Finished wall

I know I tend to be a broken record, but work still sucks, but there is a brief glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. My massive work project is almost finished and it's also almost Disney-time, so meds or not, life is looking up. But knowing my luck, I'm not going to get too optimistic.

I finally got all my April A to Z cross stitch projects framed and put them on a wall where there is room to grow:

And here they are in order:





I still haven't done any stitching, but I have FINALLY finished a massive diamond painting:

Granted, it's not the Aaron's Crazy Thinking Putty that the therapist wanted me to do, but at least I managed to keep my hands and my mind occupied in my "down time" instead of focusing on the negative. Don't get me wrong, I still have a head full of negative, but at least I'm managing it better.

I really need to say thank you to all my blog friends who encouraged me to make it through. Normally, I'm not big on human interaction during these episodes, but you guys really did help me along. Hopefully, things will get back to normal soon and I can go back to supporting you guys!

Update

Things are FINALLY getting better, at least somewhat. Work is suckier than ever and my attention span is still that of a fly, but at least I feel better. The meds seem to be working even though people keep telling me that I'm speaking like a rabbit on speed...my brain works faster than my mouth, so I speak fast to keep up and I always have, so I'm not sure what the difference is. I guess because I don't do it depressively anymore, I'm a perky rabbit now and that's weird to everyone.

They put me on something called Trentillex which has about a million side effects but I only seem to have one...constant itching. When I go back to the shrink at the end of the month, I'm pretty sure she's gonna up the dose, so I'm not sure how much worse the itching will get. I'm already covered in sores from scratching and no amount of baby oil baths or Benadryl seems to be helping. I'm still not entirely sure that it's the right drug because it only seems to be helping the depression and not the ADD or OCD.

On the therapy front, I still think it is incredibly stupid and I'm fighting her all the way (but that's just what I do). She seriously wants me to buy something called Crazy Aaron's Thinking Putty and play with it constantly because it will "calm my mind". Ain't gonna happen and not just because it's expensive, but because it's the stupidest idea I've ever heard of. I'm also supposed to learn to use a "new" word and mean it...NO. Yeah, that's probably not going to happen either. I'm not built that way. Seriously, therapy is SO stupid! How in the world do people go constantly and benefit from it?

I haven't started stitching again (and probably won't until Disney is over with), but I have started working on a new diamond painting/cross stitch, so at least my hands are busy when I'm at home. I've also been watching all the seasons of Once Upon A Time again and, for some weird reason, that seems to be helping too. Probably because it's such a hope-pushing show. I'm trying to keep up with Disney planning, but I'm also doing a horrible job with that as well. I seriously can't focus on anything for longer than 30 minutes at a time, which, most of the time, functions well at work, but not so much for everything else.

I'm going to try to start reading blogs again, maybe by the weekend. I miss seeing everyone else's stitching progress even if I don't feel like doing it myself...at least not yet. I've also just taken my last April A to Z cross stitch project to Hobby Lobby for framing and, once I decide where I'm going to put them all, I'll post a picture of all of them hanging together (or at least that's the plan...I'm not good with follow-through right now).

But anyway, I'm already getting bored, but I thought I'd better update a bit so that you guys that are worried about me can hopefully feel better. I've really got to break down and respond to emails too, but I've got to go do something else for a while.

Well...

Sorry about the lack of a stitching post this past weekend...frankly, I didn't stitch a single lick last week (nor have I this week either).

It's still very early in the first med trial, but they put me on Trentillex (a fairly new drug, but definitely new to me). Granted, it hasn't quite been a week yet, but I seem to be less depressed although my anxiety and ADD has gone through the roof and the least little thing sets me off. We are definitely going to have to have a conversation about it. I think she's focused on the wrong bad symptoms...sure, the depression is a worry, but the fact that I can't function properly at work is a bigger problem for me. Trentillex has some pretty nasty side effects too, but so far, mine have been minimal to non-existent (another bad sign it's probably not working right or not strong enough).

I just thought I'd give an update so those that are worried about me can feel better. If anyone has any experience with this drug (previously known as Brintellix), let me know. There really isn't much online about it other than its side effects and I'm barely having any of those.