I want to be so Snow White Hopeful...but
"Believing in even the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing". Oh, the wisdom that is Mary Margaret Blanchard on Once Upon A Time.
I try...I try so hard every single day. At every turn there is obstacle after obstacle and I don't understand why. If school is my right path, why are stones being thrown at me all the friggin time? Not a single step of this has been easy and yet I keep taking the rocks to the head.
The day of my last post, about four hours after it actually, my English teacher had a stroke. She's doing better, but she won't be back. I hate that. We weren't getting along, but I really admired her and I felt I was learning so much from her about myself and I felt that my writing was getting better. I miss her.
Class has been on hold for two weeks. We got a new professor this week and she's one of those that doesn't care and just wants us to get through the rest of the semester with busy work. Yes, I should be grateful just because she has done away with the annoying discussion boards. But she's also added weekly papers on essays in the books that can only be one page (HA!) on top of the "big paper" which she has trimmed down to absolutely nothing with no sources and a very strict list of horrible items...gun control, abortion, voting, animal testing, blaa, blaa, blaa. I already had my big paper worked out. My old teacher and I had discussed Pluto's planetary status, but since, I had decided to do mine on the whole Classic Disney Princess backlash (and you guys know where I stand on that line). It's controversial and it's something I could be passionate about. If she expects me to write an impassioned plea on any of those other topics, she's nuts. I could care less.
The new prof said we could email her with different topics and she'd get right back. I emailed her within 10 minutes of getting her initial email Monday morning. It is now Wednesday, and not a WORD. I don't function that way. I will wait until this afternoon and she will get a second email and then, if I get no response, she will get a visit on Monday (her next office hour...and I do mean hour). If someone says they will email you immediately, I expect an immediate response. I see my grades dropping quickly in that class. She and I won't get along. I looked up her picture. She looks like a fru-fru beauty queen type.
On the programming front, I had a HORRIBLE headache last week and a test. Turns out, the two don't mix. I haven't got my grade back yet, but I figure it is a mid C, hopefully a low B. The B I can save and maybe raise back to an A. The C means I'm stuck with a B and only if I work my butt off for the rest of the semester. Problem is, because I've had two weeks off in English, I've gotten EXTREMELY lazy too. I don't want to do homework anymore. I don't want to do school anymore and I think a lot of that has to do with my least favorite doc leaving the practice. With that thorn being pulled out of my side, a huge part of my motivation has left me. I just want to go back to working, watching my shows, and stitching. I'm still holding on though. I've already started registering for next semester, but I'm not sure I can handle another round.
I did get a new advisor (my programming teacher)...I like her personally, I just don't think she's a good teacher. She's also a Disneyphile, so it will work out well when she's no longer teaching me. She told me I could do things that Support Services tells me I can't (like taking Ethics instead of Econ, etc). She told me to retake Chemistry in the summer, SS said no. So I have no clue what to do. My major classes aren't really offered in the summers, so that's why I was going to clear out all the science, but if I don't go summers, I will never graduate with two classes per fall and spring semesters (and any kind of break will probably keep me from going back).
A back story on that. When I was a kid, my mother made me go straight through because she was afraid that if I didn't go a summer I'd quit, so I started college the summer after high school. Eventually, I got badly burned out and begged for a summer off. They let me, but she was right, I never went back. That trait hasn't changed. If I got away too long, even a couple of months, I wouldn't go back. I will have to go straight through if I ever want to graduate (but do I?).
Were you guys this wishy-washy or is this a "me" thing?
And I have been driving my coworkers crazy because this song has been playing constantly over and over for weeks in my office:
They just don't know it's also been playing in my car, on my phone while I'm waiting for class, and sometimes, even at home when I'm not watching Once. I wonder what it means? I must hold a grudge against someone or something.
I try...I try so hard every single day. At every turn there is obstacle after obstacle and I don't understand why. If school is my right path, why are stones being thrown at me all the friggin time? Not a single step of this has been easy and yet I keep taking the rocks to the head.
The day of my last post, about four hours after it actually, my English teacher had a stroke. She's doing better, but she won't be back. I hate that. We weren't getting along, but I really admired her and I felt I was learning so much from her about myself and I felt that my writing was getting better. I miss her.
Class has been on hold for two weeks. We got a new professor this week and she's one of those that doesn't care and just wants us to get through the rest of the semester with busy work. Yes, I should be grateful just because she has done away with the annoying discussion boards. But she's also added weekly papers on essays in the books that can only be one page (HA!) on top of the "big paper" which she has trimmed down to absolutely nothing with no sources and a very strict list of horrible items...gun control, abortion, voting, animal testing, blaa, blaa, blaa. I already had my big paper worked out. My old teacher and I had discussed Pluto's planetary status, but since, I had decided to do mine on the whole Classic Disney Princess backlash (and you guys know where I stand on that line). It's controversial and it's something I could be passionate about. If she expects me to write an impassioned plea on any of those other topics, she's nuts. I could care less.
The new prof said we could email her with different topics and she'd get right back. I emailed her within 10 minutes of getting her initial email Monday morning. It is now Wednesday, and not a WORD. I don't function that way. I will wait until this afternoon and she will get a second email and then, if I get no response, she will get a visit on Monday (her next office hour...and I do mean hour). If someone says they will email you immediately, I expect an immediate response. I see my grades dropping quickly in that class. She and I won't get along. I looked up her picture. She looks like a fru-fru beauty queen type.
On the programming front, I had a HORRIBLE headache last week and a test. Turns out, the two don't mix. I haven't got my grade back yet, but I figure it is a mid C, hopefully a low B. The B I can save and maybe raise back to an A. The C means I'm stuck with a B and only if I work my butt off for the rest of the semester. Problem is, because I've had two weeks off in English, I've gotten EXTREMELY lazy too. I don't want to do homework anymore. I don't want to do school anymore and I think a lot of that has to do with my least favorite doc leaving the practice. With that thorn being pulled out of my side, a huge part of my motivation has left me. I just want to go back to working, watching my shows, and stitching. I'm still holding on though. I've already started registering for next semester, but I'm not sure I can handle another round.
I did get a new advisor (my programming teacher)...I like her personally, I just don't think she's a good teacher. She's also a Disneyphile, so it will work out well when she's no longer teaching me. She told me I could do things that Support Services tells me I can't (like taking Ethics instead of Econ, etc). She told me to retake Chemistry in the summer, SS said no. So I have no clue what to do. My major classes aren't really offered in the summers, so that's why I was going to clear out all the science, but if I don't go summers, I will never graduate with two classes per fall and spring semesters (and any kind of break will probably keep me from going back).
A back story on that. When I was a kid, my mother made me go straight through because she was afraid that if I didn't go a summer I'd quit, so I started college the summer after high school. Eventually, I got badly burned out and begged for a summer off. They let me, but she was right, I never went back. That trait hasn't changed. If I got away too long, even a couple of months, I wouldn't go back. I will have to go straight through if I ever want to graduate (but do I?).
Were you guys this wishy-washy or is this a "me" thing?
And I have been driving my coworkers crazy because this song has been playing constantly over and over for weeks in my office:
They just don't know it's also been playing in my car, on my phone while I'm waiting for class, and sometimes, even at home when I'm not watching Once. I wonder what it means? I must hold a grudge against someone or something.
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Linda