OCD in full effect!

I did go back to watching Once, but I did take a break on Monday to watch last week's episode of "Agent's of SHIELD"...problem is, it was such an AMAZING episode, I have literally watched it over and over and over again all week long! It is the absolute PERFECT Fitzsimmons shipper episode and it is the episode that the fans have been waiting for since the beginning (well, at least this fan)! I know how the Fitzsimmons cannon goes, and I'm fully aware that there is some horrible disaster waiting one or two episodes from now, but for the moment, I'm still basking in the glory that was episode 06x06 Inescapable!

There are already numerous fan videos popping up on YouTube for it, almost as many as there are for the entire Fitzsimmons history...which says a lot about the episode, but this is one of my favorites because it ties some flashback scenes from older episodes into it (although I wish it had some of the funnier moments with their "alter bad selves" that were funny as hell!).

As of now, I have no plans to stop watching the episode and go back to Once, well at least until the aforementioned usual horrible event happens and everything gets ruined (again). Maybe we will get lucky and they will leave them alone for a while and let them actually be happy for a change! Here's hoping!

Back to Once and Stitching (well, sort of)

I am fully back to Once Upon A Time...after a week of watching every single horror movie left in Amazon Prime's arsenal of junk horror (and, believe me, it's a massive arsenal). I found where they have added "Wings"...one of my favorite shows from the 80's, and one of the few American sitcoms I ever watched. I tried to watch it, but I noticed that, in the middle of season 1, I was suddenly in season 2 and then back to season 1 again, only to jump back to the episodes of season 2 they had already played. I gave up and just decided that was my clue that it was just time to settle in and watch Once again. I have "Wings" on DVD anyway, so it's not like I can't watch it anytime I want, it was just kinda cool being able to stream it!

Anyhoo, by Sunday afternoon, the stitchy bug struck again and, even though I didn't do much, I guess it's better than nothing! I don't usually take my Ritalin on the weekends and it's harder for me to focus on anything when I don't take it, so I can't really sit still for too long without getting distracted by some other weird task. I left off here last time back at the end of May:

And a couple of hours later, I managed a bit more fill in (but still on the same color):

I thought about changing projects, but I was honestly just too lazy to switch out the projects on my lap stand! So sad!

On the trip front...I'm still working on my New Mexico/Arizona solo trip. I have to get it down to four days, which won't be easy when I keep adding stops, but I think I've narrowed it down enough. I can always go back and do the northern-most parts of those states and go further along later. There is nothing that says I have to do it all this trip (and yes, I am saying that as more of a reminder to myself more than anything...I'm still not getting the message just yet)! The whole purpose of this trip was just to go to Meteor Crater, but then I realized all the cool places I could hit along the way like Roswell, the Large Satellite Array, White Sands, and dozens of others. Then I figured out how close the Grand Canyon was, so I ended up adding that. But then I also realized that Hoover Dam wasn't that far away from the Grand Canyon either and things just kept getting out of control, so I just went back and started deleting stops one by one until I had a workable trip. It's still pretty scattered road-wise, but I can make it work (I hope!). Hoover Dam will just have to wait until a future trip unless I somehow make excellent time on this trip. I would at least like to cross over into the Nevada border to cross off another state on my map.

But the weekend before I was meant to leave on that trip, my Sister has to go to Chicago on business and she asked me if I wanted to go with her. Since my above trip hits a lot of Route 66, and I've been at the very end of Route 66 at Santa Monica when I went to California in 2015, I suddenly had an epiphany! I've been through Chicago before, but never actually seen the start of Route 66 sign, so I had the idea that I could drive up to meet my Sister (she is flying, of course) and then I could drive Route 66 all the way to my destinations, just extending my trip out a bit more, maybe going through Marcelline, etc on my way down. But then logic kicked in...that's a VERY long trip...too long to be away from home. It would just be easier to fly up with her to Chicago, do some bus tours while she is in meetings, then us have a couple of days of doing things, come home and a couple of days later leave on the trip I have planned. I can still see the Route 66 sign whether I drive or fly. If I did the full road trip, I do have puppies that would have to be boarded, it would be more gas and more hotels than I was expecting to pay for, whereas my Sister's trip is already paid for. One of these days I'm going to learn moderation...I'm not sure when, but someday!

Speaking of "the map", did I tell you guys I bought one of those maps that you scratch off all the states that you've visited? It's one of the reason's why I have such a hankering to travel lately. I thought I had been to way more states than I actually had, but when I got to scratching, I realized I really haven't traveled the U.S. nearly as much as I thought I had. I knew the West was lacking, but I was surprised to find that middle America (other than the South) was pretty lacking too! And some states up North that I thought I had been to, apparently I was mistaken there as well. I did scratch off all the coastal areas that I have hit, which is apparently more than the land areas, but those maps are extremely scratch sensitive and it was very easy to scratch too deep and take all the color off. I may get another one just because. I also didn't like that you couldn't scratch off just part of a state...some states I've covered every square inch, but others I've just skirted or just hit one or two towns. That may be because the states were small because I got one with Canada and Mexico on it, since I've been in both (again, just a quick drive through and it felt weird scratching off all of Ontario when I've only ever been to the Canadian side of Niagara Falls plus a couple of hours drive through the countryside and Mexico was basically crossing over through a store that was half in Texas and half in Mexico...it was the very early 80's), but that was WAY before you needed passports to visit either. But when it comes to the unscratched-off states, oh well, trip goals! Although, nothing about this new trip will help other than Arizona unless I manage to somehow cross the Nevada border.

Well...still no stitching and NOTHING left on the planet to watch!

I have literally watched EVERYTHING that Netflix, Amazon Prime and Hulu has to offer as well as most of YouTube! There is nothing left that I either have never seen before, or don't already own! I watched the third (and final) season of Jessica Jones this weekend. It ended kinda blaa for those series. I don't want to give spoilers for those who haven't seen it yet though, so I'll hold off on details for a while. I watched enough horror movies to make me question my sanity because ALL OF THEM ARE THE SAME! I watched tons of reaction vids on YouTube as well as more space docs and I am just worn out!

I do think it's just time to head back to Once and start stitching again. I think I have just exhausted all other options. I know I didn't want to get back into that OCD loop again, but it's comforting, it helps me stitch, and seriously, what harm does it actually do? Just because a behavior is technically bad on paper, does that necessarily mean it's bad for me? I personally don't think so, but there is always a "but". It doesn't affect my behavior overall, so I'm not sure why I have such issue with it, other than, when someone asks me what I'm watching and I say Once, they go "again?", more as an accusation rather than a question and I feel awkward about it (and, I can't lie, so it comes out of my mouth before I can process to deflect the question to another subject rather than answering it). I've been over that "childhood over-compensating pleasing stage" years and have been at the "I don't care what you think of me stage", but here lately, I've notice I've started reverting to what others think of me again. I catch myself watching expressions of others when I say things (although I still have major issues trying to read those expressions) and I worry if I've said the right thing, even to something as basic as "hello". I'm not sure what is causing it, but I wish it would stop. I spent years getting over all that teenage crap, I'd hate to revert now!

This weekend I also tried to avoid all things Father's Day. That's one of the roughest holidays for me. It's hard loving a man who technically only lives about 10 miles from me and is only separated because of some imaginary slight that neither one of us can remember, but neither one of us is willing to break. So, over 20 years later, here we are. The joys of Scottish pride! Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, but I seriously doubt he thinks of me at all and that's the key that keeps me away because, finding out for sure that my Father doesn't love me would be the one thing that would truly break me for good. Besides, he's also part of a "package"...a very large, damaged, drama-filled package that my fragile state of mind just can't handle. Those people are just too much and they are so exhausting just to be around, so remembering that also helps me stay away. Aspers are weird when it comes to emotional attachments...we usually don't form them except for a few special circumstances but, when we do, those bonds are REALLY strong. I've formed two, my Sister and my Father (they aren't related). Thankfully, at least my Sister is around and I can't imagine life without her! My Father is just that empty place in my soul that hurts all the time. He and I are SOOO much alike (and I'm sure that's who I got my Asper-ness from), and we were really close when I was young, which is probably why it feels like a piece of me is missing. I do wonder why he doesn't feel the same now and what changed. If my bond still feels this strong, even after 20 years apart, why doesn't his? I've analyzed it to death and it's a futile pursuit, so let's change the subject, shall we?

I did want to show you the "Because you watched a documentary about space and the Earth as told by astronauts, we think "Friends" is a good fit" screenshot...granted, I have watched a few more programs, including Jessica Jones and a few episodes of "The Chef Show" with Jon Favreau, so it influenced things a bit more than before (hence the change in the documentary recommendations), but still..."Friends"?

The hippies also FINALLY got a haircut. They look a bit like a two-headed Shih-Cerberus here ready to attack, but they are still pretty cute!

It's a lot better than this miserable mess:

If they didn't grow overnight and she didn't stay booked up months in advance, I could stay on top of it better! I used to groom my kids myself, but once I got Bugs, he had been abused so much, there was NO WAY I was going to get near him with clippers, so I started taking him to the groomer and I figured, well, might as well take Bam too, and then I just got lazy! Half the time though, I still have to "fix" them when I get them home anyway...she always misses chunks of hair somehow.

Here's hoping (yet again), I manage some stitching this weekend!

Coolest thing I've ever seen!

So, in my daily news check today, I ran across a news article about one of my favorite childhood actors (one of my first major actor crushes) and how he snapped back at a couple of Canadian politicians for using his grandfather's name to push their political agendas (article HERE). I'm not on Twitter myself anymore, but I do read quite a few celebrity tweets on a daily basis (because some of them are actually intelligent people who think a lot like me and aren't afraid to say what's on their mind), so I decided to check out his Twitter page too and, as I read through, I discovered he has a blog, which I headed over to as well, just to see what he had to say. I have to admit, I was quite impressed! I know a lot of celebrities have blogs, and that in itself isn't such a great feat...some of them are good, some of them you can just tell their people do for them, but this one just snagged me right away (and not just because he STILL has "it" in my book). His music career I was aware of, but what caught me off guard, was the fact that he does cooking videos! There are only four, but seriously...Kiefer Sutherland does cooking videos! Mic drop please!


You can tell that he definitely gets more comfortable by this one...although I do have to question why he isn't recycling all that aluminum foil!

This is the latest one (not on his blog for some reason) and the sound is a bit off, but again, dude is getting WAY better...I think he's ready for his own show!

Still searching for the "perfect" stitching show (and failing), but working on pissing off the world

I decided to do a Starz free preview this week (I can do numerous movie channel previews for 7 days through Amazon Prime, and I thought I had done most, apparently not). My Sister has been going on and on about "American Gods" and how much she thought I'd love that show, so I thought I'd give it a go. And warning, this post might be offensive to some. I don't mean it to be, I'm just being my usual blatant Asper self! Religion is one of those topics that you can't have an open conversation about because, despite their teachings to the contrary, it's a very selfish and personal thing and people get violently defensive about their religion. It's a behavior I just don't understand, but here we go anyway because I feel a rant coming on!

One thing to know about me...I was Christened Catholic and raised Southern Baptist, so when I got up to a certain age (16 to be exact), and started questioning everything. My mother is the kind of person who has ALWAYS said two things that walks all over my nerves..."just because" and "look it up". But unfortunately, it created a certain response behavior in me that exists to this very day. If someone says to me "just because", I get extremely pissed and tend to start asking serious, often extremely uncomfortable questions just to annoy because that is NOT an answer and, if I get interested in something, I tend to collect (and read ad-nauseum) every book I can find on the subject. These two things often go hand-in-hand and tend to make me incredibly (or dangerously, depending on who you ask) knowledgeable about the stupidest of subjects (hence a head full of useless information).

The worst thing you can say in church is "why?", they give you what they consider a legitimate answer (but basically a non-answer) and you follow it up with a "but why?" because they really didn't answer you at all. They don't understand why you keep asking because they think they've answered you, you keep asking because they haven't answered a bloody thing, just threw bible quotes at you (or said those magic words, "because the bible said so") and you suddenly find yourself looking for answers elsewhere (a BIG no-no in most Christian churches, especially in the South). Had I not left voluntarily, they probably would have kicked me out.

Needless to say, I have a semi-working knowledge of Christianity and its Pagan origins (as well as other mono and polytheistic religions). It's all pretty fascinating, but enough to have granted me my own special room in hell (at least according to my mother) because it made me question everything (again, a BIG no-no). I see it more as recognizing the broader view of religion, because ultimately, they are all connected and are all, in the broad strokes, pretty much the same overall...basically, same story told from different points of view. One pops up, steals various important points from the one before it, modifies the information to suit the current model and adapts accordingly. Step outside the bubble and it's a LOT easier to see that, but maybe that's just another Asper trait...not everyone can step outside their own bubble. I do it quite a lot.

Nowadays, I'm not religious, but I do consider myself a very spiritual person. Study numerous religions and the color of jade sneaks in, but you can't look at the wonder of the universe and not think that there are higher powers in play. When all is said and done though, I don't think we're important enough to question those higher forces, let alone mandate what they are and our place in their master plan (as religion tries to do). If anything, that's humanity's arrogance, thinking they know what the powers that be are, let alone what they want from us and that we are "made in their image". Maybe, every blue moon, someone is enlightened to a tidbit of the information and a religion is born, but otherwise, I see religion as humanity's creation (often by those in power to control those who are not) and spirituality as something that just "is". But I digress, because now I'm offering opinions, the very definition I'm throwing out for religion.

But "American Gods"...wow! How right they got some of these origins and how really uncomfortable I got a lot of the time when they got extra creative with the details! Despite my lack of Christianity, there is still that 15 years of Christian conditioning (or brainwashing as the hippies would call it) and I squirmed a lot! It's one thing to know where Easter came from and why the Christians adopted it as a religious holiday, it's another thing to see Kristin Chenoweth in a Easter colored-filled house with candy everywhere, talking to spy bunnies, hosting a party filled with Jesus's from every nationality (because every country has their own Jesus with the appropriate skin color and language), walking past an obvious Jesuit priest with the stigmata and jelly beans flowing through this wound holes, various other gods snacking on macaroons and Easter eggs and her soaking up the "real" worship because she is Ostara, goddess of the dawn and she's piggy-backing off of the worship that Jesus gets! Granted, most of the Germanic/Nordic gods probably came after Christianity (or at least were written down afterwards), but the origins of the Sun gods and the Spring solstice go all the way back to the Neanderthals and pre homo sapiens. They migrated their homes based on the Spring equinox and gave offerings for a safe passage. She played off this too, but the whole Easter candy thing went WAY too far, even for the sake of comedy. I did finish the series, but it makes me wonder about the Christians who watch the show and how much do they actually know about the origins of their religion (if at all) because I could see a massive backlash otherwise!

"American Gods" was good, if you know nothing about religion other than the basics and think every other religion that came before (or since) are just myths. One day, Christianity will be just a myth to whatever religion replaces it, but for now, our Ilu, Zeus, Jupiter, Taranis or as many polys as you can think of hold that top spot! I wonder if, in the future, when Christianity gets replaced, we'll end up back with polytheistic gods or stay with a monotheistic? Polys actually make more sense to me in the pantheon of religion (if you're going to practice it) and, if you want to get technical about it, Christianity, as well as other monotheistic religions, are basically a polytheistic religions anyway...god (or whatever name they call it in their various versions) at the top, Jesus (or again, whoever is their top prophet), Mary (for the Catholics), the saints, the angels, satan...etc. Again, same story, different storytellers. And I also just realized that Christianity as well as Islam basically just Fifty Shaded their bible from the Avesta and the Zoroastrians anyway! But they all did a heck of a lot of damage to get their messages across and "gain" followers just, as I'm sure, the next one will also do. I love to throw the Crusaders in the face of one particular Pentecostal co-worker who is extremely anti-Muslim (although she thinks Crusaders were Catholic and therefore NOT Christian...I can't convince her that Catholics ARE Christians!). She thinks all Muslims are terrorists and Jews are evil (although I have to remind her that Jesus WAS a Jew). She will often defend the Crusades as "missionary work" and I always point out that rape, pillage, plunder, torture and massacre is ALWAYS the best way to bring someone over to your way of thinking! Suicide bombers are humane in comparison! Ah, the joys of trying to reason with the religious.

Which is why, I started watching "Black Sails" and LOVE that show! Granted, it's still not a stitching show, but at least I'm extremely entertained and not uncomfortable in the least...the raping, pillaging, plundering, torturing and massacring are all in the name of treasure, so it's OK! I can watch pirates all day and not have to think about these deep religious implications because, frankly, they make my head hurt!

Just a quick Netflix rant followup

Just a quick funny story...this week I've been watching a documentary called "One Strange Rock" on Netflix...basically a science/astronomy documentary from Darren Aronofsky that talks about our planet, our solar system, and our universe from the view of astronauts who have spent time on the International Space Station (and, unfortunately, it is narrated by Will Smith, not a favorite of mine, but still). It's been an AMAZING show and now I'm looking for other new space documentaries to watch, not an easy feat since I've watched most of them or they are too old and out-dated. Thankfully, the recommendations are actually changing to reflect this (shock). But in the list of ACTUAL science shows, is a documentary on flat-earthers and how their beliefs are spreading into a real movement. Seriously? I expected the UFO documentaries to start next (because I think I've made it clear how I feel about flat-earthers and their "science"...seriously, WHAT are they teaching in schools nowadays), but no, the next show RIGHT behind the flat-earth documentary, was FRIENDS! OMG! How, in all that is holy, is FRIENDS a documentary? WTF? I should have taken a picture of it! But then again, if they are going to flat-earthers to science docs, you just might as well add Friends to the list too!