Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Top 10 Expressions You Love To Use
As always, go over to Kate's and Tiff's blogs to see their Top 10's for the week and if you want to join in, just let Kate know!
I'm a big user of expressions, most of which aren't fit for family entertainment, so I actually had to think a bit on this one to keep it relatively clean. I'm bad at word dyslexia, so a lot of the time what I mean to say and what actually comes out of my mouth are two separate things (and have led to some extremely embarrassing situations). I'm also horrible at using movie quotes which no one ever gets, so it just sounds like I'm speaking utter twaddle. Despite my inherent Southerness, I'm not prone to the typical Southern quotations and I tend to get annoyed when people start spouting them at me, especially when it comes to the whole "honey", "sweetie", "darlin", "sugarpie" crap.
#1: BLOODY HELL
There is probably no phrase that comes out of my mouth more than this one. It's my way of cussing without actually cussing. Americans think of it more as a novelty phrase, so they don't take it nearly as seriously as it's meant, especially out of my mouth.
When someone asks me what they should do with something, instead of asking them to hand it to me, I'm horrible at saying "just put it in my piddies" and NO ONE gets it!! Seriously, has no one ever watched Looney Toons? It was very hard to find a clip, so I had to resort to an old Babbit and Catstello cartoon, but the premise is the same...look for it at about 4:11:
When I'm questioning something, I will often say, "I Wanda, I Wendy, I wonder" and again, people just look at me like I'm insane. Granted, there was a time I watched A Fish Called Wanda way more than the average human should have, but that line always stuck out to me and, since I'm so bad at mixing up words, it suits me.
#4: SINGING RESPONSES
I know most Americans have no clue who Miranda Hart is, but she and I are a lot alike (well, other than I have no Tom Ellis in the wings). I am terrible at singing responses to people if they inadvertently quote a song lyric. I try really hard not to do this, but to no avail. Bad thing is, since I'm stuck in a generation, most of the time no one even knows the song I'm singing.
#5: DISNEY CUSSING
As the months start counting down to a Disney trip, I try to curb my natural potty mouth into something a bit less nasty and I tend to replace the bad words with Disney characters...hell becomes Hades, JC becomes Donald Duck, etc. It takes me a couple of months to change the habit and, that way, I can still cuss, but not offend the little kiddies at Disney. Unfortunately, it's not a habit I can continue and I often go back to my old horrible ways once a trip is over with.
#6: ROAST INSERTION
Like I said, I'm horrible at switching words around. One of my more famous instances was when I meant to say, "stick a fork in me, I'm done", but it came out "stick a roast in me, I'm done". Since I said this in front of several co-workers, it's now a popular phrase used around the office. Yea me. It could be worse...one time I couldn't decide if I wanted to stay "pain in the butt" or "pain in the tush" and it came out "pain in the bush". Talk about embarrassing! That's what happens when your brain runs quicker than your mouth.
When I'm trying to get someone to do something for me and they are taking their own sweet time, I'm really bad about saying "I want my two dollars" and again, no one gets it. I still content that Better Off Dead was John Cusack's finest work even if he disagrees:
#8: THE REALIST'S CATCH PHRASE
One of my favorite sayings is one of my own, "expect the worst and you're not disappointed when it happens, but you can be pleasantly surprised when it does". I'm not an pessimist by any means, but I'm not really an optimist either...I tend to fall in the realist category, but I'm also what one would generally categorize as a very unlucky person. I try to look at the bad in the best light I can, but it's not always easy and, considering my luck, it's probably not going to be a good outcome...best be prepared.
#9: THE CAP KNOWS
Ever since The Avengers came out, I have been obsessed with "I understood that reference". The older I get and the further away from popular culture I tend to stray, I totally sympathize with poor Captain America and his antiquated knowledge. At least the kids in the office understand what I mean when I say this.
One of the main issues with Aspers is that we're pretty selfish creatures by nature, probably more so than the average bear. When I do something inherently selfish and I feel like I've insulted someone, I'll quote a little Austen and say "selfishness must always been forgiven you know, because there is no hope for a cure". No one gets the reference, but it makes me smile because I do love Mansfield Park.
I have numerous other quotes and catch phrases that I say all the time, but alas, we are restricted to 10.