Top 5 List - 30 Year High School Reunion

A few of weeks ago, I got my "invitation" to my 30 year high school reunion. After 20 minutes of ruckus laughter, the letter spent a while in the bottom in my purse until I finally took it out and filed it away, sight unseen. But I'm bringing it up again now to try to "brighten" up my Top 5's. Here's hoping, right?

High school SUCKED for me (see, already starting on a high note). I was weird (understatement), I was anti-social (super-understatement), I hated being there because I have severe authority issues (OK...I think you guys get it now)...it was awful. I couldn't wait to get out and I rarely look back. I didn't really keep in touch with friends and I rarely run into any ex-school mates. I just don't get the purpose of rehashing bad memories.

For the purpose of this post, I should also mention that in high school, and even now, I referred to the popular people as fru-fru's. My Sister hates this term, probably because she not only married one (although he did grow out of the awful jerk part of fru-fruness), but she married what I call a super-fru, one that is at the very top of the fru-fru chain. FYI, he didn't talk to me in high school either and we had a class together. Wonder what he would have said then if he knew he was going to grow up and marry the "Blair Witch's" sister (what they called me, way before that movie ever came out...I had a tendency to read obscure texts, some of which might have resembled spell books)...what can I say? I liked to shock and I was trying to figure out where I stood on religion at the time (the verdict is still out on that one, but I did figure out that witchcraft wasn't for me).

My school was very Breakfast Club and I was full-on Ally Sheedy. I just kept to myself and stayed out of everything. I was the freak in the corner, all in black, listening to scary music (and yes, at my school, Duran Duran was scary), drawing even scarier pictures, and reading scary stuff.

I spent my entire high school career in love with one guy who wouldn't give me the time of day romantically, but we were "secret" friends at night when he wanted to talk on the phone for hours and bitch about his girlfriends. Pitiful me listened just to hear his voice. How sad was I? FYI, this continued on through at least our first couple of semesters of college too. If I analyze it honestly, he's really the only guy I ever loved. Not quite sure I ever got over him either, but that's another story. He wasn't a fru-fru, but was on the fringe of it, a sub-fru, if you will. And yes, from what I hear, he's as big a jerk now as he was in school (and he's married), so no, it wouldn't be worth me going to the reunion to see if there is something there that wasn't there before (and yes, I just threw in a Disney quote).

My mother needed to dump me somewhere and I just made the age cut-off for kindergarten, so I went early. It hurt me in the long run and I probably would have done better academically (and emotionally) if I would have been in my brother-in-law's class, but nothing I can do about that now. He was a year under me in school, but he is actually three days older than me. His mom was smart.

So, if you haven't guessed by now, there is no way in Hades that I would ever go to this retro-suck fest, and here's the top 5 reasons why.

#5: Handwritten Comments:
At the bottom of this typed letter-form invitation to the reunion, was a handwritten note to me from the organizer (who I was NOT friends with in school and didn't make fru-fru status until senior year), "reminding" me that there is a reunion Facebook page for our class and they would "love" for me to join in. I haven't been on FB in almost 10 years and they haven't even noticed that? Guess I'm just out of luck there. But seriously, handwritten? What did I do to deserve that? Oh yeah, I'm related to a super-fru, so NOW I matter (and I can guarantee that's the reason why). Well, I don't work that way, he's just my brother-in-law.

#4: Merged Reunions:
I graduated in 1988. For some reason, the reunion is us and the class of '87. I don't understand this unless it's because two of the four organizers are married to guys from that class. Most of the guys and a few of the girls/guys from our class dated (and some married) girls/guys from the class of '89 (aka my brother-in-law's class). That would make more sense because we got along (and by "we", I mean "they") got along better overall with '89 (and even "I" can say I know a lot more people from the class of '89 than I do from '87). Even if I planned on going (I'm starting to chuckle again), knowing there is another class filled with people I don't know there too would definitely be enough to keep me away just by itself.

#3: The Locations:
Most reunions are actually at your school. They have since built a new one, but our old high school is now the middle school, so it does still stand. But instead, they are having a breakfast meet-up at a VERY small restaurant in our hometown that probably holds 30 people on a good day. Our class alone had 100 graduates. Even if you take away all the dead (and apparently there is a lot) and all the ones who don't show up (like me), you still have spouses and kids and then an entire other class and their spouses and kids. It's just crazy!

Midday, they are touring the new high school. No mention of our school. It's on a Saturday, so it's not like there will be classes going on.

Then, later in the day, they are having the actual reunion in a restaurant the town I live in now (again, still not big enough to hold two classes)...not in the town we went to school in, not in the school itself, but in a frickin restaurant 20 miles away!

Now, here's the kicker...both meals and any beverages, must be paid for by us (and by "us", I mean "them"), the attendees. Oh, but they are still asking for donations to pay for the band and the locale rentals. Is this normal? Don't you usually pay for a ticket to attend the reunion which covers things like this? I've never been to a reunion before, but I don't think this is normal, which leads to #2 (but one more thing first).

In the South, we have this thing called "dry counties". Basically, certain counties can't sell alcohol. The town I grew up in is "wet", meaning there are liquor stores everywhere and every restaurant serves alcohol, whereas the town I live in now is "dry", meaning no booze. But, certain (practically every) restaurants have "memberships" where you can pay $1-5 to join (or just sign in at the register and pay nothing) and drink to your heart's content, at least in this county (not every county is like that, some are dry as a bone). I think that might be the reason why they are choosing to have the dinner here instead of there. This is a nicer town and we have nicer restaurants. More people live here than in the town we grew up in (most ran for the hills after high school, some ran even farther). But still, isn't the whole purpose of a reunion about nostalgia? How can you be nostalgic about high school when you're nowhere near the school or even the town?

Maybe the school wouldn't let them have alcohol or something? If they did, I would be surprised, it's not like the town I grew up in is known for its purity. I've never smoked marijuana, but I know the smell intimately, although I didn't know why until after high school. The first time I smelled it outside of school, someone was complaining about it and I made the comment that it smelled exactly like my high school bathroom and, once they told me what it was, I knew what I had been smelling all those years.

Drugs and alcohol were a big part of high school in my day (just not for me...heck, I didn't even know about it all until later in life from third-party sources, that's how blind I was to the whole culture of my school). I went to school, then home. I didn't participate in clubs, or band, or after school activities of any kind and I've never been to a party in my entire life (unless you count my work's Christmas parties and then I can count those on one hand). Pregnancy was big as well, although 10% of the graduating class being knocked up was hard not to notice. At one point, we made national news because we were the VD capital of the country...not the county, or the state, the whole damn United States of America! Go Wildcats! But I digress.

#2: Lack of Previous Invitations:
For our 10 year reunion, my Sister worked at the pharmacy where a fellow classmate (another sub-fru), who was then head of the reunion committee, also worked. I never got an invitation. My Sister told said committee head who swore she sent me an invitation, but promised she would sent out another. I never got it. Told my Sister again who told her again...and so on. Eventually, I got the message...she wasn't sending any invitations to me at all and I wasn't wanted. That was OK, I didn't want to go anyway. Same with the 15th. So when I actually did get an invitation for the 20th (new committee head due to previous one's personal issues, and let's leave it at that), It didn't even get opened and got filed in the trash.

#1: My Head Space
OK, so technically, I'm still working at the same job I was working at in high school. I'm still living in the same trailer that I've been living in for 20+ years. I'm still alone. I'm still a college student. I'm still weird. I'm still fat. Etc. On paper, it doesn't look good.

I can see the conversation now...
them - "So, what have you been doing with yourself?"

me - "Well, first, please don't touch me or I might scream, but I still work at the lab, still live in my trailer, but hey, I've got a myriad of diagnosed mental issues now that explain why I'm weird, I'm back in college, and I still don't care about a single one of you guys and I don't know why I'm here at all, so I'll be leaving now!".

Sounds like fun, right?

But, it's not all Romy and Michele for me. I have worked my way HIGH up the "so-called" corporate ladder to management level and taught myself a career that most people need an education to get jobs in (I just get paid less because I'm not educated...but that's about to change). I have more things than most people will ever have in my tiny trailer (what's the use of having a big house with nothing in it?). I have gone places and seen things most people have never gone or seen (although I have never been overseas), most of which I've done alone. I have been married and divorced (wouldn't recommend either). I am starting back to college for the fourth (or fifth) time, but this time I plan to finish. And I was born weird and I wouldn't have it any other way. I may be fat, but most people think I'm in my mid 30's instead of my late 40's, so that's got to be a plus, right? Despite technically looking like I've stood still, I've grown, moved, and changed a TON in more ways than most of them ever will.

Besides, the stupid thing isn't until October and they wanted an RSVP almost immediately after the invitations were sent out. Woopsy. I think the weeks it spent in my purse ruined that! Oh well. That will be about mid-term time for me and I don't know how I'm going to react to being back in college. Saturday or not, I can't plan ahead that far for anything, let alone something I would be dreading like the plague.

Guarantee no one will miss me or ask about me anyway. Most everyone knows who my brother-in-law now, so if they REALLY wanted to get in touch with me, all they would have to do is call him and he's not hard to find...his family is one of the three most prominent families in the town, owning a good chunk of it. As far as know, no one has ever called him about me or even asked him about me, so there you go (and he's still in touch with most of his high school friends, some of which were from my class). I'm not in witness protection by any means. They care as little about me as I do about them and I'm OK with that.

And I work with a guy whose sister I graduated with (and whose little brother was in the class below), so that's another direct line. Both his sister and brother were mega frus, but he only managed sub-fru status. I've known him most all my life and I have to listen to hometown stories upon occasion, but I don't pay much attention. It also means I have to interact with his sister upon occasion, but I'm not sure if she remembers that she graduated with me or if she just thinks she knows me because I work with her brother. Knowing her, it's probably the latter. She's not the brightest bulb in the box.

Wonder what the Breakfast Club 30 year reunion would look like? I doubt Ally Sheedy's character would have gone either, especially after having her moment with Emilio Estevez during detention only to have to go back to being the wallflower and probably never speaking to him again. Sounds familiar, only I never got my actual physical moment with my guy and never will. But then again, he didn't look like Emilio Estevez, so I ain't too upset over it!

See? Feel better already!