Monday, September 12, 2016

Well...

The dreaded "therapist modification" process has started. Last week, I got the complete lecture on why I should be on meds forever and why the "zombie effect" is a "normal" human function and I should embrace it instead of fighting it.

I was miserable as a kid because I was trying so hard to be "normal" and fight who I was and it took me YEARS as an adult to get myself into a place where I was comfortable with myself and I realized that I'm not normal and nor will I ever be. I like who I am now (even if I'm going through a rough time brought on by external sources) and I don't feel the need to be "normal" just to please others. I wasted too many years of my life faking "normal".

But, as per usual, the therapist thinks she can "fix me" and make me "normal" by talking to me about it. It's not a chemical imbalance that can be permanently fixed with meds, it's not behavior issues that can be modified...my brain is wired differently from everyone else's. I was born this way and I'll die this way, therapy be damned...I am an Asper, here me roar!

Good thing Disney is getting closer and I don't have a therapist appointment again until AFTER Disney. You'd think, as much hassle as I give her, she wouldn't want to see me anymore anyway, but it's like a contest with them...to see which one of us breaks first. All she has to do is read my past files to know that I NEVER break first...ever. Thank goodness the shrink is better at not lecturing me!

Look out Disney World...here I come!

6 comments:

Bea said...

Nobody in the universe knows you as well as you do. Stick to your guns.

Are you getting everything done for the trip?

Tiffstitch said...

I agree with Bea, you know yourself better than any doctor/aide/counselor ever will. Hope things turn a corner soon for you.

Jo who can't think of a clever nickname said...

How do these people get their jobs? Does she really not understand how the autistic and Asperger's brains work? Why don't you give her a book? Kathy Hoopmann does some nice simple ones with pictures.

Justine said...

Sorry to hear of your continued troubles - I like Jo's suggestion of a book with pictures! Hope you can put all this to one side and focus on your upcoming trip.

Vickie said...

So sorry!!! Have fun at Disney!!!

Heather said...

Love your attitude on this! We're wired the same way as far as stubbornness goes lol. Have fun at Disney!