Pitiful stitching with no excuses other than laziness!

It's been a couple of weeks since I stitched anything, I left off on The Bride Dollmaker here:

Granted, the first few days of that time were spent worrying about Bam, but he's had his teeth cleaned and, although we're still playing the "I'm not going to eat unless you hand-feed me" (a trap which I'm still falling into), he's doing MUCH better. Ever since then though, I think that, between the miserableness of work (which I should be grateful that I still have a job when so many don't) and the horribleness of the world (when I live in the most protective bubble ever), I just feel like doing absolutely nothing but watching YouTube (excluding Wednesday night's Agent's of S.H.I.E.L.D., where I lament over their lack of Fitz, which puts me in an even bigger funk). I just can't bring myself to stitch at all anymore and I have no excuse. If I didn't have such a stupidly cheerful demeanor most times (could that be med related?), I'd say I was depressed. But I don't feel depressed. I just hate my job, hate my surroundings, hate everything happening in the world and feel helpless to fix it, and just want to go home and shut my brain off. But otherwise, I love my pups, my stuff, love watching various YouTuber's do their thing, and am anxiously awaiting the moment when I can do my ninja warrior road trips again (I want to beat my 34 hours straight record), although there is no telling when travel will be safe again (or when I will feel safe traveling, a completely different animal).

I decided this weekend to change my blaa mood, and I did, sort of. Saturday, I stitched all of an hour, and Sunday, all of 10 minutes! Shameful! But needless to say, I made it to here:

Again, SHAMEFUL! Saturday was all YouTube, Sunday was more of a "trying to do stuff" day, like laundry and cleaning, but never really doing anything day, because I just ended up watching Kissing Booth 2 (which meant I had to watch the first one again...wasn't a fan of the second one, so I had to watch both the To All The Boys again to even it out), then I just watched YouTube till I fell asleep with laundry in both the dryer and washer (yea me for tonight).

Bam Bam has cleaner teeth than I do!

After a weekend of whining and we're still doing the "Mommy, please feed me or I'm not going to eat" mess (which I am going to stop tonight...either eat on your own son, or go hungry, thems the rules from now on), Bam is doing WAY better! It must have been all the good vibes you guys sent our way!

I didn't get any stitching done because we did still play this all weekend:

I did manage to put my new coffee table together (after it sitting in my duckroom for three weeks). I got tired of looking at this mess (please forgive the carpet and the rugs...27 years of cycles of elderly dogs does a number on carpet, not to mention the time that my ex-husband (then husband) thought it would be a good idea to put bleach in the carpet cleaner...don't ask...and I'm not going to replace the carpet until we move out anyway because it will just get ruined again before then):

I had styrofoam ALL over the floor by the time I got done and was vacuuming everywhere, but at least my table is clean now thanks to my new table! It won't go to the new house because that house will have a different color scheme, but it will last until I do. I just couldn't take looking at that mess any longer. It wasn't very expensive anyway (although it was a bit higher than the $29 I paid for the other one that I bought at K-Mart about 15 years ago).

Oh, the joys of actually having books on the coffee table again! And the reason why is because all the junk is hidden inside!

Two-thirds of it lift up like a desk and swing towards me with a hidden compartment underneath and one-third of it slides over with a hidden compartment underneath that section. Tons and tons of storage! Now I just need to get new little bins to put stuff in, although most of the stuff on my old table fit inside, including the basket, so it is pretty deep. Ironically enough though, it is lower to the ground, and the boys keep whacking their heads against it when they try to run under it. I shouldn't laugh, but I do (every single time) because they bugged the crap out of me when I was trying to build it! I'm an expert at building box furniture (which usually recommends two people, a luxury I don't have), but two annoying pups, don't make another human and they definitely don't help the situation, even for me!

Bugs always wants to stand in the middle of everything and Bam is always trying to steal things, like styrofoam (dangerous), plastic bags (even more dangerous) or screws (even worse). I think Bam is just a petty thief and Bugs just likes to be in thick of things. At one point, I tried handing Bugs the screwdriver and asked him if he wanted to put it together, but I think he thought I was going to hit him with it, and he ran off. I did feel bad after that. Sometimes I forget that both these guys were abused before I got them. There was no telling what they were hit with. So I had to stop for a while and play with him, which made Bam jealous, so I had to play with Bam too. It's probably why it took me two bloody hours to put the stupid thing together!

So that was my weekend, babying babies and putting a tiny table together...such progress! What a thrill my life is, and here I am thinking of starting a YouTube Channel, like I'm interesting enough for that!

Bam Bam The Brave

So, my baby boy got his teeth cleaned and all went well! They got a late start (apparently). I dropped him off at 8 a.m. and, when I hadn't heard anything by 2 p.m., I called because I was freaking out, but they hadn't even started on him yet...they were three dogs behind (just like when I go to the doctor!). I made the mistake of watching their video on the teeth cleaning procedure and really lost it then! I work in the medical field and even I couldn't take it, but maybe because it was a dog and not a human. They should at least redo it with a gentler hand doing the tube insertion or something! I was sitting at my desk crying just imagining them doing that to my baby (warning...watch at your own risk...it's a bit graphic).

Needless to say, by 4, he was in recovery, and by 6:30, he was still a bit "hungover":

Looks like I picked him up at the bar, right? But he was doing well, all torture considered. No extractions, no complications, just a lot of soreness. They said he couldn't drink water, but he could eat ice. He's the one dog that I've ever had that just will NOT eat ice (of course) and I tried to tell them that, but they just said, "well, give it a try"...yeah, Bam will eat ice the day I eat popcorn...I could be stranded on a desert island with no food but a bag of microwave popcorn and I would starve to death! Bam is like that with ice. Needless to say, I fed him water from my fingertips.

He wouldn't get too far from me for the rest of the night, always touching me in some way, but every time he moved, he would cry out and it was sad. Finally, we just played "hold the baby" the rest of the night until we both fell asleep.

Probably laying him on his back wasn't the wisest plan, but it was what it was. By the morning, he was spooned beside me on the couch (as per usual), so apparently we moved at some point in the night.

He was coughing a bit this morning, and super dumb me, in my morning stupor (I don't really wake up until about 11, no matter how early I'm physically awake), I handed them their Pupperoni's as normal. He's not supposed to have solid food! By the time I realized what I had done, it was too late and he had finished most of it. I let him finish the rest. I also let him drink from the water bowl this morning (under supervision) and that seemed to help his coughing. My brain can't process that much thought in the morning. So that I don't forget (because it's not part of my morning routine), I literally have to put his med box beside my meds (which is beside my watch to remind me to put it on), just to remind me to give him his meds because they are in the fridge. I guess I'll need to put a slice of cheese on top of his med bottle for in the morning because he does have to take it with food. That's the only way I'll remember not to give him a Pupperoni. Bad me. But since he is taking pain killers and antibiotics, maybe I didn't do any damage. They always say the same thing to me when I leave the dentist, and I typically go straight to Sonic and get a Coke Zero with Nerds or a Cookie Dough Blast or something stupid and I lived through it, so I'm hoping they were just being overly cautious and I didn't do any permanent damage! I'm willing to tempt fate with myself, but not my kid!

Bam Bam update...ongoing

Both boys went to the groomer yesterday, which they DESPERATELY needed:

So while they were at the groomers (which is connected to the vet), I had them take a look at Bam (even though I was terrified at what they would find). I had them run a complete blood panel and, other than one anomaly that I don't like and they couldn't explain (his red blood cell count was low, with no key indicators in the other levels that could explain it), he apparently just needs his teeth cleaned because he does have some irritation at the gum line and some tartar buildup. He gets a Dentabone everyday, but he is older, and a Shih-Tzu, so he does tend to eat those typically either on one side, or in the middle teeth area, not really hitting the front or back teeth. He's also been losing front teeth like crazy, which probably means I'm going to be seeing his tongue slip out of his mouth soon like one of those Chinese Crested's that win all those ugly dog contests...joy.

Needless to say, they didn't have an appointment available for three bloody weeks! I kind of blew up on them over that. Especially since I was worried about him wasting away by not eating. Apparently that's a non issue...the little monster has literally gained an entire pound since the last time he had a check-up, and is now OVERWEIGHT! I kind of got a bit of a lecture for giving him pure protein and raising his BUN levels (I had to get him to eat something, and chicken and hamburger seemed like the best option, right?), but now I have to cut back on his Pupperoni intake (which he will NOT like).

But, before the day was over and haircuts were finished, the vet's office did call back with a cancelation for this Thursday, so I managed to get him squeezed in WAY sooner than three weeks, so yea Bam! And they both came out super handsome!

Although I'm not sure a CBC, feeling around on a 10.5 lb pup, an antibiotic, and basically liquid baby aspirin is worth $260. I'm a bit scared for what the cleaning is going to cost, since they have to put them to sleep to do it, but it is what it is, and he needs it. Thank goodness for CareCredit! I've also been thinking that, if Bam was the one that ate my Apple Pencil, he might have a wire in his stomach causing him to bleed a bit (although you'd think I'd see evidence of that, and he probably would have sloughed that off by now, since it's been a month). I may spend the extra $100 to have them do an x-ray just in case. I'm fairly sure that was Bugsy's handy-work, but might be better safe than sorry, and he'll already be asleep. Couldn't hurt, right?

The vet did mention that the low red cell count might be an early indication of IMHA (Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia), but that's not typically a Shih-Tzu related issue, and I kind of brushed him off on that one (which he didn't like). I did tell him in our early conversations that I'm not a fan of the young vets at the clinic (which he is), just because I've had REALLY bad luck with them, especially the women ones for some reason (and I would really prefer a woman vet, but for some reason, there I can't trust them). My vet's office has two of the top vets in our state and the other one is probably one of the top 10, so I tend to stick with them. Plus, since I've been going there for 30+ years, I have the privilege of having access to those three vets, whereas newer patients don't really get a choice.

But, by the end of the day, this guy seemed to win me over because I am going to allow him to work on my baby. I did (very nicely) threaten his life if something should go wrong and warned him that, if he didn't feel confident in what he was doing, that he needed to stop immediately and either let one of the others take over, or stop and we will wait another day when one of the others can do it. He seemed ok with that and didn't seem to mind much that I was leery of him. Should I be worried about that? Maybe he gets that a lot from "old" people? Or maybe it's just something the young ones deal with coming in to that particular vet office. Everyone wants to see the "wonder" docs. Whatever the case may be, he did seem a bit more knowledgeable than I'm used to from those younger ones (even if I think he was overshooting on the IMHA).

Ironically enough, I have seen two of the younger ones back in the day. The vet that took care of my beloved Zander back in the day was younger and was AH-MAZ-ING, although he left right afterwards to open his own practice, so maybe they aren't all bad (but his dog was going through the same thing Zander was at the same time, and he had to put his down exactly one week before Zander, and the stress of both of those was what caused him to leave the "hospital" environment of my vet's office and open his practice, which doesn't do hospital work...he still uses my vet as his hospital).

After he left, I saw a woman vet for a brief time with Zachary, she did two of his three bladder surgeries, but she apparently couldn't take all the death, so she quit being a vet and is now a phlebotomist at the hospital across the street! Who gives up that all that education (and money) to draw blood on screaming kids for the same amount of money you could make at McDonalds? Surely, she could have gone into research or SOMETHING else? I run into her at the hospital (or did run, when I could get into the hospital) all the time.

But it went downhill from there. It was the young ones that refused to meet me at the office when Zachary was dying because it was a holiday, so I had to spend three hours watching him die in my arms. It was a young one that cut one of Bam's nails too short and left him bleeding like a stuck pig (and tried to blame me...figure that one out). It was a young one that skipped Bugsy's heartworm medicine, which I happen to catch and called him out on (and he didn't like it and tried to say he did give it to him...it got heated but, needless to say, one of the older docs came in and Bugs got his shot). When Bugsy was rescued, he had heartworms and had to go through TWO treatments to get rid of them. Considering we're in the South in mosquito country, that medicine is CRUCIAL for dogs here, let alone a dog who has had heartworms in the past. Since I normally take my boys in on a Saturday, which is walk-in-day, they always ask, "do you have a vet preference?". If you say "no", you get in quicker, but that often means you get a young vet. Now, I call on Friday, find out which docs are working, and make sure I ask for one of whichever of the three older ones are working, even if it means we sit there for four hours (which we had done many a time), even if we are the first ones through the door. Better safe than sorry.

Funny side note, my Sister's dog is getting his shots Thursday as well, so my Brother-In-Law is bringing him in...he's a White Lab. They have to put him to sleep just to get him out of the truck! That dog is a HORSE. He has dog toys bigger than my Bam! So at least the cousins will be together that day, even if in dreamland!

Anyhoo, send out the good vibes Bam's way for Thursday, because the little guy is gonna be in a LOT of pain for a few days and let's just hope that's his ONLY problem! IMHA is a death sentence and I don't even want to go there, but they are going to have to do a LOT more convincing than a low RBC count to make me believe he has IMHA!

Sucky Stitching, but I have my reasons

For the 4th of July week prior, I didn't stitch because I had the worst week ever at work! It seems like, here lately, work keeps getting worse, but each level of "worse" is different. It's not certain situations that keep getting worse, it's new levels of problems, new issues, new doctors coming on, software problems, just random things hitting me from areas that I'm not used too...random chaos, and I don't like, nor function, well in chaos. So, with the holiday weekend and the three days off, I spent them doing something I apparently haven't done very well for quite a while...I cleaned my house! It took me almost all of the three days, and I could barely move for most of the week afterwards. But I did manage some stitching late on that Sunday. It sucked. But I left off last time here:

And barely made it to here because my hands were shaking from the cleaning:

Last week wasn't any better at work...it was a different level of worse. A whole new set of problems, each completely different than the previous week, but the previous weeks issues were all still piled up. Considering that a lot of my problems stem from the company I considered leaving here for, I don't regret my decision not to quit and move to California, but still, I'm getting too old to deal with some of these issues. It's just too much for one person.

On top of that stress, I've started to notice an issue with Bam, and I'm almost scared to mention it, but towards the middle of the week, he stopped wanting to eat. He would eat if I hand-fed him, which I know Zander used to do back in the day to play me and I don't want to start that trend if Bam is playing me, but since he is a rescue, and I don't know his real age, and it's obvious he is getting old, it's worrying me, so hand feeding it was. Then he got to the point by the end of the week where he wouldn't even accept that. He would eat his Dentabones and Pupperonis, but not his food, so I switched to boiled chicken and rice and hamburger meat, which he would eat if I hand-fed it to him, but usually not all of it. He's drinking fine, he's bathroom-ing fine, he's playing fine. His teeth seem OK, he doesn't grunt or groan when I squeeze across his torso, his heart is not loud, I've checked his dew claws and they are fine, no growing in, but I can't figure it out no matter how much I poke and prod at him.

I debated just taking him up to the vet on Saturday, but he seemed better then, so I didn't. By Sunday, I regretted that, so I called them this morning and they are supposed to call me back. He is getting a haircut on Tuesday and it is SWELTERING here, but he's always inside and, although I keep it warmer than most, my dogs have always been as cold-natured as I am, so they have never minded. Maybe now, he does mind. Once he gets his hair cut, maybe he'll go back to normal. But best to take him to the vet, spend a couple of hundred and have some tests run just to find out he's a big faker, than to keep worrying and find out that something is seriously wrong and I did nothing. Then again, I'm terrified there is something wrong. I'm definitely not ready to lose him. I knew taking on a rescue was a risk...they thought he was 5, but they didn't really know, he could have been older or younger. I've already had him for 7 years, so either way, he's a senior dog, especially for a pure bred Shih-Tzu. If it's something serious like cancer, I can't afford those treatments like my Sister could, so what am I going to do? I've had to put one down and I've watched one die horribly in front of me, I don't think I can do either again...sorry, I just can't think about that right now. Moving on...

But, once again, just on Sunday, I did stitch some, when I wasn't waking Bam up to check on him, so here is a bit more progress:

I'm going to keep working on the Bride until I finish this row, I'm determined on that, but at this rate, it could take me forever! I have to get back to stitching on the regular again. When it comes to work, I have to leave it at work, and Bam, well, one step at a time...vet first, then worry. Total face of a faker, right?