Life sucks but hey, I'm still alive (I think)

Some of you may have noticed that I didn't post my weekly stitching progress this week. That is because I have pretty much spent the entire week at the Hospice House watching my Grandmother pass away. They can't verify if she did actually have a stroke last Tuesday, but that is more than likely what has happened. As of this moment, she is still holding on, but honestly, I sure hope not for much longer. I know hospice is supposed to be more "humane", but watching her basically starve to death since she isn't conscious enough to eat or drink doesn't seem very humane to me.

Ironically enough, Amber and I have had to be the ones taking care of basically everything...yeah, let's put the two most emotionally damaged and mentally unstable (lots more me than her on that front) people in charge of everything! My Aunt can't deal because she has taken care of Grandmother her entire life (and she's the baby). My mother can't deal because...well, I'm not sure why she can't deal other than she's just a massive pain in the butt and everything always has to be about her. My uncle can't deal because I doubt he's ever dealt with anything on this side of the family before and doesn't have a clue how to.

I'm exhausted, pissed off, upset, and...well I'm too tired to think of any more descriptives. But I have been stitching at the hospice house since I can't sleep, although my progress hasn't been great. It's hard to concentrate when about every third or fourth breath she just stops for longer and longer amounts of time.

I do get tonight off because Bam had his dental surgery today and he needs me more than Grandmother does right now. What a time to be weening off anti-depressants...my shrink is going to get an earful next visit, that's for sure.