I'm home. I did a lot of thinking on my way home and I think my new meds have finally kicked in. The only anxiety I felt was through the whole internet fiasco. My temper was relatively in check otherwise. I was rude, but that's nothing new, I can't really control my mouth, what I'm thinking falls out before I can stop it (which is why I prefer to communicate through text or email or blogging, I can edit before I send). And every single thing my Mother does annoys the snot out of me, so I guess I was lucky I didn't do something worse (and trust me, much to my shame, I have).
I did have some issues with noise pollution and my head is paying the price now. My Step-dad is pretty much deaf due to a war injury, so TV volume is set a lot higher than I'm used to, both the living room TV and the TV in his bedroom were both running different channels at the same time (even though most of the time no one was in his bedroom - who pays their electric bill - Santa or Bill Gates?). I really had to focus on the TV we were watching to not be completely distracted by the TV in the other end of the house! Plus, his hearing aid was whistling pretty much all day (not that he could help it or hear it -I'm not blaming, just observing). Every one else is used to these sounds and could tune them out...for me it was like attending a rock concert, my ears are literally ringing (I keep thinking I'm still hearing his hearing aid). But surprisingly, I didn't have the anxiety I would normally have at having such noise pollution - normally too much activity like that would have my brain reeling. It did bother me and I commented on it several times, but only got "we're used to it" or "we don't notice it" or the worst "just ignore it", which just makes me pay more attention to it. I walked away with only head pain and, in all honesty, I walked in with head pain, so it just kept the headache active. It just amazes the crap out of me that no one notices the noise! But then again, maybe they are all deaf from the loud TV watching!
But all in all, it wasn't the worst Christmas I ever had! I actually got a lot of cool stuff and didn't embarrass myself (much). Zachary behaved and didn't pee on everything. Made for boring blogging, but better boring blogs then be traumatized for the next 6 months! I'm glad I was able to blog because I know it did help me get through, even if it was only psychosomatic therapy!!
I want to say a big thanks again to Vickie over at Reading And Stitching for turning me on to blogging in the first place. It really has been amazing what it has done for me both in furthering my very miniscule communication skills as well as getting my thoughts out of my head. Even though they aren't coming out of my mouth face to face to another person, for the first time in my entire existence, I feel like I'm being heard because I'm able to speak even if it's in the written form. Asperger's is hard to deal with sometimes, but not impossible to do on your own without medical intervention (if only migraines were the same). I'm constantly finding new ways to better myself and deal with my issues in the way that is best for me and blogging is just one more step on that never-ending road!
Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!