Abysmal stitching, but Go-Live is DONE and job offer wavering

I left off with Alice and the B's here like WEEKS ago:

And literally got five days worth of stitching on them (and sucky stitching at that) ever since, so I only made it here:

But, Go-Live on our new system was two weeks ago, and there are still TONS of bugs to work out. My work schedule still hasn't slowed down much, although I didn't have to work this past Sunday, which was a first in a while. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep up this pace. This whole mess was "supposed" to make my life easier, not harder, but I really don't see an end to it. Everyone is starting to settle in and has calmed down quite a bit, although I did find a rather nasty poem that a co-worker wrote about the software and go-live that I took VERY personally. She was one of the people who refused to pre-train or help build her world in any way, so all the issues she is having is her own problem. I am just trying to keep my chin up and hope everything starts slowing down soon before I break.

Then, trying to decide whether or not to apply for a job that is 1800 miles away isn't helping the situation. I asked them to get the ball rolling for me to interview (more on that later), but now I'm starting to question whether or not that is the best idea right now. I'm wondering if I'm applying for the job out of anger at my current employer, or if I'm just doing it because the new guys "ruffled my skirt" a bit and I'm feeling like I'm a bigger deal than I am and I've outgrown my current job (well, I have, but that's beside the point). Granted, I had planned to use what little retirement I have to pay off my current credit card debt, but would it be better to wait until that debt is gone and use that money as moving money (even though they are potentially offering me moving money)? The fact that I can't find a decent place to live, even temporarily, is also causing me pause. I wouldn't be able to buy a house off the bat anyway, so I had planned to get something small and save up (my Sister offered to store the bulk of my stuff until then), but if I can't find anything that would afford me to even save money and would use up my entire paycheck, then again, why bother?

The grass isn't always greener and yes, I'm in a job where I'm underpaid and undervalued, but it's a really low cost of living here and I have a lot of social issues that keep me trapped in more ways than one. And it is a steady income where I'm allowed a lot more power than I should have, despite the workload. On the other hand, California has a lot more to offer with a much easier workload, but it is a MUCH higher cost of living, I have two dogs to think of, a LARGE Disney collection, and social issues that, even though my potential new employer is aware of and doesn't seem to mind, it could still affect me even functioning on the basic level, like groceries and gas. THAT could be a problem!

Once everything settles down, there have been "assurances" given that there are potential bonuses/raises in store for me at my current job (I'll believe it when I see it), but those could also come closer to matching the salary I was offered in Cali, throwing off the much higher cost of living there. I did do all this work on this project and I did, for the most part, pull it off, so any compensation, whether I stay or go, is still due, but I could also add that I need some help if this pace is going to keep up. And then there is that stupid obligation gene that I feel like I owe it to my current employer to leave them in a good situation before I go, and there is still so much to do! Manuals have to be written, logs of the process of go-live have to be made, old computers have to be documented, hard drives removed and destroyed and the computers gotten rid of. New inventories and tech layout maps have to be made, heck, even my LIS manual needs to be updated now because of all the changes, not just with the new LIS system, but with Windows 10! And then there is still more work to do to get the second phase of this project going (although someone new could be trained to do all that).

Then, once the dust settles and I have a clear, unbiased head, maybe then I could make the decision about the new job and whether or not I should apply. It was supposedly an open invitation that they would keep open whenever I was ready. I may have jumped the gun when I asked for that "required, but just a formality" interview last week. The fact that now we are talking "baby steps" and checking schedules for "initial preliminary phone interviews" really make me think it was all "skirt ruffling" and it isn't a given that I'm a shoe-in for the job like it was initially proposed to me. I don't take rejection well and, if I set my mind to quitting my current job and moving half way cross-country and then DON'T get the job, I'm gonna be super pissed! Plus, I have to build a resume. Yea. I've been back at my current job for 24 years. A resume isn't something I have lying around. So I stitched yesterday instead of working on said resume like I should have. I decided that I wouldn't decide on anything yesterday but what to watch on YouTube and which areas to stitch on! That cleared my head for a day, but now that I'm back in reality, it has all hit again like a ton of bricks.

Well, without a resume, they won't do anything anyway, so that ball, I guess, is now in my court, and if I don't get it to them until, oh, I don't know, say September or so, and they are still willing to take it, THEN I know they were serious about anytime. For now, I need to clear out the current workload here, clear out my own head, and THEN process moving 1800 miles away. If I miss out, then it wasn't meant to be anyway, right?