Beh, I spent well over half my vacation, one I haven't been able to take in over 4 years, writhing in pain from my stupid constricting blood vessels in my brain! The only answer modern medical science can provide is medicine that a) makes me sick; b) makes me sleep; c) just barely works; d) is probably having lasting long term effects on my liver. I had another one yesterday at just the prospect of returning to my crappy real world. I think today I have accepted the inevitable and the pain has subsided once again.
But, having said all that, I'd give just about anything to be financially independent enough to be able to spend every single day of my life closed up in my house with my beloved Zachary doing nothing but stitching and watching whatever show I happen to be watching on DVD. Despite the pain, this was, quite possibly, the best week I've had all year long! No one called (except my darling T, and I didn't hear the phone, so I didn't get to talk to him), I never went outside, by midweek I was physically well enough to be able to start the Spooks marathon in anticipation of series 10, which I finally have possession of (I'm up to the beginning of 7 now). Plus, my mailbox probably over-runeth and I don't know if my car will even start, poor thing!
The worst thing in the world for an Asper-girl like me is to do what I did this week, keeping myself cooped up like this. I'm aware of the damage I may have caused to myself. There is no telling what the lasting effects will be and how withdrawn I'm going to become. All I can say is I'll try hard not to turn mean, sometimes I do that as a withdrawal tactic. Pushing people away is easier than keeping away myself and I'm well trained in the art of button pushing. They don't often let you walk away easily when they "care" about you...they think they're helping, but in my case, it just makes me withdrawal further. It's like I need time to reacclimate to the real world and until I step back into it all, I don't know how I'm gonna react. But people don't understand that because they aren't like me and they start pushing or over-compensating their nicety, basically, invading my "dance space" (to quote a line from Dirty Dancing). At least it's only a four-day week! I could definitely be an interesting one! I'm hoping I have my co-workers trained enough to my "eccentricities" to leave me alone until I'm ready.
But all in all, considering everything, I made significant progress stitch-wise if nothing else! I'm back in the gray areas (pardon the pun) and all the blank space between the top gray area and the bottom gray area is all one color, probably about 75,000 stitches! It might take me weeks to get through it! Oh well, a pleasant distraction from "the real world".