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Work + School = Crashing Brain

I'm not sure how you guys do it...home, work, school, life, etc. I can barely handle work and school. I'm struggling with both to the point that I'm almost ready to just give up on school altogether. My grades are still good (for now), but that could change at the drop of a hat. Of course I'm going to keep going, I only have five weeks of the term left, but I think I've reached that feared "boredom" point I knew I would hit. It was all new and exciting at first, now it's a struggle and a drudge, so I don't want to do it anymore. Typical Asper behavior. And it's almost time to register for next semester and I'll have to start all over again. Oh joy.

Programming started out with her not explaining things well and dumping tons of homework on us that I couldn't figure out how to do. Now, she's walking us through everything step-by-step with her doing the work and giving us no homework, so I don't know how to work anything on my own. So now, when we do have to do our own problems during in-lab days (which are basically like mini test days), I have no clue where to even start. I wasted 30 minutes just staring at the screen trying to figure out what the problem was actually asking and then another hour trying to work out how to even begin. Then the next hour was spent failing at the problem and the last 20 minutes was trying to fix it to make it work. To say it was a disaster is putting it mildly. I don't have high hopes for this week's either.

English, on the other hand, has gotten more difficult because I'm not understanding the assignments (or I'm making them harder in my head, which is probably the case). I've managed to make the teacher mad on more than one occasion by asking her stupid questions about the assignments. We also have discussion boards in that class because it's an online and I'm HORRIBLE at those. We keep dwelling on the dark and dirty world of current events. I don't watch the news, hate the news, hate dealing with the news, etc and I've spent more time keeping up with current events in the past seven (now going on eight) weeks than I have in my entire life. Needless to say, it hasn't helped my mental health issues much and it's negatively affecting my mood. I made the mistake of pretty much vocalizing my disgust with the topics of the discussion boards thus far, so I figure my grades for last week are going to suffer for it. I should have kept my mouth shut.

Despite all this, I've work is starting to settle down and my least favorite doctor, the one that gives me the worst amount of hell, handed in his notice for the end of the year! I couldn't be more excited! I knew a few days before everyone else and no one understood why I was bouncing around with a huge smile on my face until it was "officially" announced this morning. He's also one of the main reasons why I wanted to go back to school and get out of here, so with him going, it's making my struggle to stay in school more difficult.

I go home and still OCD Once Upon A Time (really heavily), but I'm able to do homework at the same time, so it's not as bad as the previous OCD phase. I really want to stitch again though. Bad. It's gotten so bad that I've decided either to only go one summer term, or to not go to either because I want time off to stitch and travel. I miss doing both too much. But the thought of not being able to stitch until next May sends hives down my back. It figures my stitchy bug would come back during a time when I can't do anything about it. I did finally buy the last Kordek pattern in the Once men series, August/Pinocchio, but it's just going in the stash pile with the rest of them:
Once-Upon-A-Time-Pinocchio
I'm still upset there is not a Charming to match out the set, but what can I do? I still have to buy thread for my Snow and Charming project and that's the one I'm really dying to start:
OnceUponATimeSNOW
If anyone knows if there is an Emma/Hook to match, let me know! This one was a gift from a wonderful fellow blogger and I am so grateful because it came at a really bad time. I know I say this a lot, but there is a reason why I prefer the blog world to any other social media outlet. You guys are the best! And thank you for not judging me on being a horrible blogger in return. I wish I had more time to go through everyone's blogs and get caught up! Maybe during fall break...but then again, I have to work double shifts at work that week, so maybe not. Ugh!

Comments

Linda said…
Hang in there Keiley. I know you can do it. Maybe if you could just find an hour a week to stitch it would help.

Linda
Unknown said…
Just take it a day at a time. Maybe just do 1 or 2 crosses a day, every stitch counts right even if it's only one full cross. Just until you find the time to stitch more. Don't give up your doing great.
Bethan said…
Hang in there. I struggle to have a work/life balance. You'll get there with it all. I know a new semester will cause some issues, but perhaps a bit of a change will be good, especially as you're finding these modules not the best. You're doing awesome - keep going x
Sorry to hear you are having a hard time at school. It will all be worth it in the end though so keep at it if you can! And I can't for the life of me remember what that group was called on facebook that I got the pattern from to see if she has an Emma/Hook one but when I do I will have a look for it.
Tiffstitch said…
You can do this! Let the stubborn part stick with it, because you believe in you (on a good day) and we all believe in you. You can do this!
I agree, you can do this - you knew you'd hit this wall so just keep going.

I guess you don't have the kind of personality that could cope with "just one hour of stitching and then back to work" but it does help keep things in balance. Even on a work day I manage 30 minutes in my lunch break!
Oh, my, your programming teacher really sounds like a handfull. I hope you won't have to deal with her much longer, or will you have a course with her next semester as well? Did you get your if/else thing figured out?
Geoff Maritz said…
Hello Keebles.
Wow! I have never seen anything like the artworks you produce. I live in Africa and the type of really impressive African artworks I have seen in the past are no match for what you are producing, beads and carvings, impressive sometimes but nothing like the attention to detail you are displaying in your Stitching. I don't even think I've ever even heard of stitching before.
Blessings from Johannesburg South Africa, Geoff.
You can do it! Honestly I don't have much advice as to how to cope as this semester has really knocked me for six! But you can do it I know you can! Just like I can do it too.

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