Scary things ahead

I'm not sure what head space I'm in right now, but work must be more horrible than I thought it was. You guys know I've been talking for a while about going back to school, but talk and action are two separate worlds. Well, I called my college's disability office yesterday and talked to them for a while. I explained that I think a lot of the issues I had the first four times I tried college and failed was due to my Asperness (and money). They have all kinds of help for Aspers as well as scholarships and I felt so much better after talking to them that I not only started my online financial aid applications for THIS fall's semester, but I finished both the aid app and my readmission app to school this morning!

I may have made the wrong decision going with a BS in Computer Science instead of a BA (too much science courses...not my strong suit, but I change it later if need be, it's not like I haven't changed majors before), but I'm kind of freaking out right now!

I wanted to do this after all my credit card debt was paid off, but I kind of realized that I will probably never be out of credit card debt because I'm just a spender. The only way to change my life is to actually do something, so I did something today! It was a little step, I still have to get accepted for both the financial aid and school (although the school thing is just a formality) and work is going to have a FIT when I have to start leaving for classes (but it's in our personnel manual that they are flexible about that, so they have to let me), but hey, one step at a time! I haven't even told my boss what I did yet. I've mentioned it in passing as a possibility for 2019, but not a definite for 2018.

OMG! I'm going back to school...maybe...possibly! Where is my bottle of Xanax!