Happy Blogoversary to me (yesterday)

As per usual, I forgot my Blogoversary, but hey, better late than never, right? And this is a big one, 10 years! I went back and looked at my first post on Aug 30, 2011...it was short (yep, believe it or not!), but it was also quite ironic in it's wording:

This is my first blog post and I'm hoping all will go well! Facebook just isn't for me because most (o.k., all) of my "friends" don't like the same things I do, so it's useless for me to post updates about my life since they just don't get it. I've created a blog for me to share what's important to me to no one in particular (might sound sad, but there is a method to my madness). I'm going to be posting pics of my cross stitching progress, books I've read, movies or television series I've watched, or am watching, music that's important to me, and other random musings about nothing in particular. So, here goes, and wish me luck!

Ah, sweet naive me! If I only knew then the twists and turns my life would take since then. I ended up posting about a lot more than that. I told my life story (pretty much all the dark and dirty of it). I ended up sharing more of my Asper world (that I didn't intend to go into much at all). I started out participating in a lot of stitching groups tryiing to fit in, but they just made me feel more uncomfortable (I don't do well with expectations). I tried to be a "joiner", I'm just not the type. I did the April A to Z Challenge numerous years in a row, but my OCD got the better of me and I ended up doing two, then three challenges in one year and it just got to be too much (because I can't do anything in moderation). And oh, the Disney trips, tips and tricks, and pics I ended up sharing! I probably Disney'ed you guys out!

This has been a rough year, I gotta say, but I made it through it (or at least I think I have, sometimes I wonder). When it comes to blogging, and especially cross-stitching, it has been a HORRIBLE year, and for that, I must appologise to you guys. I would say, "I'll do better next year", but that would probably be a lie, since I'm still in the same frame of mind right now that I've been in, at least for the past two to three years, so I'm not going to bother (and I think I actually tried that last year in an effort to try to "visualize" it into existence...so much for that crap working, right?).

I did have the "brilliant" (lots of quotes this blog, huh?) idea of starting a YouTube Channel of all my exploits of living in the world as an Asper, my "travels", as they are, and I've filmed a lot of stuff. But filmed is all I have done. I've done nothing to learn how to edit and I've edited nothing. I just keep taking trips. some small, some big, and keep loading them on a hard drive with excuse after excuse as to why I can't do anything with them. To be honest, I think I'm just scared to take that next step of actually posting them somewhere for all to see. Blogging is one thing, vlogging is a whole other beast. Oh well, at least when I'm ready to start editing, I'll have plenty of material to keep up a schedule, since I can't afford to travel that much.

Speaking of travel, my big Massachusetts "discover my roots" trip is off. I've decided that it's just not a good time to be travelling right now, vaccinated or not. The more I learn about my geneology, the more I'm finding out that I also have roots in Maine and New Hampshire, so what was going to be a quick "run through" those states to cross them off my scratch off map, now has to be part of the journey, so that requires a reboot of the trip. My Sister and I also aren't seeing eye-to-eye on what this trip is about, so I also think it's best to regroup and maybe either go at a later time, or maybe not go together after all. The trip ended up turning into something else, and I wasn't happy about it. I need to bring it back down to geneology.

But as a year goes, on the positive side, I have traveled quite a bit for a hermit and seen new places (even if I still can't walk in a store). I've tried twice to eat take-away now, both times I ended up throwing away the food for one reason or the other, not eating it. I'm just not ready for that. On the bright side, stopping sodas and eating out has trimmed my waistline, even if it's just a little bit. And, as guess, another positive note, I'm back in therapy, even if I've been dealing with an incompetent therapist for four months, waiting on my regular one to come back (this one likes to "distract" and get me talking about stupid stuff, instead of focusing on problem issues...yes, it puts me in a better mood, but that's not what I'm paying $400/hr for, or rather my insurance is). But hey, I've also found an amazing new hobby that's got my mind running ninety to nothing...geneology! I don't now how long it will last,but obessions have always been good for me, so yea me!

On the negative side, no stitching (or not much) to show...I can't even remember when the last time I stitched was (although I guess I should look and post about it). It just doesn't work as the distraction from life that it used to. I wish I could get back to it though. Maybe when this geneology thing wears off. And don't get me started about work. I think you guys have heard me bitch enough about that subject. I think I've just resigned myself to being stuck here. I tried to move on, but apparently, no one else wants me. The Cali guys got my hopes up all over (again), only to let me down (again), which I should have seen coming, but it still blindsided me. I think my lackluster resume is what did it. I explained to them my situation, what little education I had, that I was self-taught, nothing in that piece of paper they didn't already know. But oh well. Then, when I started looking around elsewhere, I started noticing a trend, the first question EVERYONE asked me was, "what's your degree in again?". Damn. I hate those words. So, I've just given up.

But, you guys know me, I never give up completely. This whole geneology thing has started me on a new path, one I've mentioned NUMEROUS times in the past, so it shouldn't come as a shock...I've been looking at a degree is History again. I want to make sure this is not one of my short-lived fads again first, but I've done some serious soul-searching about this and I see it this way...I'm about to be 51 years old this month. It will take me approximately 3-4 years to finish a degree of any kind working full-time. Everytime I take one of those apptitude tests that tells you what you should be, it tells me an artist or a computer tech. I lost my artistic talent years ago (after I dropped that major the first time) and I've gotten where I really HATE working I.T. I'm getting too old for it, I'm female and it's a male dominated world, and frankly, I'm just sick of dealing with the B.S. of it. Just because you're "good" at something, doesn't mean that's what you should do, you should do what you "love" and I hate both of those things. I "love" history and literature and always have.

Yes, I realize I can't do much with a history degree, but so what? I have a job. Maybe I take it further and get a masters or even a doctorate? I don't have to teach, historians do a lot of work outside of academia. One thing I've noticed just going through my geneology, is the lack of information there is in certain areas I've been researching...like the Scottish witch hunts that took place in the 1590s (almost 100 years before all the other witch hunts across the world), or King James's (yes, THAT King James) obsession with witches and demons and the book he wrote himself BEFORE he commissioned his version of the bible (he was a bit off his rocker, FYI). Anything negative about James is pretty hard to find, and I'm not sure why. His history and "lifestyle" was pretty well documented. Maybe it's one of those subjects no one wants to touch with a ten foot pole (I'm not too scared of it, but still). But there is also enough stories about my family specifically, especially how so many died in the battle of Flodden fields I have typed that date so many times in death dates for individuals, I know it by heart...9 Sept 1513). I would love to find out their stories and tell them as a family. And there were so many other battles as well. I could spend the rest of my days writing books about my family! But again, just a thought, and I need to make sure I'm serious this time. I tend to change my mind a LOT!

I can get my degree in something I love, keep my day job (for now, I definitely don't want to stay here forever) and maybe write a book in my spare time and see what happens. Or maybe get a job as a historian somewhere else, and start a new adventure. Who knows! But it is a new path, and one I need to make sure I'm serious about first, but also one I probably should embark on before I get too old and too forgetful to go back to school in the first place. My memory definitely isn't what it used to be!

As far as my future with blogging, I'm not going anywhere (at least I don't think so). This is my "home" online, one of the few I have. I still don't post on Twitter, rarely post on Instagram and I also still refuse to open a Facebook account again (and yes, I know FB owns Instagram, but I try not to think about it, and I'm hoping the FCC will split them up soon). I still want to start my YouTube Channel and maybe build a real webpage, transferring my blog over there, but that would require more I.T. work after hours, and I'm not a fan of that. The fact that I have to use a computer to do geneology is annoying enough. I don't like to touch a computer when I go home (a byproduct of my crappy work life, I guess...I didn't use to be that way, but it's probably another reason why I definitely don't want to major in computer science anymore, they've gone from fun toys to annoying thorns in my side).

As always, and I feel like I don't say this enough, I can't thank you guys enough for supporting me, being there for me, and offering me the support that you have over the years, but especially throughout these last couple years. I know I have been extra whiny, and even I find myself hard to take, so I don't know how you guys put up with me, but you're always there! That's why I love the blog world more than any other! I love that you guys are honest with me and, even when we disagree, you offer your different opinion and we discuss it like rational humans...I don't even get that with the people who are physically around me. This is how relationships should be, which is why you guys are more my friends and family than anyone else, and I love you all.

Until my next post, stay safe my friends! And thank you for being there for me for 10 years! Here's to 10 more (and let's hope the next 10 are WAY better!).