I didn't get a single stitch done, but I did make it through a work week (somehow). I did spend most of the week locked in my office. The stuttering was horrible until almost the end of the week and I still can't really answer the phone properly. I am going across the street to the hospital, but I bolt in and out faster than Speedy Gonzales on speed. At least I'm saving a ton of money not stopping at Starbucks to get tea or energy drinks in the morning!
My fears about my work colleagues was justified. Everyone was either over-compensating or ignoring me completely. I really didn't care as much as I thought I would. I bothers me more that the people who actually knew I was in the loony bin thought I was there because I'm a nutter and that they didn't know the truth. A lot of people just thought I was off sick due to my mental issues, but didn't know about the hospital stay. Those people don't bother me as much and I'm not sure why.
By the end of the week I managed to go to the gas station by myself (but only because my gas light came on). I couldn't stay long enough to fill the tank because there were too many people roaming around, but it was a step. I also went to Walgreens and picked up my prescriptions at the drive-thru but I still can't go to Sonic. I went out Saturday with my Sister to get our hair done and we did a fair amount of shopping (even to the mall). Sephora forgot to put one of my purchases in my bag, so I ended up going back to the mall by myself to pick it up, but it wasn't as easy as it was supposed to be and my second trip to Walgreens didn't happen.
Point being, I'm no where near back to normal, but I'm dealing as best as I can which is still a pretty sad state of affairs. The only thing that is in no way, shape, form, or fashion improving is the nightmares...they are getting more and more terrible by the day. I wake up every single morning at 2:47 am with the first one (not sure of the significance of that time and it's driving me crazy trying to figure it out), and they just keep on until the alarm goes off for work. Early Thursday morning, I just got up at 4:30 am and stayed up because those were the worst I'd ever had leading to full-on sleep paralysis, something I haven't done since I was a kid. You know, when you're awake but you can't open your eyes or move and you're still stuck in the dream?
So Friday morning, I decided not to sleep at all. I did end up snoozing for about an hour in the chair sitting straight up with the tv on, but nowhere near long enough to hit dream sleep and nowhere near 2:47, so it was the first (and only) night I haven't had nightmares since I got out of the hospital. Friday wasn't such a good work day though, so I've just given up and decided to deal with them as best as I can. I've tried watching horror movies to try to have "normal" nightmares, but all that does is put Freddy Kruger in the nuthouse with me! I'll take a good knife-wielding serial-killing psychopath over these dreams any day...being trapped in that bloody hospital.
I need to officially get started on that stupid letter to whoever about how I was treated at the hospital, but now I don't see the point anymore. I just want to forget it all. Besides, there is a lot about to go on next week and frankly, I just don't have time. I just want to go back to "my" normal again.