Sunday, September 17, 2017

Long and busy week

I didn't get a single stitch done, but I did make it through a work week (somehow). I did spend most of the week locked in my office. The stuttering was horrible until almost the end of the week and I still can't really answer the phone properly. I am going across the street to the hospital, but I bolt in and out faster than Speedy Gonzales on speed. At least I'm saving a ton of money not stopping at Starbucks to get tea or energy drinks in the morning!

My fears about my work colleagues was justified. Everyone was either over-compensating or ignoring me completely. I really didn't care as much as I thought I would. I bothers me more that the people who actually knew I was in the loony bin thought I was there because I'm a nutter and that they didn't know the truth. A lot of people just thought I was off sick due to my mental issues, but didn't know about the hospital stay. Those people don't bother me as much and I'm not sure why.

By the end of the week I managed to go to the gas station by myself (but only because my gas light came on). I couldn't stay long enough to fill the tank because there were too many people roaming around, but it was a step. I also went to Walgreens and picked up my prescriptions at the drive-thru but I still can't go to Sonic. I went out Saturday with my Sister to get our hair done and we did a fair amount of shopping (even to the mall). Sephora forgot to put one of my purchases in my bag, so I ended up going back to the mall by myself to pick it up, but it wasn't as easy as it was supposed to be and my second trip to Walgreens didn't happen.

Point being, I'm no where near back to normal, but I'm dealing as best as I can which is still a pretty sad state of affairs. The only thing that is in no way, shape, form, or fashion improving is the nightmares...they are getting more and more terrible by the day. I wake up every single morning at 2:47 am with the first one (not sure of the significance of that time and it's driving me crazy trying to figure it out), and they just keep on until the alarm goes off for work. Early Thursday morning, I just got up at 4:30 am and stayed up because those were the worst I'd ever had leading to full-on sleep paralysis, something I haven't done since I was a kid. You know, when you're awake but you can't open your eyes or move and you're still stuck in the dream?

So Friday morning, I decided not to sleep at all. I did end up snoozing for about an hour in the chair sitting straight up with the tv on, but nowhere near long enough to hit dream sleep and nowhere near 2:47, so it was the first (and only) night I haven't had nightmares since I got out of the hospital. Friday wasn't such a good work day though, so I've just given up and decided to deal with them as best as I can. I've tried watching horror movies to try to have "normal" nightmares, but all that does is put Freddy Kruger in the nuthouse with me! I'll take a good knife-wielding serial-killing psychopath over these dreams any day...being trapped in that bloody hospital.

I need to officially get started on that stupid letter to whoever about how I was treated at the hospital, but now I don't see the point anymore. I just want to forget it all. Besides, there is a lot about to go on next week and frankly, I just don't have time. I just want to go back to "my" normal again.

7 comments:

Mii Stitch said...

Glad you've managed to cope with work and the colleagues.
It seems things are slowly settling back to normal for you.
Just hope you can soon get some sleep and for those nightmares to go away.

Khristine Doiron said...

Oh Keebles! I wish I knew the magic thing to say to you that would make you feel better and forget all about that horrible time.

As for the 2:47 thing I might have an answer. The same thing was happening to a friend of mine and she read something about it being the time of the night when you are most connected to your spiritual side (not sure if you believe in that or not) Anywho I found this

WAKING BETWEEN 1:00AM AND 3:00AM

This is the energy meridian associated with the Chinese medicine body clock and the liver. Waking up at this time is associated with the emotions of anger and excess yang energy. Try drinking cool water and taking ownership of the situation that caused you to feel angry in order to rest peacefully through the night.

Hope this helps the nightmares.

Linda said...

I'm glad to hear that things are a tad bit better Keiley. Wish I could help.

Linda

Jo who can't think of a clever nickname said...

Thanks for posting! You have done incredibly well getting through an entire week at work, well done for that. And for giving everything else a go too.
I can see why you're annoyed with the people who knew where you were - why should they assume that about you? Why didn't they think "gosh, what a terrible mistake the hospital made?"
Waking at the same time every night could be to do with sleep cycles, you'd naturally wake at a certain point in your cycle, don't know how to stop it though.
Hope this week is better for you (((hugs)))

Justine said...

Wish I knew what to say but - I'm glad to hear that you made it through the week.

Leonore Winterer said...

I know it must be frustrating for you how slowly things are returning back to what you had achieved before, but I really think you did do well for your first week. I sincerly hope things have continued on their path to normality since then!

Bethan said...

I'm glad you managed to get through a week at work, and some victories! Lots of hope and positive thoughts headed your way x