Trapped from one small space to another
First of all, thank EVERYONE for your support! I am so grateful to have such good bloggie friends!! Can't necessarily say the same thing about the friends in my real world other than just a couple, but still! I am going to respond to everyone's emails and comments...just please be patient with me right now.
I still haven't gone back to work yet. I can't leave the house barely at all and, if I do, not for very long and NEVER alone. Yesterday was the first day I was able to take a shower without someone else in the house, but I couldn't keep the door closed, so the floor got soaked. The nightmares are getting worse too. I talked to the therapist at the hospital (to get my work excuse extended) and she suggested maybe I should come back to the hospital. I was still laughing when I hung up on her!
Basically, I'm extremely terrified of small places like bathrooms and showers, but I can't leave my tiny 1150 sq ft trailer because I'm terrified of the outside world. Every light also has to be on because my fear of the dark has also gone bizonker-nuts. The only way I can explain it is that the tiny spaces remind me of the hospital room and the outside world stirs up my social anxiety disorder and I've always been scared of the dark, so of course that fear is exacerbated with the rest of them.
My boss took me out to the drug store to get my meds yesterday and we drove around for a bit, but it left me with an extremely bad headache today, so I guess I'm glad I got my Stadol filled on a whim yesterday too. It also proves how suicidal I'm not because Stadol could kill me in literally two seconds if I use it wrong and I have no desire to, I just want my headache to stop.
I really want to stitch, but my hands won't stop shaking enough and I can't focus at all, so I haven't been able to (and I certainly can't with a headache). But my stitchy bug is back (I think), I just can't physically do it right now, but hopefully soon.
I'm still trying to get caught up on the outside world, but my hopes are with all my friends in Texas and now Florida. Take care of yourselves and BE CAREFUL! I can't believe hurricane season has barely started and it's already this bad. I hate to see what it will be like by the end of the season. Makes me feel stupid whining about my stupid little problems!
I still haven't gone back to work yet. I can't leave the house barely at all and, if I do, not for very long and NEVER alone. Yesterday was the first day I was able to take a shower without someone else in the house, but I couldn't keep the door closed, so the floor got soaked. The nightmares are getting worse too. I talked to the therapist at the hospital (to get my work excuse extended) and she suggested maybe I should come back to the hospital. I was still laughing when I hung up on her!
Basically, I'm extremely terrified of small places like bathrooms and showers, but I can't leave my tiny 1150 sq ft trailer because I'm terrified of the outside world. Every light also has to be on because my fear of the dark has also gone bizonker-nuts. The only way I can explain it is that the tiny spaces remind me of the hospital room and the outside world stirs up my social anxiety disorder and I've always been scared of the dark, so of course that fear is exacerbated with the rest of them.
My boss took me out to the drug store to get my meds yesterday and we drove around for a bit, but it left me with an extremely bad headache today, so I guess I'm glad I got my Stadol filled on a whim yesterday too. It also proves how suicidal I'm not because Stadol could kill me in literally two seconds if I use it wrong and I have no desire to, I just want my headache to stop.
I really want to stitch, but my hands won't stop shaking enough and I can't focus at all, so I haven't been able to (and I certainly can't with a headache). But my stitchy bug is back (I think), I just can't physically do it right now, but hopefully soon.
I'm still trying to get caught up on the outside world, but my hopes are with all my friends in Texas and now Florida. Take care of yourselves and BE CAREFUL! I can't believe hurricane season has barely started and it's already this bad. I hate to see what it will be like by the end of the season. Makes me feel stupid whining about my stupid little problems!
Comments
Linda
Could you manage some of that diamond painting if stitching is too much? Just to feel creative. Or just organise your stash, that's always fun.
Just to make you smile - my son discovered a clip of the people from the Lego Movie all shouting "Hey" and throwing their arms up. Apparently this is the funniest thing ever and must be played 100 times in a row. This morning he was upset by a latent memory from another clip and immediately looked for "Hey" because he knew it would make him happy again.