleep for the three hours my medication knocks me out, and then I'm back up again at 3 am until it's time to get ready for work) is spent watching Outlander, reading Outlander, watching YouTube videos about Outlander, and, when I'm at work, I play the scores to Outlander, all day long. The joys of OCD! But basically, a LOT of energy is spent on ONE show.

This weekend, with the premiere of A Discovery of Witches, was my first Outlander break since the end of November, but by Sunday night, I was back in Outlander world again, to take my mind off ADOW, but I just thought I'd drop you guys a quick (ha!) question blog to see if you've also noticed the COVID cut and get your thoughts on it! Maybe, with a bit of distance, ADOW won't seem so bad, and it might just be that Outlander, which ironically, I never noticed how similar the two actually are, is just higher up my totem pole right now and I'm trying to measure ADOW up to something it can't possibly compare to, at least, not at the moment. But for you guys that maybe watch a lot more TV (or maybe are like me and just watch one show), where do you stand?

Vacations and stitching!

Yep, you read that right...I stitched! Granted, it was VERY paultry, but I did it! I took last week off and spent most of the time sitting on my arse watching Outlander, reading the first two Outlander books, learning Gaelic with Duolingo (I now know my animals, food and some family members as well as greeings, big whoop, but you gotta start somewhere I guess), but I also stitched, on Tartan B, no less! And yes, in typical "me" fashion, I did most all of these things at the same time. I couldn't turn the TV off long enough to stop to do any one of the other things by themselves, so I was often reading during the parts of the show that I didn't like (like when Jamie and Claire were separated for various reasons), learning kiddie Gaelic (often while they were fighting over other things), and stitching (often while I needed to pay attention to the good bits of the show, and could look up at a moments notice at the "important" parts (and need I say what the "important" parts are?).

So, I left off on Tartan B back in December of 2017 here (yep, 2017...sad, but true):

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Only three days of stitching, mind you, but I did make it here, which, considering how I used to stitch it, was about a year's worth of stitching, so I'm pretty proud of myself:

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It actually looks like a "B" finally! I'm still gonna work on it for now. I don't know when my new part-time job will start, and I'm sure it's going to keep me from all these extracurricular activities (except at least watching Outlander...that particular OCD habit I won't be able to give up, I'm in too deep now and it shows no sign of letting up).

I wanted to watch the Harry Potter reunion, but I couldn't stop watching Outlander long enough to do so, so that will have to wait, although I need to do it soon so I can cancel HBO Max (too expensive and I don't watch it). I did manage to get my bedroom carpet steam cleaned, but nothing else got cleaned. I couldn't tear myself away any longer. No gingerbread house this year, no fancy vacation meals (but hey, I lost another 7lbs, so yeah me), and definitely no duckroom rearrangement with the new shelves I bought almost 10 weeks ago now. Oh well, I needed the time to just sit on my behind and relax (or at least that's the story I keep telling myself). I will say, that is definitely a life I could get used to!

I did update my ORT collection, and it is definitely verifiable that I did absolutely no stitching this year. As a matter of fact, if it wasn't for the past week, it would be even more empty that it was before...most of it is the green thread from Tartan B! So here is my TUSAL collection total, with the bottom right being 2021. Sad and shameful!

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If I do keep stitching, I'll post weekly updates here, but daily updates will be on my Instagram page @keeblesworld. And I guess that's it for the updates. I'm not gonna drag any of us down (especially meself, by discussing work, so we'll leave it at that! Here's hoping 2022 brings us a MUCH better year!

Some things change (fast) and some things stay the same

I've been offered a part-time job consulting, and I think I'm going to take it. It's a TON of money, although it's going to be hard to fit it in because of the time they want from me, but it could eventually turn into a full-time position (a work-from-home one at that). Best case scenario, I manage to get myself out of a bad situation...worst case, I manage to make a couple of hundred extra bucks to pay down some bills before they figure out I'm not really good enough for them (but I'll give it my best shot).

The issue is, literally the day before I got this amazing offer, I managed to pick up a new obsession, one that I haven't been able to stop. I've literally spent a ton of money on it, do nothing but think about it all day at work and watch it all night (sometimes I don't eat supper and most nights I rarely sleep). I've ordered the books (hardback, of course), I bought the retired Funkos (don't ask me how much), and I've also ordered the Blu-rays because I want to cancel Netflix. Yep, I fell into the Outlander trap.

I swore I would never watch that show. I'm not a fan of shows that typically depict Scots as savage beasts who rape, slaughter and plunder (even if that was all some of them ever did back in those days). My Scottish blood boils at any representation of the Scots that is negative, true or no. But at the same time, I'm also 42% English, so I'm also not a fan of the same being depicted of Redcoats, again, true or no. I knew this show contained a lot of both, and even being prepared for it, it still pissed me off (although I couldn't take my eyes off a second of it, which shows good writing).

I am also not a fan of shows that make me feel even more lonely than I already am. There is nothing harder than watching two people in that much love, even going through all the ups and downs that Claire and Jamie do. I know people in real life that have strong relationships like that, and I try to stay away from them for the very reason that it reminds me it will never happen to me. I try not to watch TV shows that portray it so vividly like this one. I prefer ones like Once Upon A Time that do it fairytale like. Too intense like Outlander and it hurts my heart. But again, I can't stop watching it. The more I watch, the more I hurt, but also, the more I become obsessed.

What worries me about this new potential job, is that it is going to cut into my obsession time, which typically, in past experience, has NEVER faired well for me. I'm a Spectrum person with extreme OCD, big "O", little "c". If I'm trying to impress an employer and my head is in Scotland (even if it's 17th-18th century Scotland or France or America), it's still not on work and work will suffer. OCD has been something I have never been in control of and there is no "magic pill" for it. It's a mind thing.

And I have no clue how long this particular obsession will last, especially since technically Outlander is still ongoing. A new season will be out soon and I've been literally watching the first four over and over again since Friday (the only ones on Netflix, I'll watch the fifth when I get the Blu-rays tomorrow). I have the books to read yet (and I've been reading very slow lately), nine in total (not including the novellas), plus the two Sam Hueghan wrote himself, as well as his other show on Starz, which I've yet to watch. I've decided to start learning Gaelic again, something I started years ago and quit. I can't speak with a Scottish accent because I can't roll my R's, but I do pretty well with Scots Gaelic because I can do a gutteral R's thanks to five years of French in high school and college.

Needless to say, I've got a lot on my plate, but it's all very familiar somehow. I always seem to fall into the same traps, don't I? And now I feel lonely and miserable on top of it all. Yeah me! Seems like things are getting a bit back to normal...better to be moody and brooding than scared and fidgety, right? Yeah, neither is good, but thus is my life. Somehow, I'll figure out how to work both obsession and work, I always do.

Just an aside...

I miss spell check in Blogger...that is all!!

I'm still here

Both Bam and I have been dealing with medical issues...Bam with his eye and me with my knees. I found out today that Bam can keep his eye (he was in grave danger of losing it), my knees are still up for debate (my doctor, or rather his office, is taking their sweet time about getting me scheduled with the proper someone). Bam came out of the vet's office with his head held high!

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When I posted it on Instagram, I made a little joke about flerkens and him being so close to being pup-Fury and a member of Pups of S.H.I.E.L.D., but I truly am grateful he didn't have to have his eye removed! I was imaging all kinds of horrible scenarios of it getting infected and the bad things that could come from that! Plus, Bam would look horrible in the cone of shame!

I had taken him to work with me this morning because it's just easier than driving across town, then driving back to get him and driving another direction across town to the vets. I had planned to take him home after the vet (if they didn't get him any heavy-duty meds like last time (because my intern doesn't really care for dogs), but I literally barely got to the vets before work was calling me for an "issue" (yet another reason I haven't been blogging, shock, work).

I tried to get back into therapy, even going so far as to agreeing to go back to office visits, but apparently my insurance only covers 30 visits per year and I've already hit that. If I would have known that, I wouldn't have wasted them all on my "temp therapist" while mine was off on emergency leave! That makes me really angry, but there's not much I can do about it. By the time next year rolls around, I won't be able to go to therapy again because it's been way too long, so any progress I might have made over the past year and a half has been a total waste. I will need to make some medicine decisions, since I won't have access to at least one pretty soon, but it is what it is.

I've also been working on my family tree, but it often requires me to order books, since the information from other users is pretty much useless, so it's taking me FOREVER. But honestly, right now, it's the only joy in my life. Most days though, I'm so tired when I get home from work, I don't work on it like I did at the start. I just bring home a new book that I ordered, and pile it on my desk for my next cramming session, whenever that will be.

And that's about it, my boring, albeit quiet, but stil, here life!