An insurrectionist in my own house!

On Monday, I went to work as I do every other weekday, but I came home to a sight...Bam had jumped the baby gate and was staring at me from inside the duck room! In the seven years he has been mine, this has NEVER happened! I couldn't figure it out to save my life! He didn't tear anything up, he didn't have an "accident", he was just sitting there with those big Shih-Tzu eyes like he was the most innocent thing in the world. Satan spawn!

On Monday night, I raised the gate high enough that he couldn't get under it, but tall enough that he couldn't jump over it. It was tight enough on the door that he also couldn't push it up. Well, apparently he can flatten himself out like a creature with no ribcage, because he DID crawl underneath it! He apparently did try to get back out by eating through the baby gate, but he couldn't make a big enough hole (or he hurt himself, I'm not sure which). Come Tuesday night when I arrived home, it was the same sight...that cute puppy face staring at me from inside my duck room, nothing Disney harmed, nothing soiled, although the baby gate had a gigantic hole in it.

Keep in mind, in all the years I've had both my "kids", neither one of them has ever stepped foot in that room, even when I'm in there. It's like they know it's mommy's space with mommy's stuff and they are not allowed. I have never punished them or scared them from it, they just "knew better" somehow. Even in other parts of the house where Disney items are, they don't touch them. They somehow know the difference. My Sister has gotten them Disney dog toys and they don't play with them because they think they are "mommy's toys"...they are literally THAT smart!

So Tuesday night, I first taped up the hole in the gate with duct tape, I put boxes in the doorway and put the baby gate on top of the boxes, but I felt like the boxes weren't heavy enough and he could push through them, so I put a flat piece of cardboard in front of the whole setup, a 12 pack of Cokes in front of it to hold it in place, and put another box on top of one of the under boxes and (here's the stupidity on my part), and a bag of Snow Melt on the other box...barrier complete. I'd like to say "in my defense" before defending my use of the Snow Melt, but using a caustic chemical was a stupid move in any scenario. I honestly didn't think he would get through the cardboard, let alone the boxes!

Well, my friends, the bugger moved the 12 pack of Cokes (keep in mind we're talking about a 9lb Shih-Tzu here), tore down the cardboard, ate through the baby gate AGAIN, ate through the bag of Snow Melt and this was the scene when I got home (since it's dark in there, you may, or may not, see his "not so" innocent face looking away in shame from inside):

I had to call the vet because I was afraid I had killed him! I also didn't know how much Bugs had eaten of it too, so I could have killed both of them! You'll notice that about 1/3 of the actual 50lb bag is missing (there wasn't that much actual Melt left in the bag, maybe a half gallon, but the bag itself was literally eaten alive!). After a 45 minute phone conversation with the vet, who just said, "well, if they aren't throwing up or seizing, you should be good, but call us if they do"...gee, thanks. When I let him out, he drank a LOT of water and ate some food, but then, I got this "glamor shot" of a totally innocent demonic hell spawn, although you might notice that Bugs looks either terrified or guilty, I'm not sure which. I'm beginning to think that Bam got Bugs to do the dirty work for him (because Bugs is bigger) and Bugs KNOWS he's the guilty party and he's afraid I'll figure him out (although, like I'd EVER punish him with anything more than words, but poor little guy has a bad history, so he's constantly afraid...sometimes when I raise my voice on the phone it scares him, so I have to be careful).

So, yet again, I start to fortify the room (after a purchase on Amazon of a METAL and VERY tall baby gate). This time, I did the box and gate duo once more (after I retaped it AGAIN), added the cardboard back and reinforced it with all the Cokes I had in reserve.

But I was afraid he might pull the cases of Coke down on top of him, so I started fortifying it more with a piece of plywood, a table, the vacuum on top of the table (because they are BOTH terrified of the vacuum and I had it out to clean up the mess...I hadn't yet mopped the floor, hence it's dirtiness, so please forgive that), and a HUGE bag of books on the other corner of the table just to balance it out. So when I left for work this morning, this was my Home Alone moment (and yes, that's Bam's coat on the closet door handle, isn't it adorable?):

But alas, from the moment I arrived at work, I turned on the volume to my home camera (which I rarely ever do), and it was this constant stream of barking and clawing. Bugs, on the other hand, was just sitting on the couch, watching like it was his favorite TV show. I wondered if I had a mouse (but, upon occasion, that's happened before and they've never cared), I wondered if someone was knocking on that front window, I wondered if Bam was really going crazy, I just didn't know what was happening! I can remotely access my alarm, and turning it off and on would distract him for a while, but then he would just go back to that doorway and start up again.

At 10:30 this morning (I had an 11 o'clock meeting and getting through this town is a NIGHTMARE), I heard him screaming and took off in a panic home. I found him waiting at the door with Bugs when I opened it and thankfully not in the duck room, but the bag of books were scattered all over the floor and half of the cardboard flat box was eaten. He must have pulled the books down on top of himself. Once I checked him over and made sure nothing was broken (I think it was just his pride, but I've been checking throughout the day), I leashed him up, and this has been where he's lived all day today, sitting on my desk, in front of my keyboard, impeding my work (but I did, somehow, make the meeting with three minutes to spare):

I checked outside to make sure there were no human (or animal tracks) around that front window, but nada. I checked last night for mouse droppings, but again, nada. Thankfully, his new metal prison bars has arrived and I will spray the door frame down with cayenne water tonight (in case he tries to eat his way through it next) to prevent further insurrection. Once I'm sure he can't get in and my duck room is once again secure, I'll put a couple of mouse traps. I didn't want to put any up today in case he did get in...we dodged a bullet with the Snow Melt and books, the mouse traps might have been strike three, but I've also ordered more cameras so maybe I can find out why he's suddenly so fixated on my duck room!

I've tried to explain to him that we are Democrats and we don't stage coups. It's Donald F. Duck's room, not Donald J. Trump's. Granted, Bam does have cataracts, so I also tried to explain that DD's orange beak is not the same as DT's orange face. I showed him that there are no Confederate flags in our house, nor do we support the Confederacy in any way other than as a historical point of reference for what NOT to do and as a marker for the tremendous loss of life incurred during that war. I still don't think he understood me, but he somehow gets that Disney stuff is off limits? Hmmm...his selective education might be a warning sign of more impending incursions! All jokes aside though, I'm just grateful he wasn't hurt and I need to figure out why he just HAS to get in that room! More news to follow!