Saturday, October 27, 2012

Post-Disney Depression

Yes, it's real...and, as per usual, for me it's pretty serious thanks to Asperger's, but "regular" people get it too (or so I'm told). I've spent an entire year planning a trip that is over with in 11 days. All my energy has been focused on one thing for such a long time, and in a flash it's over. That would be upsetting for anyone.

Toward the end of the trip, I'm ready to come home, but once I get home and am thrust head first into the "real world", I want nothing more than to go back, or even better, start planning the next trip! It makes me moody and I don't want to talk to anybody or go anywhere or do anything. But at the same time, I can't bring myself to organize our trip pictures or put my new pins up in their books, it's just too depressing! There is no place in the world that makes me at peace like Disney World does.

I did upgrade to an annual pass, so once I get a new vehicle, I can go whenever I want, but I can't get a new vehicle yet because of my finances...nothing kills your checkbook like a Disney trip! And it never fails that bad things start happening when I'm the brokest (aka Zach's illness and my self-created Disney credit card debt). The new job and the lack of overtime money aren't helping the financial things. It doesn't bode well for one's state of mind (even though I know it's all my own doing).

This after effect of Disney World sometimes makes me wonder if it's even worth it going in the first place. It's the closest to a depression that I ever get. I'll get over it, I always do, but until I do...ugh. I try to remember all the annoying people and all the bad moments, just trying to lower the giant pedestal I have Disney put on, but it never works.

Being an Asper-girl means all my obsessions are intensified, and Disney is one of, if not THE, biggest obsession I have. I feel nothing for things that I should, things that so-called "normal" people feel (and since I don't feel those things, I can't really describe what I don't feel), but the loss of Disney is almost devastating to me, probably like a "normal person" would feel for the loss of another human. It is what it is, and knowing these feelings are stupid and misfocused doesn't make them any less real to me. Ah, the joys of being an Asper!

Life will get back to normal (or as normal as I can make it), but until then, here's looking forward to the next trip!!

1 comment:

Abbybeth said...

I agree - Post-Disney depression/blues is definitely real!

Pixie dust to you Keebs...