Top 5 List (a long time coming and yet another long post...sorry)

I have been a horrible blogger lately from both a writing and a reading standpoint. I'm hoping to fix that, but when I have something itching to come out of my brain, I have to write it, and this is one of those times. I felt like doing a Top 5.

I think I've rambled enough about my love for Supernatural. It's not the same kind of love as Once Upon A Time...it's really not a 'feel good" kind of show, but it's entertainment/escapism, which is what I need, especially now. Sometimes I just don't want to feel good, I want to forget, even if it's only for a few hours.

Supernatural tackles every single scary tale, folklore, monster, religious iconology, mythology, and just about every other mystical subject you can think of. Everyone dies, sometimes they come back, sometimes not. But it does have a funny side, which isn't something you would expect from what is basically a weekly horror movie. And, even I have to admit that the special effects in Supernatural, even back in 2005, were always WAY better than anything in Once. Sad, but true.

The 13th Season of Supernatural came out on Netflix and, although I'd usually wait until I got the Blu Ray, I figured, since it was a long weekend, what the heck (and, per usual, I was done by mid Saturday anyway). But by the time I got to the Scoobynatural episode, I started thinking about the best episodes of the show that make fun of itself. To be honest, that's why the show has lasted so long...it can be serious, but it can also ben amazingly funny at times by making fun of itself.

This Top 5 is my 5 favorite self-depreciating, yet hilarious episodes of Supernatural. I'll try not to give too many spoilers for those who have never seen the show, but it's going to be hard, so brace yourself for spoilers.

#5: 8:08 Hunteri Heroci
The basic premise of this episode is that a former friend of Sam and Dean's father, who is a telepath, has now grown old and gotten dementia. He's in a nursing home, in and out of consciousness, spending his days watching old Bugs Bunny/Road Runner cartoons and basically lives in them (and anyone who gets too close to him gets the same sorts of weirdness). The doctor who runs the nursing home has decided to use the telepath to rob banks and the homes of other patients (in very Wyle E. Coyote style...dropping anvils, black disc holes that allow you to go through walls or vaults, etc). The boys have to fight back Road Runner style. Here's part of the big fight scene and some highlights:

And I kind of like this clip of the Castiel (who is an angel) highlights of the episode (because he literally made that episode with his total uncouthness that tends to make him a total dork, but in a weirdly sexy way):

Of course, they defeat the bad buy and, because of the danger of the dementia-ridden telepath, Castiel had to step in and help to relieve his mind in a way that won't kill him. Gotta love Cass.

This episode makes my list because it reminds me of the good 'ole Looney Toon days. Despite being a Disney girl, I never missed a single episode of Looney Toons and I know those classic episodes as well as the classic Disney ones. It's just sad that they are now considered inappropriate for children because of their violence and political incorrectness. I don't understand this world now. But anyway...that is a lost cause now I guess.

#4: 5:08 Changing Channels
Sam and Dean get sucked into TV Land by the Trickster (aka Loki (and let's leave that alone for now), aka something I probably shouldn't reveal yet, but you'll figure out with the last video...just not who). But they get trapped in a sitcom, a soap opera, a Japanese game show, a procedural crime show, and several other shows/commercials. They realize the only way to get out is to play along to get out of each show and get to the Trickster.

And, I'm adding this one because it's my favorite and it's not in the previous video ("Dean, that's uncomfortable"...classic!):

Eventually, they capture the Trickster, he lets them go and his true identity was revealed.

#3: 3:11 Mystery Spot
Anyone who is old enough to remember Groundhog Dog Day will love this episode. Again, the Trickster is involved (gotta love him!), but in an effort to teach Sam the lesson that he is going to have to live without Dean eventually (long story involving soul selling and a short trip to hell later on), Loki traps them in a time loop, forcing Sam to live Dean's death every single day, only to wake up and it be Tuesday all over again. The funny part is how many different ways Dean dies (although there are several missing from this video). My personal favorite? "These tacos taste funny to you?".

Needless to say, the Trickster lets them move on to Wednesday, but something else bad happens and Sam has to fight his way back to that particular Tuesday again to fix everything (which obviously he does).

#2: 10:05 Fan Fiction
Up until Season 13, this was my all-time favorite Supernatural episode. If you are 10 seasons invested in a show, and the 200th episode rolls around, it's always a special one, but they decided to make it a dedication to the fans, something other shows don't tend to do, and it was the best love letter of all. It was a musical episode, but not in the way of Once Upon A Time, but in a way I've never seen before. They addressed shipping (which I don't usually have issue with, except the Sam/Dean stuff...they are brothers and, well, that's just...ewww), fan fiction (hence the title), and the original songs written specifically for the episodes are actually really good.

The basic premise of the episode is that there is a kidnapping at an all girls school and the boys go to investigate only to find that it is centered around the school's musical production based on the "Supernatural" books (a meta story-line in the series...there are a series of books written about the boys by an author who later turns out to be EXTREMELY important...and let's just leave that alone for now). The villain of this piece turns out to be Calliope (there's a mystery in that one for all you Greek myth fans out there). The funniest part though is when the boys first see the musical. The first time I saw it, I laughed so hard I almost wet myself! I guess it would be weird seeing someone perform your tragic life story in musical form right in front of you!

And here is a lot of the musical as it was performed...I'm showing this because I do really love the songs and it shows the story of the boy's life. At the end of each season, toward the big finale episodes, Carry On My Wayward Son is the song that plays as a recap song for "The Road So Far". The final version of the musical song is a fitting dedication because it's softer and again, it's the ultimate love letter to the fans.


#1 13:16 Scoobynatural
I wanted to not like this episode. I felt this was pushing the envelope way too far, even for this show. But what I discovered pretty quickly, especially as a person who watched Scooby-Doo religiously as a kid (although I did grow out of it, unlike Disney stuff), was that there were no two shows that could have crossed together as well as these two did.

Watching Dean try to constantly hit on Daphne and never get anywhere was hilarious! He always gets the girl, but she couldn't see past Fred. But on the opposite side of that, Sam couldn't keep Velma off him! When the boys finally have to explain that ghosts are real, there is a total classic Scooby moment and, like Fan Fiction, a love letter from Supernatural to Scooby Doo.

To make the Scooby gang happy, they give the Scoobies their typical ending, and then solve the mystery the Sam and Dean way.

Honorable Mention - 6:15 The French Mistake
This episode used to be #5 on the list, but I guess now it's #6. In an effort to hide a relic from the Archangel Raphael, Balthazar (another angel), opens a portal to another world and throws Sam and Dean into it. Problem is, it's "our" world where Sam is his "real" alter-ego Jared Padalecki and Dean is Jensen Ackles. The hilarity ensues because they are trying to be actors playing "themselves" in a world without magic. But watching them trying to act...OMG! What adds to the hilarity is that all the "backstage" people are named after the real directors, producers, writers, and etc from the show.

And when they meet with Cass and his real persona of Misha Collins, even more hilarity:

Since Jared married Genevieve Cortese (aka the demon Ruby version 2.0) in real life, that adds to the funny.

They end up back in "their" world and fix things enough to move forward with what was happening in that season, but it was a nice "break" from the heaviness of that season.

Normally, I wouldn't do a spoiler like this, but here is every single "The Road So Far" from seasons 1-13. If you haven't seen the show ever, I probably wouldn't recommend you watch this (because you probably won't understand it anyway, they go by awfully fast), but I absolutely adore recaps and the highlights of all the best of every episode does show how amazing it actually is, so what the heck! Besides, it is interesting to see how young they look from Season 1 to Season 13. It is the longest running American sci-fi show ever (only topped by Doctor Who). Oh, and get used to hearing the same song 13 times in a row. Sometimes, there are mid-season Roads, but these aren't included in this video (it would probably be an hour long then). I'll leave with this.

Oncer with a broken heart

There is one episode of my favorite show left...Once Upon A Time. It's had its ups and downs, high points and low points, but overall, I have stuck by it despite it all and have never regretted a single moment of it. It's an Asper/OCD thing to get overly attached to fictional things, so I feel more loss over something like a TV show than I would towards a human. Most people don't understand this and I wish I could explain it better, but it's just how I'm built.

For those that don't watch it, at the end of season 6, they lost quite a few of the original cast members, shifted locations, basically changed the entire story line, and moved the show to Friday nights instead of Sundays. It was a hard shift to accept at first, but the writing was better than the past four seasons (honestly, only the first two seasons were really good story-wise, I was just too attached to the characters by that point), and I started to see it, not as my old show, but a new twist on my old friend. I still missed Snow and Charming, but I was dealing with the loss and was becoming attached to the new characters. They just didn't give the me or the rest of the audience enough time to adjust.

For the past seven years though, it's the one thing in my life I always knew I could count on to be there for me. It has always been that little dose of hope that has kept me going through the rough patches with characters that have meant more to me than most of the "real" people in my life. All the real world has ever given me is despair, lack of faith, mistrust, and pain. Once Upon A Time has always given me hope, faith and trust in happy endings, even for those who might not deserve them like me (or so I've always been told by those who were the ones who were supposed to have loved me). That show gave me a family, albeit an imaginary one.

Of course I have the Blu-Rays to enjoy forever and there is always Netflix, the books, my Funkos, etc. And yes, I have other shows to watch, but nothing brought my Disney life, my fictional world, and my real heart together like Once did. And it wasn't just me, heck, Snow and Charming got married in real life too, so the show obviously changed more than just my life.

I am sure that next week will be extremely emotional for me. I started bawling like a baby at the end of this week's episode. I guess I should be grateful for the fact that they knew the end was coming, so it will be a proper ending, instead of a last minute cancellation with an ending that never gets resolved. But I'm not grateful, I feel a bit betrayed by Disney and ABC for not supporting one of it's main shows.

I don't think that networks understand how people watch TV anymore. It's not about the ratings. Shows like Once and Lucifer (which also got cancelled and didn't get enough warning) have a pretty big fan base, but don't pull in the numbers because most people watch them after broadcast either on their DVRs or on Hulu (like I do)...but then again, it still pulled in a couple of million viewers a week and, on a Friday night, I would say that is a win. Even when I had a DVR, I preferred to watch shows after the fact so I could edit out the commercials. I HATE commercials, always have and nothing ruins the flow of a show like a commercial. It's one of the reasons why I've never watched Supernatural on TV and, instead, always opted to wait until it came out on DVD. What's the use of even watching shows anymore if they are going to get cancelled either right out of the gate, or right when you get attached to them?

There will NEVER be another show like this one, at least not for me and, at this stage of my life, that worries me. Without that influx of hope, even in the smallest of amounts, where does that leave me? Sure, there are other shows I watch and love, but none of them leave me with that feeling of utter peace like Once did. They are just for the purpose of escapism (which works, but not enough). I guess I'm just really broken-hearted right now and I'm sad that I won't get to go on any new adventures with other Oncers.

I never got around to buying thread for my Snow and Charming project, but I'm thinking that my next paycheck, I want to do that. Maybe this is what I need to get me stitching again. I started watching Once on Netflix from the beginning last night.

For those that have never watched the show or never finished watching it, try it (or try it again). There are seasons or parts of seasons that lag a bit, but there is always a purpose to each story line and it's well worth the lag.
Season 1 Promo:

And the change in Season 7 Promo:

Mobile homes and dead things

Living in a trailer is a weird experience. I guess, especially since I do live in tornado country, I should be more scared than I am, but that's not something I've really been too worried about. Flooding is never an issue because, at least one side of my trailer is at least 4 ft off the ground (the other is less than 2 thanks to the slope of the park I live in). I'm not a fan of trailer park life because of the kind of neighbors I sometimes end up with thanks to the rentals that are out there. When it was all homeowners, it was a completely different experience. It goes through good and bad phases though. Sometimes the cops are out there all the time, other times all is quiet.

But because skirting around the base is strange and there are pipes running in and out in places, animals like to get under my house, especially cats. They fight, they mate, they give birth and, worst of all, they die.

Have you ever had a mouse die in your walls and it smells up your house for a week or so? Imagine that smell times 10 for three weeks instead of one. That's a rotting cat. Every couple of years, I have to deal with this smell and I've recently been dealing with it for 7 (yes, that is seven) weeks. Normally, I would just call the city and they would have animal control come out and get it, but this time, I was told that the city would no longer come to the trailer park and it would be my responsibility to deal with it. I work in a lab and can deal with dead people and body parts all day...animals (even cats), not so much.

A couple of weeks ago, as I was taking Bam to the vet for his routine check up, I saw a cat dragging a dead road kill cat (it was obvious what it was) across my yard. I hissed the cat away, put Bam in the car, and went back inside to get stuff to deal with the dead cat (I wasn't sure I could do it, but I was gonna try). As I came back out of the house, supplies in hand, the dead cat head was disappearing underneath my house! I did not know that cats were cannibals, but apparently, this demon is. I've been trying to keep him away, but to no avail. Everyone has an opinion on cat repellent and none of them has worked so far, but last week, I saw a dead cat in the road that looked a lot like this demon cat and I haven't seen him around the house, so maybe he finally got his.

One weekend, I made the mistake of using a cinnamon smell in all my Scentsy burners (12 in all), and then the entire house ended up smelling like a dead man with a pack of cinnamon gummy bears in his pocket which, ironically, was even worse than just the dead smell. I started to think maybe a human was actually under my house, rotting away because the smell seemed to be getting stronger. I tend to collect cans of Febreeze and I've used almost every single one up. Nothing is working.

I should also say, there is no way in Hades I would EVER crawl up under my trailer. I'm too fat, too scared of bugs, and I don't want to see any dead things (or partially dead things, or live things). I did look under the trailer, but I saw nothing, so I called myself doing my due diligence, and let it go (don't sing it...sorry). I was going to have to live with the smell until it decomposed.

It got so bad, Bam and Bugs wouldn't even go in that end of the house. It's a good thing we sleep on the couch, because my bedroom has been pretty much off limits. I still get ready in my bathroom, but there have been no long baths for a while now. My other tub isn't big enough for that "relaxing soak", so it just sits there, gathering dust.

The air conditioner guys were so put off by the smell in my house, they worked on air motor outside. The kid that worked with the main guy offered to come back and remove the dead animal for me because, and this is his words, "no one should have to live like this". So last night, he came by and crawled under my house. He removed two dead cats, four squirrels, a rat, and a possum, all in various stages of decomp. He left the bone pile of already eaten animals. This cat really was Satanic!

That kid deserved the $100 I gave him. He left a vent hole open on both sides of my skirting so it can air out and he said he'd come back and fix it. I hope he does because I know nothing about that stupid skirting (although I probably could figure it out). He's also gonna come back and do some other work for me as well. I'm leery of strangers, but this kid seems OK (and I do know where he works and his mother-in-law is the trailer park manager, so I know where to go if he does something bad).

Needless to say, the smell has permeated every square inch of my house and I don't have any clue how long it will take before it's completely gone. Hopefully though, no fresh kills will find their way under my house, at least for a while! If they do, it's gonna be a LONG summer!

Shih-Tzu's and blowing air

Either I'm running out of topics to discuss or my brain is going haywire, but I've been having some random rambles lately, and here we go again! But I do have another random question of the week...it seems to be a new thing with me. Instead of cross stitch progress of the week, I want to know your thoughts about weird topics of the week. Yep, I've lost my mind!

I live in the South. It's hot here already and it will only get worse as the summer starts. My air conditioner decided to start rattling (loudly) this weekend, so I got scared and turned it off, just until I could get a repairman out today. It got up to 86 degrees in the house on Sunday (which, since I'm cold-natured, didn't really register much with me), but since both pups are WAY past due for haircuts, I had every ceiling fan on and a couple of standing fans too, so they wouldn't overheat. Well, Bam wasn't having it and kept hiding under blankets. I could hear him wheezing from the heat, but he HATED having that air blowing on him, even from just the ceiling fan. I took the blanket away, but then he just started hiding under the couch pillows. Bugs wasn't much better and he kept hiding behind furniture.

After a while, I thought I'd get up and do something, so I bagged up some old clothes for a work colleague to sell at a church thing, and both boys kept trying to hide in the closet...it was shameful, so I gave up after four bags of clothes (I had a LOT of skinny clothes rotting it the closet since I got fat again), so back to the couch I went, back behind the couch Bugs went, and back under the pillows Bam went:

It's hard to see his face, but trust me when I say Bam is giving me the evil-eye for removing the pillow from his head here (and yes, I'm back to watching Supernatural).

That got me to thinking...you see dogs riding with their heads out car windows all the time, but I can't say I've ever seen a Shih-Tzu do that. Mine don't do that because; a) they are seat-belted in (like the law requires and for safety issues) and; b) because they are too busy trying to get in my lap to pay attention to the windows. If I ever do crack the windows, they try to wiggle out of the belt and get in the floor (which they never can do, but they try), so I don't open the windows for that very reason.

What issues do Shih-Tzu's have with blowing air? I just figured mine were cold-natured like me because I keep the house warmer than normal and that's what they are used to, but Zander and Zach were the exact same way. Whenever any of them get haircuts (or got haircuts for those who have passed), they always shake like they are freezing for several weeks, despite the time of year.

So I guess that's my question of the week...does anyone know of a Shih-Tzu that likes to have air in his (or her) face or is it a breed thing to hate it? Or have I just raised two generations of cold-natured weirdos who hate air blowing in their faces? Any thoughts?

Fate has a horrible way of showing you the "why" of life

An ex-coworker and friend lost her husband very suddenly a couple of weeks ago. He was 42, younger than I am. She has the same issues my sister does, manic depressive disorder (although her's is a LOT worse than my sister's). She relied on her husband for, not just financial support, but complete and total emotional support. That is gone for her now and she's utterly broken. She has no idea how to function on her own. I can't even imagine that kind of feeling because I only know how to function alone.

As someone built without sympathy or empathy, it's hard for me to be supportive, because frankly, I don't know how to help her. The kind of help and support she needs, I'm not able to give and that's what makes me sad for her. I feel bad because I can't help her. I do that a lot when people die. I feel sad because I can't feel sad. Plus, I can't understand what she's lost because I can't even fathom relying so heavily on another person to support me 100% (for that matter, even 1%). But her husband was a very good man and none of them deserved this, so I do understand that.

When I was 10, I cried like a baby at my Papa's funeral because I couldn't cry like everyone else. Even then I knew I was "off" and it scared me, so I cried (and looked "normal", so I guess it worked, but I felt like a fraud because everyone thought I was so distraught). He was my favorite Grandfather (my Father's dad), but I didn't comprehend why everyone was so upset because death is a natural fact of life, even at 10 knew that. I was gonna miss him, but I just didn't feel remorse like everyone else. He too was an amazing man, but he was old, he was a heavy smoker who got lung cancer and, his is passing wasn't sudden, so it wasn't like anyone was surprised or unprepared (again, another thing I couldn't understand when it came to the amount of some people's grief level).

Granted, he is also the reason why I don't go to funerals now, because, at the visitation, my Nannie (my Father's mother) decided that I needed to "kiss him goodbye" and picked me up and tried to make me kiss him in his coffin...yes, you read that right...IN HIS COFFIN! I will NEVER forget that waxy face and that formaldehyde/flesh smell (which, ironically I deal with every day at work, but in a different form). Thankfully, I was still fat then too, she was small, and couldn't hold me (someone intervened too, I don't remember who, but my screaming bloody murder was disrupting everyone, so there is no telling who it could have been), so I didn't actually get close enough to actually touch him, but I got close enough to scar me for life. THAT is the only memory I have of him now, thanks to her, all the others have faded, but I digress.

As often as I want a man in my life, I could never let myself depend or trust someone with my life so completely. I'm just not built that way. Because of certain events in my life, I've learned I can't depend on other people long-term and I have to take care of myself. There is a reason why I don't have someone, because it isn't fair to another person to not have my full and complete attention. I can't have that "Mr. Wonderful" like my friend did and my sister does, because technically, I just don't need him. Fate tends to deal me my big needs when they arise, but never my big wants. I tend to supply myself with the little needs and wants on my own. I've always been very resourceful in that way. A "Mr. Wonderful" is a want for me, not a need.

When I was married before, it was all about him...he was the one with the extreme issues and I was the support system, which was fine...for like two years and then I couldn't handle it anymore and that was that. It was a project for me like any other project in my life, love had nothing to do with it (I realize that now, hindsight and all that). Once I bored with it, I was done. It was not a good thing for him, but that's just the Asper way (which I didn't know at the time). It's also probably why I had to deal with stalker issues from him for many years afterwards (and I'm still not sure, upon occasion, I'm not still dealing with them today), but I guess that was fate's way of punishing me for trying to buck her system.

Sometimes I still have moments because I see happy couples and I still want that...it's my inner teenage Asper still wanting to be a "normal" neurotypical...damn that social conditioning! But, I know deep down that I'm really not built to share my life with anyone because I can't trust someone enough, I can't depend on someone enough, I couldn't lean on someone when I wanted to, and I couldn't love someone in that "true love" kind of way. How does one even give oneself over to someone else so completely, or even at all? Is there a limit on how much emotion you should share with others? Granted, I know I'm at the far end of a spectrum (which isn't good, I get that), but from my end, I know I'll always be protected from the pain she's feeling now because she's on the complete opposite end of that same spectrum.

Unfortunately, because I'm on said spectrum, there is no "middle ground". It's an either/or kind of life for both me and my friend. She's destined to depend on someone and will eventually find another, I'm destined to depend on myself. I guess that should be a sad thing for me, but somehow it makes me feel better because of that stupid saying, "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all". Yeah, give me my loneliness any day than the excruciating pain that she's going through.

The Color Game - A Correction?

I got "corrected" by a fellow geek through work (doesn't work with me, but I work with) that Jessica's color is supposedly purple and I watched the show wrong. I took great offence at this, partially because a) I'm OCD so I know what I'm talking about; b) because I don't like being told I'm wrong when I'm not (that's all Asper); and c) because I've watched the show enough times that I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

I asked this person if he has actually watched the show and he said he had, but when I mentioned specific scenes (like Trish's coat, the graffiti in the theater, or the sign for the Royal Dragon Restaurant, he didn't know what I was talking about, and these would be very specific things one would notice if they had seen the show and were looking at for these color variations). If it hadn't been a phone call, I probably would have forced him to watch a YouTube video or something to prove my point (and I can't guarantee that won't be the first thing I do next time I see him, probably months after he's forgotten about today).

Well, after looking online I found some videos on YouTube actually discussing this whole thing, but again, almost all of them mention blue (I ran across two that talked about purple, but one guy's review didn't even sound like he had actually even watched the show at all, at least not the same Defenders that I watched, so that one doesn't even count). But it was still enough to put doubt in my brain, so, just to make sure, I have checked on my Sony laptop, my Macbook, my iPad, my iPhone 8, my work monitor, as well as my crappy first gen Sony flat screen TV and all show BLUE (in varying shades, but all still blue).

Yes, there are times when the blues appear sort of purple around the reds - that's just a color thing...red is more dominant and will do that to blue. It's why painters have to be careful when mixing colors...to make purple, you use a lot less red than blue. Same with making green...blue is the dominant so you use more yellow than blue, but I'm getting off topic. Point is, if Jessica's "color" is supposed to be purple, someone at Marvel TV goofed because it is most definitely blue in The Defenders! Here's the opening credits (red, blue yellow, green, in that order):

Yes, I know I'm technically diagnosed "crazy" with all my issues, but on this issue, I am not crazy...it's friggin blue! I'm not sure why this walked all over me, but I have literally been fuming Daredevil red all day long! Maybe that was his point, as one of my co-workers pointed out, because I am "funny" (her words, not mine) when I'm riled up. Glad people "enjoy" it when I have to take more Xanax in a day (which, by the way, is also blue).