Well...still no stitching and NOTHING left on the planet to watch!
I have literally watched EVERYTHING that Netflix, Amazon Prime and Hulu has to offer as well as most of YouTube! There is nothing left that I either have never seen before, or don't already own! I watched the third (and final) season of Jessica Jones this weekend. It ended kinda blaa for those series. I don't want to give spoilers for those who haven't seen it yet though, so I'll hold off on details for a while. I watched enough horror movies to make me question my sanity because ALL OF THEM ARE THE SAME! I watched tons of reaction vids on YouTube as well as more space docs and I am just worn out!
I do think it's just time to head back to Once and start stitching again. I think I have just exhausted all other options. I know I didn't want to get back into that OCD loop again, but it's comforting, it helps me stitch, and seriously, what harm does it actually do? Just because a behavior is technically bad on paper, does that necessarily mean it's bad for me? I personally don't think so, but there is always a "but". It doesn't affect my behavior overall, so I'm not sure why I have such issue with it, other than, when someone asks me what I'm watching and I say Once, they go "again?", more as an accusation rather than a question and I feel awkward about it (and, I can't lie, so it comes out of my mouth before I can process to deflect the question to another subject rather than answering it). I've been over that "childhood over-compensating pleasing stage" years and have been at the "I don't care what you think of me stage", but here lately, I've notice I've started reverting to what others think of me again. I catch myself watching expressions of others when I say things (although I still have major issues trying to read those expressions) and I worry if I've said the right thing, even to something as basic as "hello". I'm not sure what is causing it, but I wish it would stop. I spent years getting over all that teenage crap, I'd hate to revert now!
This weekend I also tried to avoid all things Father's Day. That's one of the roughest holidays for me. It's hard loving a man who technically only lives about 10 miles from me and is only separated because of some imaginary slight that neither one of us can remember, but neither one of us is willing to break. So, over 20 years later, here we are. The joys of Scottish pride! Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, but I seriously doubt he thinks of me at all and that's the key that keeps me away because, finding out for sure that my Father doesn't love me would be the one thing that would truly break me for good. Besides, he's also part of a "package"...a very large, damaged, drama-filled package that my fragile state of mind just can't handle. Those people are just too much and they are so exhausting just to be around, so remembering that also helps me stay away. Aspers are weird when it comes to emotional attachments...we usually don't form them except for a few special circumstances but, when we do, those bonds are REALLY strong. I've formed two, my Sister and my Father (they aren't related). Thankfully, at least my Sister is around and I can't imagine life without her! My Father is just that empty place in my soul that hurts all the time. He and I are SOOO much alike (and I'm sure that's who I got my Asper-ness from), and we were really close when I was young, which is probably why it feels like a piece of me is missing. I do wonder why he doesn't feel the same now and what changed. If my bond still feels this strong, even after 20 years apart, why doesn't his? I've analyzed it to death and it's a futile pursuit, so let's change the subject, shall we?
I did want to show you the "Because you watched a documentary about space and the Earth as told by astronauts, we think "Friends" is a good fit" screenshot...granted, I have watched a few more programs, including Jessica Jones and a few episodes of "The Chef Show" with Jon Favreau, so it influenced things a bit more than before (hence the change in the documentary recommendations), but still..."Friends"?
The hippies also FINALLY got a haircut. They look a bit like a two-headed Shih-Cerberus here ready to attack, but they are still pretty cute!
It's a lot better than this miserable mess:
If they didn't grow overnight and she didn't stay booked up months in advance, I could stay on top of it better! I used to groom my kids myself, but once I got Bugs, he had been abused so much, there was NO WAY I was going to get near him with clippers, so I started taking him to the groomer and I figured, well, might as well take Bam too, and then I just got lazy! Half the time though, I still have to "fix" them when I get them home anyway...she always misses chunks of hair somehow.
Here's hoping (yet again), I manage some stitching this weekend!
I do think it's just time to head back to Once and start stitching again. I think I have just exhausted all other options. I know I didn't want to get back into that OCD loop again, but it's comforting, it helps me stitch, and seriously, what harm does it actually do? Just because a behavior is technically bad on paper, does that necessarily mean it's bad for me? I personally don't think so, but there is always a "but". It doesn't affect my behavior overall, so I'm not sure why I have such issue with it, other than, when someone asks me what I'm watching and I say Once, they go "again?", more as an accusation rather than a question and I feel awkward about it (and, I can't lie, so it comes out of my mouth before I can process to deflect the question to another subject rather than answering it). I've been over that "childhood over-compensating pleasing stage" years and have been at the "I don't care what you think of me stage", but here lately, I've notice I've started reverting to what others think of me again. I catch myself watching expressions of others when I say things (although I still have major issues trying to read those expressions) and I worry if I've said the right thing, even to something as basic as "hello". I'm not sure what is causing it, but I wish it would stop. I spent years getting over all that teenage crap, I'd hate to revert now!
This weekend I also tried to avoid all things Father's Day. That's one of the roughest holidays for me. It's hard loving a man who technically only lives about 10 miles from me and is only separated because of some imaginary slight that neither one of us can remember, but neither one of us is willing to break. So, over 20 years later, here we are. The joys of Scottish pride! Not a day goes by that I don't think of him, but I seriously doubt he thinks of me at all and that's the key that keeps me away because, finding out for sure that my Father doesn't love me would be the one thing that would truly break me for good. Besides, he's also part of a "package"...a very large, damaged, drama-filled package that my fragile state of mind just can't handle. Those people are just too much and they are so exhausting just to be around, so remembering that also helps me stay away. Aspers are weird when it comes to emotional attachments...we usually don't form them except for a few special circumstances but, when we do, those bonds are REALLY strong. I've formed two, my Sister and my Father (they aren't related). Thankfully, at least my Sister is around and I can't imagine life without her! My Father is just that empty place in my soul that hurts all the time. He and I are SOOO much alike (and I'm sure that's who I got my Asper-ness from), and we were really close when I was young, which is probably why it feels like a piece of me is missing. I do wonder why he doesn't feel the same now and what changed. If my bond still feels this strong, even after 20 years apart, why doesn't his? I've analyzed it to death and it's a futile pursuit, so let's change the subject, shall we?
I did want to show you the "Because you watched a documentary about space and the Earth as told by astronauts, we think "Friends" is a good fit" screenshot...granted, I have watched a few more programs, including Jessica Jones and a few episodes of "The Chef Show" with Jon Favreau, so it influenced things a bit more than before (hence the change in the documentary recommendations), but still..."Friends"?
The hippies also FINALLY got a haircut. They look a bit like a two-headed Shih-Cerberus here ready to attack, but they are still pretty cute!
It's a lot better than this miserable mess:
If they didn't grow overnight and she didn't stay booked up months in advance, I could stay on top of it better! I used to groom my kids myself, but once I got Bugs, he had been abused so much, there was NO WAY I was going to get near him with clippers, so I started taking him to the groomer and I figured, well, might as well take Bam too, and then I just got lazy! Half the time though, I still have to "fix" them when I get them home anyway...she always misses chunks of hair somehow.
Here's hoping (yet again), I manage some stitching this weekend!
Comments
Love the 2 headed dog photo, that's seriously freaky! Maybe you should start making your own series featuring the Shaggy Monster Puppies!
Linda