Hi, my name is Keebs and I'm a FanGirl
After re-reading my last two posts (something I usually don't do once they are published), it suddenly became abundantly clear to me, I'm a FanGirl, pure and simple. I've always hated the words "fan" and "girl" in the same sentence. It makes one think of the Beatles-crazed fans of the 60's and 70's...the screaming little Jonas Brothers fans crying and screaming so loud you couldn't hear a single word during their concert (and I know from first hand experience - don't ask). I don't behave that way (or I'd like to think I don't). I had a very intelligent conversation with Dr. Plait the other week, right? So therefore, I must have my wits about me, right? No, not really. There are times I can't sleep or eat because of my obsessions, just like those screaming little girls, even to this very day.
I don't think I can particularly lay it all at the feet of the Asperness though...yes, my Asper side has made me obsessed with Disney, Duran Duran and cross stitching for life (even though there are ebbs and flows with those), but other things come and go, burning hot and then flame out quickly. I was in my very early 20's and had NKOTB sheets and posters and dolls and stuff (in my defense, only Joe and Jordan are younger than I am, all the rest are my age or older and I hit the New Kids phase late in life). And yes, packed in a box somewhere is all that stuff because there is a fine line between OCD and hoarding (I like to say that OCD is organized hoarding).
But I think, because I haven't been to Disney World going on two years now, other things have started replacing it...like TV shows and books, although I would bet that my first trip back to Disney after I finish school will cure any other distraction. Yes, I am now and will always be a Duranie, but honestly, Take That has been playing constantly in my car and devices for the past few years (even on my way to Duran concerts...bad me) Duran only comes out in times of severe stress. And well, you guys see how the cross stitch thing has been going lately...replaced by planning for school, at least for now.
I don't necessarily think that ASD or OCD have anything to do with being a FanGirl, there are plenty of FanGirls who don't have either conditions (although I'm not sure you can't convince me that there isn't some underlying conditions for at least the truly obsessed types like me), but I don't think any of my issues help control my obsessions when I'm in a bad place, so from that perspective at least, it's all negative. I think that I tend to be a worse FanGirl when work is particularly horrible (which is most days lately), or family is annoying me (which thankfully isn't too bad lately), or the outside world is general gets to be too much to take, so there has to be something to it on that front. I'd call it escapism, a shrink would probably say avoidance.
If there was one thing I got from that Supernatural Fan movie, it was that most of those people's lives were made better by the show after some horrible life event. Could I say the same? Well, I did have a horrible life event last year and right after is when I started this particular binge. Since I've been watching it, everything has turned around for me, but is that just coincidence or a side-effect of the show? I'm not sure I can say. Yes, the show is all about family (which ain't the best in my world), two brothers who can overcome every single obstacle thrown at them as long as they are together. Doesn't really sound much like my world, does it? But again, it has that sneaky little four-letter word that keeps popping up in my world...hope. And despite all that has happened to me, I tend to still have hope and I tend to seek it out in my entertainment world. It's why I like the shows or movies or books that I do like...they all have the underlying message of hope.
My wardrobe itself though is the clue that it can't just be all mood-related. Yes, I have work t-shirts (I am a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl, perpetually stuck in the 80's as some would say), but every other shirt is something related to something of the Fandom world be it Disney, Supernatural, Astronomy, Marvel, Doctor Who, and the list goes on and on. I don't just have "plain" t-shirts. And NOBODY gets the ones that aren't Disney or NASA. Today, for example, I'm wearing a Nelson and Murdock Law Firm T. Matt Murdock (aka DareDevil) in his day-to-day is a lawyer and that's his firm (in the first season anyway). It's an inside joke that NO ONE gets. I secretly find that amusing. I find it more amusing when people look at my shirt but don't ask what it means (just give me that weird look that people often give me).
After Dr. Plait's lecture on Tuesday, I signed up for his newsletter (not the free one), even though I couldn't afford it, and emailed him thanking him again for his lecture. I had the worst work day ever Friday, but late Friday, before I left work, I got an email back from Dr. Plait that was very supportive (and he still seemed to remember me), and it changed my entire mood for the day and I FanGirl'ed like a 12 year-old. I told everyone who was still at work (and, of course, they could have cared less), and it took me most of the weekend to craft a return email back. Yes, I should have left it alone, but I couldn't. FanGirls can't leave it alone.
I also didn't go home and binge-watch Supernatural all weekend (but, I do have to send season 2 back because the supposed "brand new" package looks like it's been to hell and back), but instead went home re-read Dr. Plait's first book again, and then wasted the rest of the weekend on another Amazon Channel test (this time the Hallmark Channel, yes, I'm ashamed and I'm pretty depressed today...a weekend of romance movies will do that too you, that's why I prefer horror, nothing worse than being reminded that you're all alone in the world without that perfect man...another channel bites the dust).
But you know what? I think I now like being a FanGirl. I was born that way after all. I came out obsessed with Disney. I snuck my Shaun Cassidy T-Shirt to my 3rd grade school photo shoot (and got the spanking of my life when those photos came in, let me tell you!). I've done some pretty stupid things for the love of Simon Le Bon. And I've cross stitched for thousands of hours every year for years now (even if I am in a current lull). So I guess it's time I own it, and let my FanGirl flag fly high. Still not sure I'm happy about it though.
What about you guys? What do you FanGirl over? How do you feel about the term? Give me your thoughts!
I don't think I can particularly lay it all at the feet of the Asperness though...yes, my Asper side has made me obsessed with Disney, Duran Duran and cross stitching for life (even though there are ebbs and flows with those), but other things come and go, burning hot and then flame out quickly. I was in my very early 20's and had NKOTB sheets and posters and dolls and stuff (in my defense, only Joe and Jordan are younger than I am, all the rest are my age or older and I hit the New Kids phase late in life). And yes, packed in a box somewhere is all that stuff because there is a fine line between OCD and hoarding (I like to say that OCD is organized hoarding).
But I think, because I haven't been to Disney World going on two years now, other things have started replacing it...like TV shows and books, although I would bet that my first trip back to Disney after I finish school will cure any other distraction. Yes, I am now and will always be a Duranie, but honestly, Take That has been playing constantly in my car and devices for the past few years (even on my way to Duran concerts...bad me) Duran only comes out in times of severe stress. And well, you guys see how the cross stitch thing has been going lately...replaced by planning for school, at least for now.
I don't necessarily think that ASD or OCD have anything to do with being a FanGirl, there are plenty of FanGirls who don't have either conditions (although I'm not sure you can't convince me that there isn't some underlying conditions for at least the truly obsessed types like me), but I don't think any of my issues help control my obsessions when I'm in a bad place, so from that perspective at least, it's all negative. I think that I tend to be a worse FanGirl when work is particularly horrible (which is most days lately), or family is annoying me (which thankfully isn't too bad lately), or the outside world is general gets to be too much to take, so there has to be something to it on that front. I'd call it escapism, a shrink would probably say avoidance.
If there was one thing I got from that Supernatural Fan movie, it was that most of those people's lives were made better by the show after some horrible life event. Could I say the same? Well, I did have a horrible life event last year and right after is when I started this particular binge. Since I've been watching it, everything has turned around for me, but is that just coincidence or a side-effect of the show? I'm not sure I can say. Yes, the show is all about family (which ain't the best in my world), two brothers who can overcome every single obstacle thrown at them as long as they are together. Doesn't really sound much like my world, does it? But again, it has that sneaky little four-letter word that keeps popping up in my world...hope. And despite all that has happened to me, I tend to still have hope and I tend to seek it out in my entertainment world. It's why I like the shows or movies or books that I do like...they all have the underlying message of hope.
My wardrobe itself though is the clue that it can't just be all mood-related. Yes, I have work t-shirts (I am a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl, perpetually stuck in the 80's as some would say), but every other shirt is something related to something of the Fandom world be it Disney, Supernatural, Astronomy, Marvel, Doctor Who, and the list goes on and on. I don't just have "plain" t-shirts. And NOBODY gets the ones that aren't Disney or NASA. Today, for example, I'm wearing a Nelson and Murdock Law Firm T. Matt Murdock (aka DareDevil) in his day-to-day is a lawyer and that's his firm (in the first season anyway). It's an inside joke that NO ONE gets. I secretly find that amusing. I find it more amusing when people look at my shirt but don't ask what it means (just give me that weird look that people often give me).
After Dr. Plait's lecture on Tuesday, I signed up for his newsletter (not the free one), even though I couldn't afford it, and emailed him thanking him again for his lecture. I had the worst work day ever Friday, but late Friday, before I left work, I got an email back from Dr. Plait that was very supportive (and he still seemed to remember me), and it changed my entire mood for the day and I FanGirl'ed like a 12 year-old. I told everyone who was still at work (and, of course, they could have cared less), and it took me most of the weekend to craft a return email back. Yes, I should have left it alone, but I couldn't. FanGirls can't leave it alone.
I also didn't go home and binge-watch Supernatural all weekend (but, I do have to send season 2 back because the supposed "brand new" package looks like it's been to hell and back), but instead went home re-read Dr. Plait's first book again, and then wasted the rest of the weekend on another Amazon Channel test (this time the Hallmark Channel, yes, I'm ashamed and I'm pretty depressed today...a weekend of romance movies will do that too you, that's why I prefer horror, nothing worse than being reminded that you're all alone in the world without that perfect man...another channel bites the dust).
But you know what? I think I now like being a FanGirl. I was born that way after all. I came out obsessed with Disney. I snuck my Shaun Cassidy T-Shirt to my 3rd grade school photo shoot (and got the spanking of my life when those photos came in, let me tell you!). I've done some pretty stupid things for the love of Simon Le Bon. And I've cross stitched for thousands of hours every year for years now (even if I am in a current lull). So I guess it's time I own it, and let my FanGirl flag fly high. Still not sure I'm happy about it though.
What about you guys? What do you FanGirl over? How do you feel about the term? Give me your thoughts!
Comments
Linda
For me, it was discovering a whole genre of music that helped me through the teenage years and my whole adult life. I'm not obsessed over any one band, all my idols have feet of clay! But the whole rock music world was "my people" way before I discovered cross stitch and a new batch of "my people"!
I've seen a lot of bands and musicians and for me there are three people who are somehow "more" than anyone else, they have a presence about them - Alice Cooper, Freddie Mercury and Robert Plant. Even from the back of a field with thousands of concert goers each of those three fill up your entire field of vision, they are just "more", they eclipse anyone else on stage.
And lastly, I think all of us can probably relate here - isn't there somewhat inherently obsessive about stabbing a needle through fabric thousands and ten thousands of time in a row? ;)