Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Top 10 Fancy Dress Ideas

The Suddenly Kate Show

I would probably recommend you check out Kate's and Tiff's for this topic...this isn't going to be a good one for me.

I know I've told this story a hundred times, but there is a sequel to it, so I must retell it yet again for the finale. When I was ten years old, my parents decided I was an adult and took all my toys away and gave them to my younger sister. Yes, I subsequently destroyed as many of them as I could, so I got my revenge, but there was more to the story. Anything child-like, like cartoon watching, kiddie book reading, and child events were also thrown out the window, hence Halloween was gone for me. My only job at Halloween was to take my sister out trick-or-treating...she got to dress up, I was the "adult" who chaperoned her. What I actually did was let her collect the candy, get about a block from the house, and then threaten her life, took what I wanted, and left her with the bad candy. I never claimed to be a nice kid (nor do I claim to be a nice adult either, but I do try a bit harder now).

Long story short (too late), I haven't dressed up for Halloween or any other event since the age of 9, roughly 34 years ago and I've actually managed to develop a phobia about doing it. My Asperness keeps me from performing a lot of "normal" things, especially if said things draw attention to me. When I was little, it was all about the candy and I understood to receive candy, I must subject myself to attention-drawing outfits. I was a fat kid, so I would have done practically anything for candy and it was a torture I was willing to endure. When I got older and could just threaten candy out of my sister, I managed to skip the whole dressing up side and I realized pretty quickly that maybe being forced into "adulthood" at such a young age wasn't a bad thing after all. When she got old enough to figure out how to tattle on me, then the intimidation had to stop and I just learned to buy my own candy when Halloween rolled around. I still absolutely adored the holiday, but the dressing up part was a distant, and slightly tortuous memory.

As an adult, there have been occasions where I've been asked to dress up for various occasions and I've flat out refused. I might wear a black T-shirt or maybe one with a particularly Halloween-specific theme, but other than that, fancy dress isn't ever going to happen again in my lifetime. Besides, in our Southern culture, fancy dress isn't something one does unless it's for Halloween. So, how do I build a top 10 list for an unobtainable thing? Well, I'm going to operate on the assumption that I'm not a fat Asper with social anxiety issues and try to think like a thin normal person. It's going to be a stretch of my imagination for sure, but I'm going to try! Oh, and I also debated on pulling pictures from the internet, but my imagination can't expand far enough to picture in my head exactly which direction I would go, so I decided to leave out pictures.

Yes, I'm of a certain age and of a Disney frame of mind so, of course, I have a fascination with everything Princess. I always pictured a huge princess prom dress (which didn't happen, I had a crappy prom dress for junior prom and I didn't go to senior prom), a huge princess wedding dress when I got married (which didn't happen, we had a justice of the peace ceremony in their living room), blaa, blaa blaa. The reality of the situation is that I have huge gross arms no matter how much weight I lose or gain, and since most princess dresses are either sleeveless or strapless, it's an option that I couldn't pull off in my wildest dreams, no matter how much I might think about it. But just the mention of such a dress and the first picture that comes to my mind is the dress that Snow White wore on Once Upon A Time during Ella's wedding ball. It was purple and strapless and had a huge skirt and it was simply gorgeous, especially on Ginnifer. Or, the definitive princess dress of dresses, Aurora's make it pink/make it blue dress from Sleeping Beauty, especially if it actually turned from pink to blue (hey, this is a fantasy post after all, so I can go there!).

Why not Simon, you ask? Well, anybody who knew Duran back in the day knows that John Taylor had a very specific, yet very identifiable look with the blonde streak and coiffed hair, so his look would be much easier to recreate. But as an aside, today is Simon Le Bon's 57th Birthday, so Happy B-day to the greatest love of my life (sad, but true).

I'm talking a scary, Thirteen Ghosts quality ghost, not a thrown-over-the-head sheet kind of ghost. Something worthy of Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights (see, I can mention that "other" place after all).

When I was younger, I was fascinated, nay obsessed with the creatures of the night and it is safe to say that at some point, I was probably obsessed with wanting to be one in my youth. A certain book/movie series has ruined the overall appeal of vampire-dom for me now, but I still wouldn't mind being a classy female vamp, if only for a night.

Granted, my shape would only lend me towards an Ursula-type costume (but again, I'd have to watch the hole sleeveless issue), but I would much prefer one of the pretty evil ones like Maleficent or the Evil Queen.

Again, I would probably be stuck as the fat lady being sold, but my favorite Pirates pirate (and I'm talking the ride here, not the movies) would be old drunk Bill...here kitty kitty kitty....

I was Allison in school, so it would be more of a trip down memory lane versus an actual Halloween costume, but oh well!

This would have to be for sheer scare factor only, but I think I would rather enjoy rolling my eyes back in my head and cussing out loud and violently for the "sake of a character". I would, of course, leave out the whole crucifix as a masturbation device prop...even I'm not that sick.

In this incarnation, I'm referring to the ghost-host, as in Disney's Haunted Mansion. That would be a cool costume if done right. And I definitely have the cold, dry personality of a ghost host, so I could play that off as well.

Of all Jane Austen's heroines, I associate personally more to Anne than any of them (well, without the whole reuniting with my lost love who never fell out of love with me part). I could carry around Wentworth's letter and thoroughly enjoy my misery, while wearing period clothing. All I would be missing would be a Captain Wentworth in a cravat...most women dream of Darcy, give me the Captain any day!

OK, I know, sucky list, right? Well, I did warn you! I'm sure Kate and Tiff did SOOO much better!


Tiffstitch said...

There's nothing wrong with your list! All good options and yes, this is more a "what if" list for me too.

Heather said...

Good list :). I went as Regina from ouat a couple of years it's hanging in my closet right now. It's been a while since I've been a vampire the teeth bug me lol. I love the ghost host idea

Kate N said...

Some great ideas :)