Monday, September 5, 2011

Disney World Halloween

So photos are starting to appear online of Disney World's Halloween decorations. I really shouldn't even look at them, but I can't seem to help myself. You see Walt Disney World (WDW for short) is my favorite place on earth and WDW at Halloween is even more magical! My perfect utopia! I've starting thinking of it as my mood-leveler...I only need at least one dose a year, but what will happen if I miss a dose? I don't have barely any joys in life, not like "normal" people and I really can't explain how WDW makes me feel, in the simplest terms, it makes me feel "happy". Those who know me know I'm not a "happy" person. Very few have seen me in the WDW atmosphere, but those who have know how I'm different there.

A Disney trip provides me with a goal. It sets my OCD brain on a quest for the year. I typically loose weight (to be able to fit into my vacation clothes), I exercise (to train for all the walking), I map out schedules and plan things moment to moment, and I spend uncountable hours just dreaming about my favorite place. More than anything, planning affords me with an outlet for the crappy things that inevitably happen in my life. My escape. Sure, I have cross-stitching, but my brain is free of roam and dwell on all the worries of my life, although it does help temporarily.

But this year I can't go for various reasons and trust me, I am feeling the loss, even more so during the fall season, my usual WDW vacation time. With everything going so poorly in every other aspect of my life, it wouldn't be possible anyway, not only financially, but work-wise there just isn't time. And once I start school next year, that means at least three more years without going. But, at the same time, with everything going so poorly, this should be the time that I do go...to get my dose, as it where. So, what do I do? There is nothing I can do really. I know that. But it doesn't keep me from wanting to go.

Guess I'll just have to keep waiting for the day that I win the lottery and can move to WDW and live there. Only then will I truly be happy...in the meantime, I guess I'll just keep torturing myself with other people's pictures.

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